Wednesday, December 21, 2005

The Joe Rice Imaginary Media Review

So, here in New York, we have a thing called a "transit strike." That's when one group of people want one thing and another group of people want another so they decide that they're not adults anymore and a tantrum is thrown. Due to this situation, I can't actually go to a real comic book store. So, instead, I imagined that I went to an imaginary comic book store. Here I will tell you what I got and what I imagine I thought of them.

Let me tell you, the new Eightball? Even better than Ice Haven and the Ray combined! It's a sprawling story taking place over several decades, with a detective in the thirties, a knight in medieval times, and some ninjas in the future all trying to deal with their lots in life. It's difficult to explain properly, but the way the story is told, the format of the drawings, actually starts to twist time and space around in a very unique way. The guest page by Chris Ware was something to behold, as well.

Steve Martin's new DC superhero book The Jester is also holding up pretty well. Phillip Bond really handles both the every-day sequences and the wild super action with aplomb. I don't want to ruin any of the jokes, but the sequence with the typewriter is frickin comedy GOLD!

Captain Comet/Adam Strange: Attack of the Galaxy Leeches isn't quite as good as I hoped, but it still kicks plenty of ass. Andy Diggle seems less restrained by editorial mandate here, and Cameron Stewart really gets the feel of pulp science down. Lasers, ships, quips, and intelligent bravado abound in this penultimate issue of the buddy book from space.

Eric Powell hits another issue of The Incredible Hulk out of the park. Just the right combination of action, humor, and spectacle. I know I never say much specific or new about this one, but what else can I say? It's damn awesome.

Quentin Quire: Kid Omega continues to surprise. This "mission of learning and peace" thing really seems to be going somewhere. The conversation with the waitress seemed very authentic. It still feels weird seeing Tomine working on a Marvel book, a mutant book at that. But it's only four issues in. The phone call? Jesus, I felt that.

OK, JLA had some pretty insane stuff this month. Zatanna and Plastic Man's encounter with the Incorrection Board was amazing and spooky at the same time. Cliff's disdain for Red Tornado's dorkiness still cracks me up. And you know I'm not making up that moment that Batgirl and Captain Marvel shared. That was cuter than a bag of puppies. When they turned around and whipped up the house New World's Finest style, I called out a big FUKYEA!

Speaking of which, the new Marvel Family Giant simply cannot be stopped. Oh, man. From the lead story by Morrison and Quitely to Mahfood's goofy bit to Pope's Cap Jr. solo story to Horrocks and Xaime's kickASS Mary story . . .was there a bad story in this? The Vaughn piece was a little weak, and Maggin wasn't at his best, but still . . .this was the best issue yet. Really, really blew me away.

The Amazing Joy Buzzards/Adventures in Rock and Roll/Grammar Police Megabook was a delight unseen by mortal eyes until now. In fact, I'm not sure if I can see it anyway. I can not talk about it further, I'm jizzing too hard and too much to type. Must think of a bad comic.

Oh, yeah. Kurt Busiek's Thor was boring.

Anyway, that's what I got this week. Pretty great, overall. I had to pass up the Absolute Flex Mentallo with all the extras. A little birdy told me it was going to be a Christmas gift.

What did you all think?

18 Love Letters:

Blogger Mark Fossen said...

I don't know what your problem is with Busiek's Thor: Hammer of Asgard. It's not quite as strong as his Iron Man: Suit Of Armor, but it still rocks.

Did you pick up the Gotham Central relaunch by the Elk's Run team of Fialkov, Tuazon, and Keating? That was ace.

7:18 PM

Anonymous daniel apodaca said...

"Quentin Quire: Kid Omega continues to surprise. This "mission of learning and peace" thing really seems to be going somewhere. The conversation with the waitress seemed very authentic. It still feels weird seeing Tomine working on a Marvel book, a mutant book at that. But it's only four issues in. The phone call? Jesus, I felt that."

Oh my god my heart skipped a beat.

8:28 PM

Blogger Gary said...

An Absolute Flex Mentallo hardcover? Don't even tease, man.

(Oh, and Daniel, I thought your X-Statix set-up was really good.)

9:01 PM

Anonymous daniel apodaca said...

Thanks, Gary. I could probably come up with something even better if I wasn't so lazy and absent-minded.

9:48 PM

Anonymous daniel apodaca said...

Also, Gary is a good artist.

9:48 PM

Anonymous Brandon said...

This-this was so beautiful man. . . .

10:20 PM

Anonymous Richard said...

I heard from a friend in LA that she saw that damn silly manchild/lead singer for Death Cab For Cutie wearing a QUENTIN QUIRE: KID OMEGA tee. I asked her if it was the Tomine illo or Quitely's ace "boy in the crowd" shot, but she didn't remember.

10:38 PM

Blogger Bill said...

Joe? Can you start running the comic books now? Because I think that'd be a good thing.

9:41 AM

Blogger Joe Rice said...

No, Bill, I couldn't possibly. I'm already quite busy with my job as a teacher. Sure, the extra power, creativity, and money would be a plus. And, yes, I would make the industry much better as a whole. And I'm smart, brilliant, and handsome. But I really must let someone else have a chance. You couldn't possibly convince me . . .OK FINE. I'LL DO IT.

10:12 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

this joe rice sounds like a serial killer, human vermin like him should be burned alive, these nazi vermin who hate nerds, should be shot over and over again, i hope he burns in hell

3:30 PM

Blogger Brad Curran said...

Pretty much all you have to say about Eric Powell on the Hulk is Eric Powell on the Hulk, really. That pretty much explains it all.

3:34 PM

Blogger Christopher Burton said...

I personally liked the new Ambush Bug book. You know, the one where he and Omni the Multi-Alien are housemates in the Metropolis burbs and their place gets trashed in a superhero house party. You know, the one by Roger Langridge.

4:23 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

So many times it seems you take a writer/artist out of their self-made milieu, and you think they're going to knock some old-time Big Two property out of the park, and then they don't. There are many examples, but for a recent and dramatic one: maybe I'm just a natural-born heretic, but I have to say that while I thought the Spider-Man/Invincible team-up was AWESOMELY EXCELLENT!!!!, I thought the other Kirkman Marvel efforts lacked luster. And that's weird, don't you think? I mean what's wrong with me? But I can think of numerous other cases when someone who is really awesome just didn't connect with what I like about some particular long-standing character...Eric Powell on the Hulk, though, you've just got to know that would be something unbelievably good. Right? Likewise with his Thor, sweet Odin I'd read that. Oh, to have the Allred X-Force era at Marvel back again, we could have actually seen Powell doing things like this!

Joe, I want to see more Imaginary Media Reviews, okay? I remember at the old site someone piqued my interest with the idea of Messner-Loebs FF and Steranko Flash and Jaime H. Marvel Family, and other things you just know could never be wrong, and call me a geek if you must but I want to think about these things more. Just recently I read someone pining for a Morrison Atom miniseries, and I drifted off into a weirdass reverie at work because of that thought for almost an hour. Several people were killed. It's really a shame. But it's a shame I can't stay away from. So make more.

Or, make the opposite! Mark Waid on The Filth Vol. II. Bendis and Maleev on The Spirit. JMS Mister Miracle. Chris Claremont's Miracleman (no quarter asked, none given! The outcome is never in doubt!) and his epic V For Vendetta: Aftermath (eek! It could happen!), or even -- now I'd read this, I really would -- Dave Sim's Wonder Woman. And of course John Byrne on Doom Patrol, but then again maybe that's just going a little bit too far, I mean John Byrne on Doom Patrol, it is to laugh. Ha. Ugh, I feel dirty now, dirty! Damn you, Joe, I think my list is more realistic than yours! If it weren't for ASS already existing in real life, I think I'd despair.

So start the posting, already.

3:56 AM

Blogger Brian Cronin said...

"So many times it seems you take a writer/artist out of their self-made milieu, and you think they're going to knock some old-time Big Two property out of the park, and then they don't."

Oddly enough, I can't recall too many examples of this, myself.

Most of the time, I remember awesome writer/artists from one self-made milieu doing a Big Two property and it being, well, awesome.

But I will certainly allow for the option of me just forgetting a series of high profile duds.

So please refresh my memory (isn't it annoying how everythings sounds like sarcasm on the net? I mean the refresh my memory stuff totally sincerely, but even to ME it reads like I'm being sarcastic) of the duds.

11:10 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bendis, maybe? Ellis, even? Unless you are specifically referring to writers who are their own artists (which I wasn't, mea culpa, pardon the confusion, that was entirely my fault, I was only saying writers or artists, that was stupid of me to use that slashy shorthand), then I'd like to know how I'm wrong to cite these two as really excellent examples of non-park-out-hitting. And, I'm rather curious to hear who it is in this category who's been "well, awesome" in your view. No fair using Kirkman, I already pulled him in. You could use Darwyn Cooke, but hah! I just said him too, now if I can only get him to do that Fourth World/Uncle Scrooge thing I've been dreaming of...

You're right, it does sound sarcastic!

7:59 AM

Blogger zack soto said...

I think I wish you ran DC.

10:05 PM

Blogger Scott M said...


I am really confused.

I bought a whole stack of new comics a couple of weeks ago so that my newborn son will have a bunch from the week he was born.

One of them was The Incredible Hulk cover dated - it was really dark (yet glossy) and had Banner living in Alaska with a rape scene thrown in for fun.

As far as I can tell, Eric Powell was still in the lower 48 and nowhere near this issue.

What was I reading?
Do I live in an alternate universe?

1:43 PM

Anonymous f. chong rutherford said...


10:05 PM


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