On the other hand . . .

I also inexplicably love some characters. There are characters who haven't been in a great book for years or decades or even EVER for whom, for some reason, I have this undue affection. It's hard to explain in most cases. Much of it is a gutteral feeling, maybe stemming from childhood love. For this list, I'm going to exclude characters who are currently in a great book (i.e. Plastic Man) or who pretty much ONLY existed in a great book (i.e. Flex Mentallo). I'm talking superheroes that are in bad or terrible books that, who knows why, I still like deep down inside. I don't have much character loyalty; I don't understand buying, say, Thor, just because Thor is in it. But whenever I hear about the following characters showing up, I hope and pray it's finally going to be good, either again or for the first time.

Anyway.

1. The first one is obvious to anyone who knows me at all. I goddam love Captain I also inexplicably love some characters. There are characters who haven't been in a great book for years or decades or even EVER for whom, for some reason, I have this undue affection. It's hard to explain in most cases. Much of it is a gutteral feeling, maybe stemming from childhood love. For this list, I'm going to exclude characters who are currently in a great book (i.e. Plastic Man) or who pretty much ONLY existed in a great book (i.e. Flex Mentallo). I'm talking superheroes that are in bad or terrible books that, who knows why, I still like deep down inside. I don't have much character loyalty; I don't understand buying, say, Thor, just because Thor is in it. But whenever I hear about the following characters showing up, I hope and pray it's finally going to be good, either again or for the first time.

Anyway.

1. The first one is obvious to anyone who knows me at all. I goddam love Captain Marvel. The real one, not some alien who died of cancer or some bland Jheri-Curl (thanks for the catch, there) nobody. Billy Batson. The kid who can turn into the world's mightiest mortal. His great golden age stuff still holds up, unlike a lot of the big superheroes. The entire Marvel Family is awesome (in theory). Great design, great idea, great adventures, just all around great. Unfortunately, they've been mishandled worse than pretty much any other characters since DC got them. The Maggin/O'Neil stories were good, but it didn't last long. Not even Jerry Ordway, with obvious love, could really make them pop in today's world. I have to think that they can work. I tell my students about them and they go wild. Captain Marvel can work, especially if you don't worry about the grown ups who want him to participate in Infinite Crisis or whatever. Give him to the kids. It's sure fire, I guarantee it.

2. Iceman. Yeah, Alex hates him. And he's not been in a good comic since, uh . . .has he ever been in a good comic? Maybe it's because of that Spider-man cartoon. I have absolutely no reason to like this character at all. He's bland, his powers are silly, he looks stupid, and in thirty, forty years he's had ZERO development. But, still, when I think of favorite superheroes, he comes to mind.

I must interrupt this important list to vent. I just wrote the whole thing, tried to post it, and it was lost. Oh, man. I had ten characters with detailed analysis and explanation. Oh, man. This sucks.

IT HAPPENED AGAIN! I WAS TO NUMBER NINE THIS TIME AND IT WENT KABLOOEY AGAIN! ARRRRRRRGHHHHH!!!! That’s it, I’m moving this to Word for now.

Anyway. Jesus. Here we go.

3. Cassandra Cain/Batgirl. Not even Dylan Horrocks made her work, but I think a uberfighting teenage girl with language difficulties has a lot of potential. It’s just never been met.
4. Longshot. Mullet, glowing eye, vague powers, he’s got a lot of hallmarks of suckitude. Somehow, though, that first Mini was awesome. Art Adams was a big part of it, no doubt. But, unfortunately, this favorite of mine got stuck in the Claremont X-Men, which destroys even Alan Moore characters. Dazzler? Shatterstar? Never happened. Longshot may not ever need to come back.
5. Lorelei. Because I liked Longshot, I loved the “L” issue of the Marvel Handbook. And second grade li’l Joey felt funny in his bathing suit parts when he stared at the Enchantress’ sister. For that, I’ll always be grateful.
6. Thermite. An obscure Squadron Supreme character that I only really liked because he had one of those full-body costumes. It’s the Snake Eyes effect.
7. Timber Wolf. I can’t read the Legion after 5YL, it’s crap to me. And the earlier stuff doesn’t do much either. But I loved wolves as a kid, so I loved Timber Wolf. Take equal parts werewolf, Wolverine, Han Solo, and Superman and you’ve got Timber Wolf. I just got myself all excited.
8. Freedom Fighters/Quality Characters: So weird and bizarre, so charming, so underutilized. I always saw them as the “weird cousins” of the rest of the DCU. The ones they all knew about, but tried not to think about. Sigh. Dead now.
9. Madison Jeffries/Box. OK, awesome robot suit? The mutant power to make it do anything? It’s like Green Lantern, Iron Man, and Robotech had this awesome baby that no one ever really used well. I hear Frank Tieri messed with him recently. A shame.
10. I’m forgetting someone. Stupid blogger and its nosaving and stupid school and its firewalls. What EXTREMELY IMPORTANT CHARACTER am I forgetting? This is driving me crazy. Wesley Dodds? No, he was used pretty well. Oh, I remember. Dr. Fate. The first time I heard of him, a friend brought his action figure to school. He was new, different, and therefore I loved him. Unfortunately, he’s boring as a white person talking about white stuff.

OK, that ought to do it for a while. Who are your unexplainable beloveds?