Superheroes I Hate

I'm feeling a bit negative today, I don't know why. I only read the comics I know will be good, so it's not that. Just a mood thing. My man period.

But I'm going to feed my own negativity and finally post the superheroes I hate. I've been wanting to rant about this for a while. It's embarrassingly nerdy and petty, but, by gum, it's what I feel. So here we go.

1. Green Arrow/Hawkeye: brash "iconoclast" with a bow and arrow. I hate that. It's stupid. Swords are cool in certain situations even in modern times. But bows and arrows are dumb in a superhero setting. And why do the guys who shoot them have the same stupid personality? Oh, they clash with authority! That's so awesome! Except they clash with authority in ways only authority-fearing nerds could imagine. "OOOH BOOTS ON THE TABLE!" I hate these stupid characters.

2. Photon/Captain Marvel/Pulsar/Whatever: Nobody with Jerry Curl should ever be seen again, let alone be called "Captain Marvel." This stupid character seems to have a rabid cult following that I'll never understand. Bland character, stupid powers, awful costume, is there anything appealing about this character at all? The answer is no. She is stupid.

3. Wally West: Ultimate Mary Sue character, to get ubernerdier. He was once a square mid-west guy, even conservative. Then he was a money-loving womanizer. But then Mark Waid wrote him (pretty well, mind you) and he became Mark Waid. Geoff Johns gets him and he's a blue collar workaday guy. He works on that cartoon as a comic relief fellow, and that's kind of how Morrison seemed to use him. But the fact is he's so bland that every writer has to put some part of himself into him. Also, running fast is a stupid super power. And "speedster" is a stupid word that I often can't believe even exists. Because Barry Allen was in the JLA then all the sudden every superhero universe needs a bunch of dorks who run fast. It's stupid. I hate it.

4. Now that you mention it, I pretty much hate all the Wolfman-era Titans. Even if they were neat before, he turned them into whiney soap opera characters and they've never recovered. Dick Grayson, ugh. Raven, zzzzz. Cyborg, snicker. Starfire ROLLEYES. Arsenal, plop. (I don't know what that last part meant.) But look at them, they're all these touchy feely talk about your emotions types and it makes me want to cut off my anus. I hate them, mostly because as the cartoon and cartoony comic has shown us, these could be fun characters, if only Marv Wolfman never decided to write soap opera Marvel stuff at DC.

5. Jean Grey: Stay dead, crapface.

That's it for now. I'm sure I actually hate a lot more of them. Discuss why I'm right.