NO FIWOTTS ALLOWED!

Monday, March 21, 2005

I Love You, Kyle Baker

Here's a sample, but click the link for more.

What's funny is how many negative comments I hear from idiots who haven't figured out that it's a kid's book. These are the same geniuses who don't understand that at the end of the day DC Superheroes are kiddie properties. That's why there are so many Superman pajamas at K-Mart. You'll never see an R-Rated Batman movie, because that would be financial suicide.

My 6-year-old daughter and I like to flip through the current comics and laugh at how there's no fight. We just saw a JLA comic that was literally 21 pages of Superheroes talking! Nobody used their super powers once! Martian Manhunter finally loses his temper on one page, and grabs a guy's neck, but then he decides not to strangle him, and then the JLA decide to talk some more. News Flash: Kids Can't Read Yet. They need visuals. Wonder Woman flying in her glass plane and stopping bullets with her wrists. That's the stuff they like.

Maybe I'm too demanding, but when I see a comic book about a guy named Green Arrow dressed like Robin Hood, I expect to see him SHOOT SOME ARROWS! If the book is called Superman, I want to see him do something super! How come superheroes are always crying? Sitting around talking and crying and never fighting crime, because they're too complex and conflicted? Plastic Man is about a guy who turns into things and fights crime with his super powers. It's a DC Comic for kids. Like the ones that got us all interested in comic books in the first place.

The problem is smart children don't have as much money as grown idiots, so we make the books for grown idiots who want to read about crying Martians who talk a lot.


Now excuse me, I'm going to hump my computer screen and this quote for a while.

10 Love Letters:

Anonymous John said...

Crying Martians in JLA? Man, am I glad I dropped that book and now the Ultimates... No one ever cries or talks a lot in that com... oh, errr, waitaminute....

Crap.

J'

11:30 AM

 
Blogger Joe Rice said...

In JLA's defence (sort of), that was during Austen's "Pain of the Gods" arc, where they all took turns crying. But DC's theme this year is crying. Look at most of the "mainline" books by their pet hacks Johns, Loeb, Rucka, etc. Weeping everywhere. Nothing's fun.

JLA under Busiek has less weeping, but isn't very much more exciting in spite of that. Then comes Rucka doing an Identity Crisis sequel. Who'll be raped this time?

12:55 PM

 
Blogger Ed Cunard said...

I also love Kyle Baker. Interviewing him is intimidating, even if he's a nice guy. He's probably the only guy I interviewed that I got all geeked out over.

"Holy shit," I say to my wife. "I get to talk to Kyle Baker! Kyle fucking Baker."

"Shut up, dork."

But she's a philistine, so what does she know.

1:27 PM

 
Blogger Joe Rice said...

Girls! What do they know, except what's wrong with us?

3:16 PM

 
Blogger Paul said...

Joe Kelly led the way for crying super-heroes in his visionary JLA run...

WITH PLASTIC MAN.

Is there any circumstance, ever, where PLASTIC MAN should be crying? Real tears of non-comedic sadness?

My only question about the crying super-heroes trend is...what took so long?

5:10 PM

 
Anonymous Brad Curran said...

"Then comes Rucka doing an Identity Crisis sequel. Who'll be raped this time?"

Johns is doing the IC follow up JLA arc. With the guy who's writing the Young Avengers. I know they're kind of interchangable in your Circle of Hate (and on DC's mainstream books, really), but still, I had to point that out. Because I'm anal about comics; even the ones I will never, ever read.

"Joe Kelly led the way for crying super-heroes in his visionary JLA run...

WITH PLASTIC MAN."

Wow, everything in the DCU does tie together these days.

"My only question about the crying super-heroes trend is...what took so long?"

The teeth gritting super-hero era ran long?

10:58 PM

 
Blogger Joe Rice said...

Rucka and Johns aren't the same guy? Oh, wait. Rucka's the one obsessed with Renne Montoya, Johns is the one obsessed with everything ever.

7:37 AM

 
Blogger Brad Curran said...

They may be. I've never seen them in the same room or anything. I do feel a little defensive for Rucka because I've like some of his stuff (even the first couple issues of his first Montoya-centric GC story), but from what I hear, his mainstream superhero work isn't easy to distinguish from the other guys in heavy rotation at DC.

11:34 PM

 
Blogger Michael said...

Short answer to Kyle's question: 9-11.

12:29 AM

 
Blogger Joe Rice said...

Using 9/11 as an excuse to use superhero comics as your own personal therapy is pretty pathetic. So, yeah, that sounds about right for these writers.

9:47 AM

 

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