NO FIWOTTS ALLOWED!

Friday, May 27, 2005

I've got a feeling . . .

1. That when you get to see Captain Rice Marvel and Mystery Man take on the Evil Slime Dragon, it's going to rock your asses so far off that they'll be back on.

2. That the big happenings ADD is talking about will be awesome.

3. That Thanagarians wear wings to hide their hideous back acne.

4. That Green Lantern, while better than Rebirth, is still Decent Superhero Work, which is to say, bad comics.

16 Love Letters:

Blogger Bill Reed said...

Isn't it just called "backne?" Or "bacne," perhaps...

Oh, and yes. Yes they do.

8:53 PM

 
Blogger alex said...

I wouldn't call GREEN LANTERN "bad comics"... it was a pretty intriguing set up and mostly well crafted. Yes, it's dopey DC superhero boilerplate, but the art was stunning and the story seems to be going somewhere with cool potential.

In short, you're a fuck face.

9:18 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, if Alex likes it...it must be real Green Lantern then.

4:02 AM

 
Anonymous Paul said...

I'm a major fuckface. Since when does "dopey boilerplate" not equal bad comics?

Green Lantern. The comic about the dude with the magic ring that doesn't really do anything but tell him exactly how much power it has.

Twenty-seven point THREE?! Darn it, I thought I had AT LEAST twenty-seven point nine! I guess I better slow down on the excitement! It's a good thing nothing happened this issue.

Hey, who are these antagonists? Hmmm...wait, aren't they those boring guys that have been boring in every previous comics appearance they've made? I'M SURE THE MANHUNTERS WILL BE INTERESTING THIS TIME.

And who cares about Captain Honky's perhaps-somehow-even-whiter kid brother? I don't know, but let's spend a few pages on it anyway. And if for some wild reason he doesn't interest you, let's show you Hal's old pal who's now married with kids. That's shorthand for "more boringer" for those that don't know.

Don't get me started on Jet Poker.

Never mind. I'm sorry about all this. I guess I somehow forgot that Hal is teh awesome.

11:55 AM

 
Anonymous Paul said...

Whoops, not done ranting after all.

I'm sick and tired of these comics where the protagonist doesn't DO anything! No, "rebuilding his life" doesn't count.

These men have the greatest powers in the universe! Why don't they ever do anything even mildly cool anymore?

Sometimes the Flash runs. I've seen him do it. But lately, that's all he does. He ran to Mexico, came back, and punched Gorilla Grodd about two years ago. That was literally one of the most exciting things he's done in Geoff Johns' run. The Zoom arc before that I think had the Flash doing something. I can't remember.

The book is the FLASH, for crap's sake. He's the FASTEST MAN ALIVE. Where's the cool psuedo-science, the innovative use of super-powers?

Why is Johns' writing so mesmerizing to people that they aren't realizing that the supposed protagonists don't DO anything?

Maybe Hal will get creative with the use of his ring. I hope so. But he's only as creative as the guy writing him, and it's been a long while since we've seen any real creativity from Geoff Johns.

12:06 PM

 
Blogger Bill Reed said...

Green Lantern is a brilliant creation of the Silver Age; he's a fearless jet pilot with the power of imagination, and he's named after a bloody lighting device. Yet he has not been interesting in thirty or so years. Maybe more.

C'mon! I want to see him fighting Kanjar Ro in deep space, struggling against the Cosmic Scrabble Board of Doom, or, hell, I dunno, something. Of course, Hal Jordan is utterly unlikeable, ever since he went crazy, killed a bunch of people, died a few times, and turned into a mean ghost. Screw the retcons; GL sucks.

Let's have Kilowog headline the title, or something. At least he's interesting.

3:03 PM

 
Blogger Brian Cronin said...

Don't forget, yellow also no longer is a problem...so long as you "feel fear" first!

Yikes.

I was not a fan of Green Lantern #1.

The art, though, was AWEsome.

3:15 PM

 
Blogger Eliot Johnson said...

Let me tell you how bad "Rebirth" was...

This comic, GL #1, was INFINITELY better than "Rebirth" and I still did not even remotely enjoy it (except, as brian mentioned, the really cool art).

However...i do see a glimmer of hope. There is potential here, however small. the empty coast city thing is kinda interesting, while, if done right, the manhunters may not be the boringest villains ever (i know i've seen nothing to prove this, but i say they have potential).

1:36 PM

 
Blogger Christopher Burton said...

Uh, to which "big happenings" are you referring? Most of that stuff seemed fairly mundane to me. Except the Iranian guy. I can get behind that.

8:46 PM

 
Anonymous Scott said...

Yeah, I couldn't find any "big happenings" either, but is he serious about wanting me to give money to Warren Ellis? Because fuck that.

8:53 AM

 
Blogger Paul said...

All in all, I'd say this was a flawed blog entry.

10:43 AM

 
Blogger Brian Cronin said...

Yeah, I will allow that Green Lantern #1 had some stuff in it that makes me think that there COULD be some good stuff in the book later.

But that gets kinda tired after awhile, you know?

"Well, yes, THIS issue stunk...but there is still hope for next one!"

"Okay, this one stunk, too...but he lays some groundwork for NEXT issue to be good!"

And so on, and so forth, until infinity.

Like those cool comic book covers...only with suckiness.

4:28 PM

 
Blogger alex said...

Okay, okay, it was lame.

And it will continue to be lame.

Because the writer is not very talented and very, very boring.

BUT...

"Rebirth" was the worst shit ever written, and out of that steaming turd, he produced soemthing tolerable.

Some shit stinks less than other shit.

I want a GREEN LANTERN book out there that doesn't TOTALLY suck, and this had moments that were fun. Let me have this small victory.

My life is very empty otherwise.

-a

7:18 PM

 
Blogger Brian Cronin said...

Yeah, on that point, you're definitely correct, Alex.

This was, like, 1000% times better than Rebirth.

However, there is still hope for you, Alex, as Gibbons is doing that Green Lantern Corps series.

You gotta figure Gibbons won't fuck that up like he did the Rann/Thanagar War #1.

7:32 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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7:36 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a huge fan so youmight like akc labrador retriever

9:23 AM

 

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