NO FIWOTTS ALLOWED!

Monday, September 12, 2005

BEHOLD ye mere MORTALS!

Ladies and gentlemen:

Per-fucking-fection

Jesus Lord in Heaven. Beautiful. Utterly beautiful.

If you cannot recognize the sheer mastery of craft that Frank Quitely has achieved, then you are a Fucking Idiot With Objectively Terrible Taste, or a FIWOTT. FIWOTTs are not welcome at this blog. You've probably been offended by something else that we've correctly stated and are gone already, but if you're hanging around for some reason, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. Listen to Us is an Anti-FIWOTT blog. We actively discriminate against FIWOTTs. I am full of prejudice directed at FIWOTTs. And the Irish. And the Italians. But those are different stories. I'd rather have a Guiness with Spaghetti than hang out with a FIWOTT.

Hmmm. Perhaps a FIWOTT Registration Act is in order. Let's wipe the internet of this plague of moronicity and dimwittedry. DOWN WITH FIWOTTS! DOWN WITH FIWOTTS!

Back on more pleasant matters, that piece up there is still absolutely amazing.

And I got to tell this year's first installment of the "Captain Marvel story" to my new class. They are pumped to hear more adventures of the seven year old orphan who can turn into the world's mightiest mortal. It's not hard to make this stuff fun for kids.

32 Love Letters:

Blogger Paul said...

Hey, dummy, where is that drawering from? You should say things like this to make me know.

4:03 PM

 
Blogger Joe Rice said...

It's from a book called All-Star Superman. It stars Superman.

4:05 PM

 
Blogger Paul said...

Sometimes you are too stupid to even talk to, let alone look at.

4:21 PM

 
Blogger Joe Rice said...

Sometimes he is known as Clark Kent.

4:25 PM

 
Blogger Jake said...

Man, I was wondering when you'd get to this. Though, I figured the fact that the preview came from the latest issue of Wizard might deter you from finding it.

Post some scans of Lex Luthor's scene. God DAMN, that's a cool Luthor.

And the one page, four panel, eight word montage that tells you EVERYTHING THAT NEEDS TO BE KNOWN ABOUT SUPERMAN. Good lord. That captured the essense of Superman better than everything DC has done in the last decade.

4:42 PM

 
Blogger Kevin Church said...

Jake, you mean this page?

Eight freaking words. I hate him and love him at the same time.

4:47 PM

 
Blogger Joe Rice said...

Yeah, I didn't get the Wizard thing, this was emailed to me.

Thank you, Brant.

4:51 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

People who don't like Frank Quitely are probably my least favourite type of comic fan, and that's saying a lot.

Now somebody post these Luthor panels I'm hearing about.

-Scott

8:27 PM

 
Blogger Lex said...

That Superman picture and the page beaucoupkevin posted just turned me on. All-Star Superman will be the greatest thing ever! Yes, greater than Guardian fighting subway pirates (although that's hard to top).

And that's an awesome story about reading Captain Marvel to your class, Joe. Cap is such a kid-friendly character that I'm shocked DC isn't capitolizing on that power. What kid wouldn't love a comic about a kid who transforms into a cool superhero? Either there needs to be a Shazam! cartoon or a kid-friendly Shazam! comic (to go alongside whatever angsty, drama-ridden, teenage Cap book DC puts out).

9:00 PM

 
Blogger Bill Reed said...

Fhqwhgads.

Oh, yes, and All-Star Superman (ASS?) will be lovely, but I think Quitely drew his right hand a bit weird in that splash. Anyway. Yes. Quitely is easily my favorite comic artist these days.

10:23 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's the rest.

http://superman.ws/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=1788

10:48 PM

 
Blogger Sophia Yanow said...

"I'd rather have a Guiness with Spaghetti than hang out with a FIWOTT."

Truer words were never spoken.

And yes. It is awesome. No FIWOTTery from my end!

12:48 AM

 
Blogger Joe Rice said...

Sophie, you are a true Good Egg. I am not quite sure about that Reed boy up there.

5:33 AM

 
Blogger Bill Reed said...

It's just a hand, dammit! Just...! A...! Hand...!

9:32 AM

 
Blogger Joe Rice said...

Those bastards at CSBG are destroying you.

3:04 PM

 
Blogger Bill Reed said...

Dammit, you should've seen me defending the awesomness of this "ASS" preview all over the interweb.

4:26 PM

 
Blogger Joe Rice said...

Assosciating with known FIWOTTs?

Mmmhm.

4:40 PM

 
Blogger Bill Reed said...

I only do so to scorn them, m'liege.

And besides, if I am cool enough to offer to write Aquaman for free (Check CSBG; and, yes, I know you're listening, DC, you've had your spies on me for years), then I am totally the awexome.

5:36 PM

 
Blogger Joe Rice said...

Make it a girl's adventure comic!

5:38 PM

 
Blogger Bill Reed said...

No, dammit, it's a children's fantasy epic that's drenched in crazy madpop. Everything everyone loved about the Silver Age in a modern context.

All-Star Aquaman. Without the stars.

6:06 PM

 
Blogger Joe Rice said...

Close enough!

6:10 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Here's the rest.
http://superman.ws/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=1788"

Um, I went to that link, and the initial comments after the preview made me want to shoot myself.

Bitching about the size of Superman's chin, the fact that the solar chronosphere is hotter than 6,000 degrees, the fact that Jor-el and Lara's outfits are different than they've been before, and on and on, all of it missing the point that SUPERMAN IS BACK!!!!! And until reading this preview, I didn't realize how much I'd missed him. I feel like hugging the solar-charged lug. Holy God, that was good superhero comics.

10:31 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's why you NEVER read the comments after the preview. If years of reading about comics on the internet have taught me anything, it's that.

11:01 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, I might actually give a shit about Superman now.

-Dan

1:05 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's wrong with the Irish! Them's fightin' words, aye!
j.m.

8:49 AM

 
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6:08 PM

 
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