Friday, January 20, 2006

Oh, Paul . . .

Don't you know that boners are SO All Star Superman #1? God. You're an embarrassment to this blog and to all comic fans everywhere. Also to your mother, who was always nice to me. But not your dad, he doesn't care.

I'm not going to talk about boners in this post about All Star Superman #2. But I'll say this: before getting All Star Superman #2 I had horrible runny poo, the worst stomach virus I've ever had. Since getting it: AOK #1 Good Time Joe!

So there's that. It cures horrible runny poos. Even before you insert it into your anus slowly using a water-based lubricant.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

NOOOOOOOO!!!!! Argh!

It's my birthday today!

All Star Superman comes out today!

Runaways, Mr. Miracle, and Schizo too!

And Amazing Joy Buzzards came out last week!

But guess what.

I got a stomach virus this morning and can't leave my goddam toilet for more than an hour!


Tuesday, January 17, 2006

An Important Story

For some reason, we have no heat in our apartment.
This is a "bad thing", being that it's somewhere shy of freezing outside.
It's a strange phenomenon, as our building's steam heat has been blasting full throttle for the past few weeks, during the fluke warm spell when we needed it least. No longer though, and our radiators are as cold as delicious frozen tofutti.

The thermostat is in the apartment on the ground floor, and it appears that those folks are "gone fishin'" or something. No sign of human life. So I am currently wearing:
-long-sleeve tee
-fleece housecoat
-hoodie sweatshirt
-and the thickest socks imaginable. I am under a heavy blanket, and wrapping my hands around a hot coffee mug. The cats are huddled with me for warmth. I am thinking about going somewhere warm, but that would involve changing clothes, which would be a cold, cold, cold five minutes. I'm mostly warm where I am.

The point is, I call bullshit on the Fortress of Solitude. Arctic homes are losing more and more appeal as the day goes on.

On a related note, ALL STAR SUPERMAN #2 ships tomorrow, which warms my heart. Also arriving is MISTER MIRACLE #3, which might be the most disturbing SEVEN SOLDIERS yet. I was totally horrified reading it, and had to turn away a few times, like my girlfriend does during horror movies. I liked it quite a bit, but it gave me the willies. I'm interested in hearing other reactions...