Stupid Superhero Stuff

Okay Cunard. Here's your Meme, you big jerk face...

"If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why?"

The power of POSIVITIVITY! My brain energies would make babies smile and turn paste into peppermint. The world would hold hands and all poop would be solid and smell like marigolds.

"Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you fancy, and why?"

Kamandi, the last boy on earth, because he wears cutoffs, packs heat, does sex with a mute girl, is best friends with a talking dog and a Mutant with a Cyclotronic Heart. Plus, he fights tiger pirates and rides a giant grasshopper for fun because he rocks ass like a disco machine with an on button that is stuck on "on" and no one can stop rocking til the breaka breaka dawn.

"Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you hate?"

Superman. That pussy whipped, whiny, talk-about-feelings, here-let-me-heat-up-your-coffee-with-my-nuclear-heat-vision, boring married alien fuckface.

Strangely, the Superman that kicks ass and has a bottled alien city in his secret fortress and doesn't waste time having moonlight walks with his she-beast shrew of a wife... him, I love.
"What would your superhero name be?"

"For extra credit: Is there an ‘existing’ superhero with whom you identify/whom you would like to be?"

I identify with the Thing, but I would like to be Big Barda. Awwwww, yeah.

I think I skipped one about my superhero name. Well, it would be KID OMEGA.


Duh!

Cunard Memes Rice

So dumb ol' Ed picked up some kind of veneral internet superhero disease and he passed it along to Alex and me. So I guess I'll do it even though I HATE HIM FOREVER for it.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why? (Assume you also get baseline superhero enhancements like moderately increased strength, endurance and agility.)

Being a Nerd, I've thought about this one a lot. Telepathy/mind-reading was big for a while. Super-dishonesty was HUGE during puberty. And the applications for shapechanging are pretty much limitless. But, I think, in the end, I'll go for a kind of super-learning. Like that Marvel villain with the photographic reflexes, but a bit more. The power to learn any skill like an expert immediately. There are a lot of things I'd like to know how to do, and not so much time to learn how to do them. So I'd be a polylingual, kung-fu Eddie Van Halen. Or something.

Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you fancy, and why?

I don't think I do. When I was a kid, the idea that Rogue had to kiss people to use her powers gave me a little pre-woody. Enchantress and Lorelei's powers were basically that they were really hot. But nowadays . . .Hopey doesn't count, does she? I dunno, Phantom Lady. That's Lisa's favorite, at least.

(A weird side question, is it possible to have a crush on your own creation? Ah, Galetea madness!)

Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you hate?

Most of them. Like Alex says, the current Superman is a dork. Marvel put out droves of idiot characters in the nineties, but those are easy answers. I'm going to go with the Flash, who doesn't catch nearly enough crap for being lame. His power? BEING VERY FAST. It's a power half the other superheroes have, except they can do other stuff too. Flash was good when Julie Schwartz was using him to tell crazy sci-fi adventure stories. When the stories actually become ABOUT Mr. Runs Fast, zzzzzz. It's weird how he's considered an "icon" while other one-power lame-os with little-to-no-personality are made fun of. This includes that little shit Wally, too.

OK, here’s the tough one. What would your superhero name be? (No prefab porn-name formulas here, you have to make up the name you think you’d be proud to mask under.)

DaDamerican, for tradition's sake. Or Mr. Action for the future's sake.

For extra credit: Is there an ‘existing’ superhero with whom you identify/whom you would like to be?

I identify with Adam Strange because foreign chicks dig me.

Pass it on. Three people please, and why they’re the wind beneath your wings.

I pass this crap to ADD (for the opportunity he's given me), Robby Reed (because he CAN become a superhero), and Chris Burton (for commenting so faithfully).

Man, I feel dirty.

Items!

Item! Dan Clowes is a really nice guy. Met him at a signing last night and he was, by far, the least awkward indie great I've ever met. While that's not necessarily high praise, he was indeed charming. AND it turns out he wanted to name his son Joe, probably because he had heard of me subconsciously. If you haven't yet, get Ice Haven. Clowes, with Moore, is one of the two best writers in comics today AND he draws purdy.

Item! I haven't read all this week's comics yet, but HOLY SHIT did Grant Morrison make sweet love to my brain this week. Klarion and Vinamarama were amazing pieces of thought candy that exploded inside me and made my happy neurons expand. Days of Vengeance was "eh," GI Joe was not worth a quarter, and JLA: Classified trudged back to clicheville with alarming speed.

Item! Seth Fisher can DRAW!

Item! Geoff Johns given even more directorial power of the DCU! I can't wait to see how much more boring it can get!

Item! Keep checking out the New Comic Book Galaxy, as there's new content daily and I'm working on my next column ALREADY!

EXTRA Item! Cameron Stewart draws in-jokes in Manhattan Guardian!

Now/Then

Awesome! Brant linked me to a cool MoCCA spinoff thing, called Now and Then. It's got a lot of great cartoonists' work AND their work from when they were a kid. One of my favorites is Marc "Worn Tuff Elbow" Bell's drawing of his D&D character. How badass is that guy? Other great stuff to be found there, too.

NCBG

So the New Comic Book Galaxy is up.

Just so you know.

It's pretty awesome.

Especially my new biweekly column.