Cunard Memes Rice

So dumb ol' Ed picked up some kind of veneral internet superhero disease and he passed it along to Alex and me. So I guess I'll do it even though I HATE HIM FOREVER for it.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why? (Assume you also get baseline superhero enhancements like moderately increased strength, endurance and agility.)

Being a Nerd, I've thought about this one a lot. Telepathy/mind-reading was big for a while. Super-dishonesty was HUGE during puberty. And the applications for shapechanging are pretty much limitless. But, I think, in the end, I'll go for a kind of super-learning. Like that Marvel villain with the photographic reflexes, but a bit more. The power to learn any skill like an expert immediately. There are a lot of things I'd like to know how to do, and not so much time to learn how to do them. So I'd be a polylingual, kung-fu Eddie Van Halen. Or something.

Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you fancy, and why?

I don't think I do. When I was a kid, the idea that Rogue had to kiss people to use her powers gave me a little pre-woody. Enchantress and Lorelei's powers were basically that they were really hot. But nowadays . . .Hopey doesn't count, does she? I dunno, Phantom Lady. That's Lisa's favorite, at least.

(A weird side question, is it possible to have a crush on your own creation? Ah, Galetea madness!)

Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you hate?

Most of them. Like Alex says, the current Superman is a dork. Marvel put out droves of idiot characters in the nineties, but those are easy answers. I'm going to go with the Flash, who doesn't catch nearly enough crap for being lame. His power? BEING VERY FAST. It's a power half the other superheroes have, except they can do other stuff too. Flash was good when Julie Schwartz was using him to tell crazy sci-fi adventure stories. When the stories actually become ABOUT Mr. Runs Fast, zzzzzz. It's weird how he's considered an "icon" while other one-power lame-os with little-to-no-personality are made fun of. This includes that little shit Wally, too.

OK, here’s the tough one. What would your superhero name be? (No prefab porn-name formulas here, you have to make up the name you think you’d be proud to mask under.)

DaDamerican, for tradition's sake. Or Mr. Action for the future's sake.

For extra credit: Is there an ‘existing’ superhero with whom you identify/whom you would like to be?

I identify with Adam Strange because foreign chicks dig me.

Pass it on. Three people please, and why they’re the wind beneath your wings.

I pass this crap to ADD (for the opportunity he's given me), Robby Reed (because he CAN become a superhero), and Chris Burton (for commenting so faithfully).

Man, I feel dirty.