Listen To Us, We're Right

Death Walks With Him

2007-02-04T03:03:00.000-05:00

One of the nicest things about American superhero comics is that, in general, they are on the side of life.

After a dodgy start, Superman ended up with an inflexible moral code of no killing that is stronger than his fists. He has been driven mental several times purely by the emotional anguish of causing the death of somebody, even when it comes to mortal foes. This makes him a Good Guy, and the influence of the character has seen his example kept up by the large majority of his peers.

There are, as always, some big fucking exceptions: The American horror and war comics are piled high with corpses, but most of them are bad people or Nazis, so that’s okay. The mainstream superhero comics have had an extraordinary body count ever since Phoenix was killed in the Uncanny X-Men. This body count has only been matched by its profitability, although frequency and nullifcation of earlier deaths ends up in the current state of mainstream comics. Off in the last comic of the 20th century, The Authority always end up saving the day, but millions die along the way.

But in general, life wins. Superman stops the planes that fall from the sky over Metropolis with alarming frequency. Batman saves who he can, depending on who sits in the editor’s chair, while the same back-seat writing also sees Wonder Woman turn into Wonder Warrior every now and again. Spider-Man is surrounded by death and he is sad about it for a while, but gets on with things the best he can, and that’s what life is all about. The Fantastic Four are off meeting new life forms and showing them how to drive fast, while the regular Captain America pounds the fuck out of the Nazis, but doesn’t kill them, leaving them with broken bones and a pitiful feeling of defeat.

However, if all comics were like this, it would get boring pretty fucking quickly. The precarious balance between light fluff and the sheer nastiness of death for the sake of it is maintained by another type of character, another archetype breaking the surface.

They are not always male, but they mostly are. They’re not always big, a huge physical presence often a bonus, but not needed. They come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, with all sorts of personalities and quirks. They do, however, have one thing in common.

If you fuck with them, they will kill you.

Sometimes there are second chances, more often there isn’t. You can beat these people down, but they’ll just keep getting back up and then they will kill you. If you insult them bad enough, they will kill you. There is honour, but if you fuck with them, they will fucking kill you.

It’s a character not confined to comics. They show up everywhere, in novels, movies and television shows. Clint’s Man With No Names pre-ordering the coffins, Bond’s cold assassinations, Jack Bauer coming back from the fucking dead to kill those dirty terrorists.

In the comic world, this character managed to stay out of the superhero section for the most part. After the superheroes had helped win WW2, the non-killing phase lasted for decades. However, by the seventies, the desperate attempts to create new superheroes that would match the Marvel explosion of the sixties and their DC counterparts 25 years earlier saw experiments that had all sorts of personalities grafted onto fairly traditional heroes. The tough guy in the team becomes the stone-cold killer, real guns with real bullets replacing the fist.

Frank Miller, the Toughest Man in Comics, has given the world some fine examples, and has adjusted the template slightly each time, often by making a female version, Elektra or deadly little Miho more than able to kill without a seconds hesitation or regret.

In the slightly more corporate world of mainstream superheros, two of the most successful, in financial terms more than artistic, appeared from the same company under different circumstances. The Punisher starting out teamed up with one of Spider-Man’s greatest villains - an old insane professor dressed in green latex - before gaining in popularity and even occasionally picking up a bit of depth along the way. Under the hands of Wein and Claremont, Wolverine started out as a shortarse Canadian with a crabby temper and morphed into a cold-hearted killer with an exceptionally strong sense of honour. In the PG Marvel Universe, he slaughters hundreds, with the full effect of those adamantinum claws on human flesh only examined relatively recently.

Both these characters sparked a horde of imitators, especially in Image comics, where superhero names were replaced with basic nouns and personalities ripped off wholesale, that Samauri code occasionally making a brief appearance, only to be overshadowed by some increasingly preposterous firearm. Even the Big Two jumped on the bandwagon, every second book at one time guest-starring Wolverine or the Punisher, the man who carries death in his pocket facing the expected diminishing returns as new writers take a crack, often fundamentally misunderstanding how the character works.

Granted, in the last 20 years, there have been some fine stories by self-proclaimed manly-men like Beau Smith and Chuck Dixon that fit this pattern, often using these Marvel characters or ones with a similar template. However, the finest to emerge in the last decade is a generally agreeable Irishman with a strong pacifistic streak.

Garth Ennis’ first stories in comics were a fairly restrained look at the Irish troubles and a far bloodier story about one teenager’s slight disillusionment with God that ends with him shooting his PE teacher in the face. But while still in his early 20s, Ennis got his hands on Judge Dredd, the most violent man in British comics, a man who has killed billions of people in the name of the law.

Ennis can now dismiss his early 2000ad work as clumsy and a little embarrassing, but his work does have validity, if only for his black sense of humour. His Dredd is a hard, hard man, and Ennis, with the help of Carlos Ezquerra, even managed to team him up with Johnny Alpha, the second most violent man in British comics. This led to the high point of Ennis’ early career, showing the two together, beaten but not broken on the very last page of the Judgement Day epic. Who the hell was going to mess with them?

When he inevitably made the leap across the Atlantic into the American market, Ennis took what he learned in the six-page narrative and applied it to a larger canvas. Many of his stories since have featured the stone-cold killer, from the hapless Kev, who managed to wipe out the Authority in three seconds while still being fairly unlikeable in every other respect, to Tommy Monaghan, who will destroy vampires because they just weren’t very nice, but let a deadly dinosaur go home because it wasn’t its fault some dickhead brought it to the 20th century.

Preacher may have taken 60+ issues to say that even a cowboy can cry and that you shouldn’t bloody hit women, but it also featured the Saint of Killers, the avenging soul elevated to godhood through sheer will and meanness. He spits on an attempt to wipe him off the face of the world with a nuclear weapon and ultimately rests upon the throne of God. While Ennis appeared to have reached the zenith of the archetype with this, he went further. There was more death, much more, to come in various series, until Marvel, in a rare display of sheer fucking brilliance, gave him The Punisher.

Sticking with the black humour for the first attempts of the character, Ennis has in recent years, turned Frank Castle into something else entirely. In the MAX series, and most notably in the Born mini-series and the Tyger, Cell and End one-shots, Ennis shows a man who has plunged so far into the world of dealing death that he becomes Death, walking the world and dealing it out as he sees fit. Luckily, Ennis also has a talent for creating truly reprehensible bad guys, people who deserve their fate because nothing else will stop them.

Often put down, this type of story, of somebody killing everybody who has done him wrong, is artistically valid. Often dismissed for genre trappings or excessive violence, it shares the artistic ghetto with Italian zombie films and pulp novels from the dawn of the 20th Century . But while the genre issue is only a problem if you want it to be, the amount of blood and gore and cruelty in these tales are necessary, racking up the intensity level while showing the seriousness of the situation, showing that things have gone too far.

Enjoying stories that see one person cut a swathe of destruction across the face of the universe is not a bad thing. It may be difficult to show that the inherent themes and subtexts of such tales are just as worthy as anything James Joyce shat out, but there is nothing to be embarrassed about here.

Unless you’re reading an early Image bloodfest. There really is no excuse for that.

Seven Soldiers Of Victory

2006-12-28T19:33:00.000-05:00

Action Over Reaction

In the glorious age of technological marvels, one of the oddest things about receiving comic books long after they are released is that you get to see the reaction to a work long before you get to read it yourself.

Usually, this isn't much of a problem, a little bit of self discipline can keep away the most obvious of spoilers and discussion of a specific comic can often be almost incomprehensible without actually reading it.

So when the final issue of Seven Soldiers came out a while back, it was easy enough to read the huge amount of criticism and analysis that inevitably followed on the internet. Comments about Aurakles and the New Gods were almost nonsensical without having read the issue in question, while the ultimate fate of many of the characters, including the death which was always breathlessly promised at the conclusion of each mini-series, were also surprisingly easy to avoid.

Unfortunately, the vast majority of online writing about the comic and the series as a whole quickly fell into two painfully predictable schools of thought. Obviously, there is always the odd notable exception such as the usual wonderful ramblings from the likes of Jog and Mark Singer, as well as Greg Burgas' current, commendable and almost courageous attempt at posting daily thoughts on every single issue in the project at Comics Should Be Good.

However, much of the discussion sadly soon settled into one of two patterns:

The first is one that Morrison must be incredibly familiar with, one that will always give him credit for his mad, wonderful ideas, but then remains certain that there is nothing more to it than that, usually resorting to the infuriatingly bland assertion that he is being weird for the sake of being weird.

That’s okay, a lot of people want their narratives simple and clean with no hint of anything like subtext or metaphor. But to simply say that Morrison’s work, and Seven Soldiers in particular, doesn’t make any sense is just wrong. There is a bit more substance in criticism that the sheer amount of material in each issue can sometimes overwhelm the story, but this, like everything else on Earth, is more than a little subjective.

Besides, anybody who doesn’t like Morrison’s work because of this is missing out on something wonderful. Shame.

The second pattern is much better, if not half as funny. The analytic approach always has its merits, but how much fun is it? Elaborate decoding of the text, reading a universe into each stray word balloon, a puzzle box just waiting to be open.

That’s all right for some, but you don’t have to decode the crossword in SS#1 if you don’t have to. It doesn’t matter who Aurakles is, you don’t need Wikipedia to get what Morrison is on about. Not if you don’t want to.

It all gets a bit dry, endless analysis, accounting for everything. All well and good, but what happens when you finally solve the puzzle? What then?
It’s no fun doing the same game twice, not until you forget how you solved it.

So what’s left?

Dry, hard facts: Seven Soldiers was a really big story composed of two bookends and seven four-issue limited series. It was written by Grant Morrison and drawn by a whole bunch of people. A lot of the readers liked some series, but didn’t enjoy others so much. Most of the time they gave good reasons for doing so.

The last issue was labelled #1, and was a bit late.

Is that it?

Fuck, no!

OPEN THE POD BAY DOORS, GRANT.

They keep telling us, we need to listen more. Modern media is saturated in it, from the Muppet fuckin’ Babies to the glory of Promethea: Imagination is the key. For everything.

So why not apply it to comics? Look at it this way: If you’ve got no imagination, that’s okay, there are 70 years worth of these four-colour adventures to fill the gaps in your head. Most of them are rubbish, but get them all and you’ll be happy. Just like you were when you solved that puzzle.

But it’s worth it to apply just a little effort. Don’t worry if your favourite sports team is playing the biggest game of the year this weekend, just for a moment. Put a little thought into it and you’re plugged in. It doesn’t matter if you miss an issue here or there, your brain will fill in the gaps. Chances are it will be more impressive than what actually happened. One day you’ll read that issue, and you’ll see for yourself.

Put it under the microscope and you’ve got Seven Soldiers. The first issue was the last and that wonderful geek consensus has it that it if you’ve read the whole mini-series, it’ll still be baffling and will take a long time to figure out. If you haven’t read the mini-series, any of them, than you’ll never understand what is going on.

Fuck that.

Ian Brill conducted a marvellous interview with Morrison for Newsarama, where the big fella made it quite clear why Seven Soldiers #1 was the perfect first issue, not just a high climax, but the place to start. He wanted to create that sensation you felt when you picked up your first comic and realised there was a huge, gigantic backstory.

Unless you were born more than fifty years ago, there has always been a Spider-Man. We are rapidly running out of people who were alive when Superman was first created. The only way to start right at the beginning with any of these comics is to belong to these groups, if they even care at that age what the Penguin’s first appearance in Batman was like.

Nearly all of us reading comics today had to start somewhere. Could have been anything. Picking up that Cockrum issue of X-Men with all those crazy aliens in the Imperial Guard, or trying X-Factor in the early nineties because you heard Peter David made it funny. The mythical jumping on point never fucking existed. There is always some backstory.

So bring on Seven Soldiers #1 as the starting point. Even better, give it to little kids. It will be a bit scary and scar them for life, but in a good way. Imprint this vast, colourful world on hungry, growing minds. Then give them an issue of the Frankenstein series when they turn seven. Biff, zam, POW!

Why not? Everybody has to start somewhere and we never really grow out of these sort of things. Nostalgia can be a bitch, choking the present under the weight of the past. But what if Seven Soldiers was your first comic?

Would you wonder who these odd heroes are, what they’re doing here? Imagination kicks in: The Manhattan Guardian is a World War Two soldier, who outlived all his peers on pure spite, while Klarion is off to rumble with Peter Pan. Why the fuck not?

The most obvious connection to all this is in the Zatanna series, where she breaks out of the comic page itself, with the gap between imagination and the reality on the page twisted beyond belief. She reaches out twice to the reader, it’s up to you to make the connection back. This is an old trick which Morrison has had a lot of fun with in the past, and fun is the name of the game!

LIFE AND DEAF

A short while back DC released a six-issue limited series called The Battle For Bludhaven. It was absolute rubbish.

Clumsy stapling of the superhero ideal onto modern politics, events happening for no reason other than they have to, absolutely nothing resembling an ending, a ham-fisted attempt to re-invent old characters for a new century using the same old clichés. The awful interpretation of Seven Soldier’s SHADE as just another black-ops government with no regard for innocent life is a bit much, but even that is not as bad as the relentless carnage.

When there is a pretty crass use of suicide bombers, it’s hard to tell if the fact the bombers are beautiful, scantily-clad girls who are willing to lay down their lives for some drug dealer makes it better or worse. The very first page of the mini-series sees the death of, at the very least, thousands of people, but the loss of these people is barely touched upon. There are no relatives trying to live with their grief, their deaths have almost no impact. Even worse, the Teen goddamn Titans, DC’s occasionally successful super-team composed of kid sidekicks, has a killer who strikes with no mercy working with them. Ravager puts her blade into the back of Lady Liberty (the second to to die in this series) without a thought.

Is this what passes for heroism in the new millennium? Characters like the Punisher have enjoyed huge popularity with their willingness to kill people, but what makes Frank Castle almost morally acceptable is that he only kills really, really bad guys. People who absolutely deserve their fate: murderers, hitmen, rapists, child pornographers, the world will never miss these people. Sad, but true.

But there is absolutely no indication that Ravager’s opponent has done anything worthy of dying in a ruined city like she did. In a somewhat disturbing turn of events in the last few years, death has become the ultimate marketing tool, with Dan DiDio in particular riding the vulgar train with a breathless promise of more death and destruction in the future.

But when it is used in such a clumsy and random way, where is the concern?

Where is the impact?

The most obvious impact is, sadly, in the sales figures. DC have seen a significant number of sales jumps in killing characters ever since the Death of Superman, an event which might have seen the big man return after a few issues on the slab, but had to move on to the death of millions in Coast City to give his return any impact, even if the immediate affects of such a significant tragedy were limited to Green Lantern going mental for a while.

Even a character like Ted Kord has its fans and while they piss and moan about his death kicking off the whole Infinite Crisis bollocks, they still brought the fucking issue it happened in.

Random, meaningless death might seem like the current plan for the DC Universe, but over in the Seven Soldiers corner, the very opposite is happening. Life is celebrated in every aspect of the series, and the death of any person has profound impact.

Would Sally Sonic have gone wrong if she hadn’t lost her parents, or even the King of Teddy Bears? Would Jake permanently take over the Guardian identity if Larry had not died?

And just when this celebration of life gets a bit cloying, there is Mister Miracle, transcending that shit to lift himself up out of the Life Game. He dies with a smile on his lips and is reborn as the Newest God of all. Just next door, Zatanna pushes herself past her own boundaries and gets her own glimpse behind the curtain. These people will never die, even Bulletteer will survive me. It really doesn’t get any cooler than that.

The celebration of life is a recurring theme in Morrison’s work and the aging fan boys glee at their childhood heroes killing their opponents is mocked in the JLA: Classified series that served as a prologue to Seven Soldiers. Superman says death is a simplistic solution that creates more problems than it solves and if you can’t trust Superman, who can you trust?

In SS #1, the Newsboy Army know they’ll beat the bad guy, somehow. There is no doubt there, from the sureties of youth to the wisdom of age, the winning answer is always there, death solves nothing, life wins out. It will always win.

They’re not called the Seven Soldiers of Victory for nuthin’.

PASS THE SAUCE

There is more to it than just that, of course. There always is.

The history of heroism, from the dawn of man to the death of the world, the importance of growing up and leaving childish things behind you, the plasticity of modern consumerism, the eternal dilemma of destiny versus free will, the importance of heritage combined with the shine of the new, bloody top hats and love and death and hate and all that.

So get comfortable and dip in. When you come back up for air, be grateful we live in this modern age where you don’t have to be alone with your thoughts on something. You can go online, follow up on the opinions of others, let them do the decoding if they want and use their own findings to enrich your own experience. It all melts together in the head, new observations mixing with the damned obvious. What difference does it make in the end.

Anyway, even if you just want to leave it all up to yourself, it’s all there in those 30 issues, there for the taking. Seven Soldiers was a really big story composed of two bookends and seven four-issue limited series. It was written by Grant Morrison and drawn by a whole bunch of people.

It was also really fucking good.

Stop.

2006-12-20T19:17:00.000-05:00

Creators, stop boasting about your comic selling out. Maybe they should have printed more of the fuckers in the first place.

Fans, stop complaining that your favourite comic book doesn't come out on time. Yeah, it's shit. But moaning about it won't bring them out any fucking faster.

Nobody cares how you would save comics. Saving is for misers. Stick your plans up your arse, they'll do more use there stopping the shit from leaking out.

No more saying that Grant Morrison is just being weird for weird's sake. Find a new fuckin' cliche. Besides, it's still more interesting than being dull for dullness' sake.

John Byrne: Get off the bloody Internet. You're not doing yourself any favours.

Mark Millar: You can stay, but curb your enthusiasm, mate. It just makes you look stupid.

Bendis: Yes, 70s Marvel was great. It is now the 21st century.

Reading a political subtext into every single funny book ever created is all well and good, but it ain't the only way to read 'em.

Getting excited about a forthcoming comic book because it promises to kill off a character isn't big or clever. It's just fucking morbid.

Super-heroes don't kill. They're smarter and better than that.

The Punisher isn't a super-hero. For that matter, neither is Judge Dredd.

Step AWAY from the caption box, Mr Loeb....

Whoever designs covers and writes solicitations for the big companies: What the fuck are you doing? Are you even trying to sell these books?

If you don't like the direction a comic is taking, don't moan about it on a blog or message board, just stop fucking buying it until you do like it again. So what if you've been buying the title for more than 30 years? That hole won't hurt you.

...

Boy, that feels much better! Merry Christmas everyone!

Joe Rice Media Review 12/13/06

2006-12-13T19:35:00.000-05:00

Ooooooh . . .it’s Wednesday the 13th! Spoooooky! Well-known for being a time of awful, horrible comics! And, while I’m sure there were hell-tons of them, I’m not going to review them. So if you see someone review something that came out this week and I didn’t review it, all you need to know is that that comic was bad and if the reviewer disagrees they smell.

I’ll start with the relative weak point in my stack, Fantastic Four: The End. It is, quite simply, a big “ender” superhero story. It doesn’t seem to be making any point other than “this part is cool . . .so is this . . .” etc. But it does this well. Alan Davis . . .he’s very skilled. He’s very good at what he does, but I must say I’m not exactly drawn to it. It’s a little too straight-forward for me, but he certainly doesn’t distract from the story. And this is the sort of thing he was born to draw. Large, epic battles; crazy sci-fi; larger-than-life personage; and, of course, my absolute favorite FF trope: stubbly Reed. Ever since the Kirby days, when the shit really hit the fan, Reed would stop shaving. Someone should collect an image from every artist that’s done this. I love stubbly Reed. It’s so on when he’s stubbly. The story here doesn’t make much sense, but it’s just a nice action flick, a blockbuster for your eyes.

Most comics these days might have one big twist you didn’t see coming. DMZ had two this issue. I don’t think it’s just because I’m functionally retarded, although I am. Christ, I just realized this is only the second part of this arc. Bryan Wood continues to write a compelling, real-feeling main character in an increasingly desperate situation. The parallels to real life are present, strong, but not preachy. And there’s some action thrown in for the teenage boys still out there. Oh, and sex. Burchielli officially went from (after having gone from tolerable to OK) OK to quite good this issue. The looseness of his line allows for an expressionism that doesn’t detract from the reality of the situation. Strong stuff with one hell of a cliffhanger.

How long do you think Vaughan had the idea for this month’s Ex Machina? The title reveal on the last page? Perfect. A great one-off issue exploring the background of Bradbury. Tony Harris can draw people talking and make it interesting. He can represent life without sacrificing an artistic voice. We learn only bits and pieces about the focus of the issue, but it’s more than enough. Just like that he becomes a real person. That’s good stuff.

Gotta say The Escapists was even better, though. It addressed one of the sneaking doubts I had about the book from the beginning. Sure, it was really well done. Sure, the idea was compelling. Sure it was the perfect mix of superhero and indie. But it wasn’t completely new. It was built upon the backs of others. The ending of this book may be a bit cheesy, but it’s so damn right that you don’t care. Screw the corporate comics that simply parasitcally drain the works of great creators. Start making something new. Pefect, perfect, perfect.

Not that it’s impossible to do great work on the back of someone else. Because I may have enjoyed the first issue of The Spirit even more. Cooke’s writing and art is so dang perfect here. He doesn’t try to imitate Eisner, he tries to do what he does as well as Eisner did what he did. The Spirit is charming, affable, fallible, but awesome. The supporting characters (even Ebony!) are spot-on. The plot works, works quickly, and never lets you down. The women are beautiful. The jokes are funny. The action is exciting. The villains are horrible. This, my friends, this is how you continue old superhero books. You don’t worry about years of who-did-what. You make a really great story and you draw it beautifully. Will this sell to the superhero nerds? I hope so, but they seem to run from this kind of quality like I run from leafy vegetables. However long we have it, it’s going to be a pleasure.

A great week for superheroes, folks. A great week for comics, too, actually. Go out and treat yourself. If you normally wouldn’t get one of these books, get the Spirit. And get the Escapists in trade. If you refuse, you’re more retarded than I am. And that’s really retarded.

Joe Rice Media Review 12/06/06

2006-12-06T21:56:00.000-05:00

Argh, what a bad day at school. Due mostly to three individuals. It's a sad day when people under the age of 13 can completely ruin your day. But good comics can redeem it. And there were some this week.

American Splendor had what might be its strongest issue under DC, at least artistically. 'Beto, Deano, Geary, and Fingerman headlined the issue. Some good, everyday stuff. Pekar's comics are somewhere between comfort food and art comics. They require a bit more thought than Superman hitting a rock, but they also feel so comfortable and real. The way this blog goes, I'm probably speaking to a hole here, but this is good comics.

I was less bothered by the coloring on The Other Side this issue. I dunno if it was that improved or I just had that much alcohol. But the Asian folk seemed less 1950s racist superhero comic and more naturalistic. Stewart's art is typically beautiful, and the two stories are aligning interestingly. Some great stuff. This would be a good book to buy your war-movie-fan friend/relative. Too bad there's no trade for Christmas or whatever excuse you use to give people stuff.

Cronin not liking Superman Confidential is almost as dumb as him letting me type on the blog again. It's finally that 40s repartee Lois done well with a side of Superman Byrne only dreamed of showing. The neophyte, unsure Superman done realistically but heroically. His ignorance of his limits isn't played brashly, but hesitantly, as most folks trying to figure out "Well, just how invulnerable am I?" would be. (Thanks to Lisa for the spelling help for boozed-up Joe there.) Nice, cartoonish art that goes a long way to telling the story and the mood. I may become a Sale fan yet, now that he's not working with Liefeld's writer.

I'm glad that Salvador Larroca seems to have gotten over his X-Men/Claremon boob + butt phase. And Ellis seems to be writing a possibly interesting story for newuniversal. But (and, yes, this is not technical) OH MY GOD I DO NOT CARE. You know what's boring and lamely-written? That show "Heroes." You know what's better written but no more interesting? YET ANOTHER COMIC BOOK ABOUT REAL FOLKS GETTING SUPERPOWERS. Christ in Heaven. I know that superbooks sell, but can we put a moratorium on superbooks that aren't frakkin brilliant for a few decades? This might even end up being good, but I'm so tired of this idea that I can't even give it a chance. You want to write about real folks, do it. Screw the superpowers and the twists on archetypes. Write something real. That's not really the point for this, I know. And this is good, for what it is. But screw it. Spend your money on the Huizenga collection or something else that's truly great.

Agents of Atlas dealt with the "evil within" subplot very succintly and originally, I feel. This is still a very good, pulpy book. I know I just yelled about the plethora of crap superbooks out there, but that doesn't mean there aren't worthwhile ones out there. One of the most appealing parts of this book is the fact that it's going to end. It will be a story and not just a marketing device. The characters are interesting and varied, the story is moving somewhere neat, and it's just a kick to read. I dunno what the nerds are doing for this sales-wise, but I'm enjoying it.

And some superhero books are just really good superhero books. Doctor Strange: The Oath is one. The Martin art is frakkin gorgeous. I kissed it a few times, especially when the Dr.'s being all flirty. Some good twists, and an antagonistic organization that seems really evil but also seems natural for the setting. Kung fu Wong is also pretty great. What's up with the great sideline Strange books this past couple of years? Milligan and Vaughn? Meanwhile Spider-man is stuck with PAD and the legions of Civil War tie-ins. Still, good comics are good comics, and this certainly is one.

You know something that makes Chris Sprouse awesome? In Midnighter, he draws a young Hitler and it looks like a young Hitler. I'm sorry, Jeffrey from Project Runway, but that is mad skills. The story takes unexpected twists and remains fun but interesting the whole way. I feel like Ennis found the happy medium between "Important Ennis" and "outlined on bar napkins" Ennis here. It's good fun. Involving killing Hitler.

Can't wait to read the Showcase: Shazam, AKA, the last time DC did a Captain Marvel that at all understood the appeal of the character. Sunny Sparkles is like a Chris Ware character sans irony. I'm going to cut this review bit short so I can dive in.

As for other media, Casino Royale is challenging Goldfinger and On Her Majesty's Secret Service as my favorite Bond film. The direction is crisp, the acting is strong and tight all around, and it seems to actually mean something. Daniel Craig is great as Bond, and his wardrobe gives me crazy envy. That short-sleeved linen shirt with the grey suit when he goes to the Bahamas? The fashion nerd in me went NUTS.

"Put Your Quarter Up" is an amazing song. You've got the Molemen, Slug, Aesop Rock, and frakkin MF Doom rapping, mostly about video games. You get a line rhyming Slobodan and Robotron? Yeah. Download that stuff immediately. Thank you, itunes.

And it's time for a confession. I mostly admit to only watching very few TV shows. There's the Office and Battlestar Galactica, the two best-written shows on TV for my money. Cosby and Andy Griffith re-runs. Daily Show and Colbert when I can. And a bunch of awful crap my wife watches. But I now must publically admit I like one of those shows. I like Grey's Anatomy. Mind you, I hate Grey, and I hate every plot she's in. But the rest of the cast is damn TIGHT. It's a soap that I actually got into, and I'm not (as) ashamed anymore. I just wish it was more Karev's Anatomy instead. That's a damn interesting character.

Enjoy your week.

Big Fat Rocketship Party

2006-12-02T09:51:00.000-05:00

So the Big Fat Little Lit party was at Rocketship last night. It was a really good time. The guests were all pleasant, talkative, and, of course, fun. And the book itself I recommend quite highly to anyone from 5 to 105 (except for people that are 76, they won't like it). Anyway, you want to see photos.

The backyard is slowly being turned into a gallery. Ms. Kelly, AWOL, and AWOLette strike a suitable gallery pose.

Sitting with the girls, pre-party.

Folks started to arrive early, despite TORRENTIAL DOWNPOURS.

Mr. David Mazzucchelli.

Funibashis and my tongue.

Children frolicked.

Grown-ass men frolicked.

Ms. Francoise Mouly (w/ T'challa)

From r-l: Ms. Kelly, Ms. Li'l Sis, and Boy Reeling in Pain

Li'l sister! That's not me!

Mr. Art Spiegelman signing for a student of mine's Christmas present.

Li'l Sister decided there weren't enough pictures with her in it last time. Here she is with Mary.

Mini-comic for mini-person.

Examining the work.

Mr. Dean Haspiel talks with Mr. Spiegelman.

Mary after eating a big bowl of sassafrass.

I was sad to go, but Dino consoled me.

Joe Rice Media Review 11/29/06

2006-11-29T20:43:00.000-05:00

I bet you wish you had a job that you could start and then the very next time you're supposed to do it, you don't. It was Thanksgiving, man. My wife and her sister were running around the kitchen for, like two days straight. Though I knew I was useless until mashed-potatoes-making-time, sitting in a room typing about comic books could very easily have lead to pain for me. So you people had to wait a week. Stop crying. Now you get two weeks' worth of comics reviews. I even picked up a couple of things I normally wouldn't just to give you MORE. I think of you.

One of those things was Immortal Iron Fist. I'm a sucker for good kung-fu movies, but has anyone done really good kung fu comics outside of Kagan? Shang Hi doesn't count, it was a straight action thing with kung fu for flavor. I have to say I liked the prelude art better than the Aja art . . .which was nice, but just not AS good. The kung fu action didn't work here. The intrigue didn't really intrigue me. Oddly, afterward subplot about the early 20th century Iron Fist was also more interesting. Basically, the focus of the book and modern time stuff just didn't work for me. It's not bad by any means, really. I'd just rather either watch a good kung fu flick or read a better comic.

Jesus, Garth Ennis! I know that The Punisher is often unpredictable, but there wasn't much at all that went like I thought it would in this issue. Fine, fine pulp writing with some actual emotional content and some larger meaning as well. Punisher comics are still very good.

Unless they're not written by Garth Ennis. Punisher War Journal? I couldn't get through it. The art was stiff and weird (I thought I remembered liking Olivetti at some time in the past, but maybe not). I'm not opposed completly to the idea of this book, I just think the execution is pretty horribly lacking. I don't believe it at all. Bad action movie quips, silly bits, I dunno. I'm sure this will please the dorks that whine that Ennis' Punisher isn't about superheroes. This was the worst book I read this week. I regret the time spent trying to finish it.

Not that Garth Ennis can do no wrong. 7 Brothers went from being "possibly interesting premise" to "OK, I'm done with this." I guess it might make a good b movie but it's just not worth its space on a comic shelf. Too much stuff out there's better.

Someone said Grant Morrison wrote this issue of 52 by himself. This is like the third time I convinced myself to buy the damn thing. There were two good pages in the entire thing. The Ten-Eyed Men stuff was amazing and practically a blink of the comic. Jesus, what a dull, plodding thing 52 is. Why the hell are we supposed to care about any of it? Are we? Or are "we" just collecting it?

Darwyn Cooke? Yay! Jeph Loeb? Uhhhh . . .tough one. Well, Batman/The Spirit is no Cooke masterpiece, but it's pretty and it's fun. I'm sure Cooke's solo Spirit work will be better, but this was a fun little adventure. I especially like Cooke's Joker for some reason.

Wow, so far one good and one OK comic and some losers. The things I read for you people. You should pay me reparations for my eyes having to look at Punisher War Journal. Did you know I was at the dentist today? Getting a root canal started? This is dedication.

Fortunately Nextwave: Agents of H.A.T.E. was pure pleasure. A fun and funny Marvel superhero comic with Paul Pope, Dan Clowes, and Mike Mignola pastiches? Really, really good ones? (By the way, what was the Captain Universe one? Can't figure it out.) Hot damn. Those bits made me giggle with happiness. The Captain Marvel one is better than any Captain Marvel comic book that Marvel has ever put out. (Or DC since the seventies.) And the action/straight bits? Frakkin exciting. This is fun comics.

Runaways, too. How often can you say that you really, really don't know what's going to happen next? I actually don't know if Chase is going to do it! Good to have Alphona back. What a development over the course of this book. Oh, a 6th grade girl at my school has gotten obsessed with the manga-sized collections. She comes up to me and talks about how Lucy in the Sky is her favorite, and (she's on book 2) how shocked she was that Alex was so mad about the vampire boy when he pushed her away, etc. So cute. Great book, and it that's just a testament to that.

Now to the meat of my comics-buying this week. These three were what really excited me today, and I, of course, left then until last. First off, Angry Youth Comix. I love you Johnny Ryan. I love you and your holocaust juice and your breast cancer odd couple and your Ku Klux Klan corpse jet. I'd love to see his creative process. Is it spur-of-the-moment vulgarity or is it crafted? Either way it's pure awful hilarity. I kiss it now.

It's been a while since the last Big Questions so it took me a second to remember what was going on exactly, but once I did the love washed over me again. The deceptively simple illustrations and script create a comfortable, homey next for your brain to wander around in. This simultaneously makes the disturbing bits palatable and more disturbing. Simple conversations mean much more. Anders Nilson is really making something here and it's awesome to see it happen.

YAY! New Acme Novelty Library! Comics' current great formalist continues his new epic. I could go on and on about his formal work and how frickin AMAZING it is here, but Ware here actually exposes more emotion than he'd have you believe. In Chalky White and his sister we may have his first completely sympathetic characters. Of course, Rusty himself is just a magnificent train wreck filled with pains so familiar you can't help but appreciate it. It's not fair to call this the comic of the week, as it's just working on a higher level than anything else. Brad, I love you to death, but to say that Casanova is a comic you must read or you hate comics is like saying rubbing your own tummy is the king of orgasms. I'm sure Casanova's fine for what it is, but this, this this . . .I lose words. It's the sort of comic I almost have to get a little buzz on before I can really wax about its pleasures. That looseness of tongue, the breaking down of the barriers of communication. It's too big for me to talk about otherwise. Anyway, buy it, you saps. It's worth the sacrifice of six stupid Moon Knights or whatever. Do it.

Joe Rice Media Review 11/15/06

2006-11-15T20:27:00.000-05:00

Hey. Weird to be back. I bought some comic books. Most of them were good. In the next paragraphs I will attempt to describe why they were or were not good. I will also attempt to do so better than the other lame-asses at this blog. I mean, seriously, Cronin. What were you thinking? I know the loss of me, Alex, Teel, and the Grammar Police was tough on you. But, really? These guys? It's like Mayberry RFD, or, more topically, the Detroit League. Here's hoping I can class this place up a bit again.

Ultimate Fantastic Four is, for once, good. Instead of issues dedicated to extrapolations of one panel of Lee and Kirby's work, we get actual OK LET'S GO FULL FORCE storytelling. The Ferry art helps. I think I missed an issue somehow . . .in fact I'm rather certain of it. But this is good writing so it doesn't matter (other than a pang of regret for missing what was most likely another good issue). Carey comes out and admits that Thanos is nothing but a crappy Darkseid rip, but, in doing so, frees him to be an INTERESTING Darkseid rip. It's really tough doing Kirby work. Kirby was a creator, not a revamper. So revisiting his work usually seems false. That isn't what he'd do, after all. You've got books out there like Godland that just make you wish that the real Kirby was doing something more interesting. But this story and Morrison's Seven Soldiers finally seem to be taking the torch from the King and doing more than a measly tribute. Good stuff.

A Paul Pope cover is enough to get me to buy most things, including, Joe Rice Is Stupid And Ugly (forthcoming from Peter David and Ethan Van Scriver). But on a great comics like The Escapists? With a Wolfmother allusion? DING DING DING! Vaughn's story continues to really interestingly straddle the divide between indie comics, superhero comics, and even romance comics, taking the best from each and somehow making the bizarre hybrid work. And work really well. Comics-within-comics usually suck even more than most comics do. But the damnedest thing I realized reading this: I not only care about the actual characters of this book, but I care about the fictional characters they're writing and drawing. Outstanding. That last page? Ugh! It hurts! Good stuff.

Sometimes I think to myself, Hey, extremely handsome, charming guy, remember how great Jack Staff was? And then I'll reply, Yeah, it was pretty awesome--just like your ass. Then I'll go on, Maybe the new color version isn't as good . . .sometimes I put off reading it. And just as I'm about to agree with myself the comic comes out and is all, "Shut up, you nitwit! I frakkin ROCK!" And it's right. Where else do you see Alan Moore eating a demon and getting high off it? Where else do Nazi superheroes get bittersweet respect? Where else is Paul damn Grist working these days? Remember how great it was in the black and white days? It's just as good--maybe better.

For some reason, I got White Tiger. I guess I wondered what this supposed great children's author would do. Well, she's not Lemony Snicket, so I'm not exactly familiar with her work. But if it's anything like this, I won't be reading it to any of my students. Jesus Christ, what a lame comic. OK, you've got this Latina former FBI agent who inherits her uncles magic kung fu medallions. She's fighting a Cobra dude, some Yakuza and Russian mafia. And she's got a pretty good costume. This should be easy. It isn't. We get forced jokes, a photo-realistic tribute to one of Manhattan's crappier diners, uninteresting flashbacks, and I'm really left wondering who this book is written for. It isn't for Pierce's audience or for "fresh female readers" as its too drenched in nerd puzzle pieces. It isn't for superhero nerds (other than completists) because it's doing nothing that a hundred other crappy superhero books haven't done. It's a nice David Mack cover, yeah . . .but everything else from the hum-drum beginning to the weird appearance of Spider-man just reeks with "second-rate hackery." That three dollars could have fed some homeless dude, or at least helped him buy some hooch.

I also got the first Popeye trade from Fantagraphics. God, it's beautiful. When corporate comics are dominated by utter hack artists (check out crossovers and 52s and miniseries and just about anything not drawn by Frank Quitely for examples), it's almost painful to look at how EASY it can be to be great. Segar frakking KILLED. Can't wait to get into this.

I'd like to conclude this re-introductory edition of the Joe Rice Media Review with a letter.

Dear Absolute New Frontier,

Baby, have I told you how beautiful you are? I mean, I know I have. I know a lot of people have. But I want to say it again. You're beautiful. God, you really are. When I hold you in my arms, I know parts of me that are asleep without you. You make me forget the troubles of my day . . .or, even better, enjoy them. You remind me what life is really about. I love you baby. I love you so much. Tonight, I'm going to cover the bed with rose petals--I know you like rose petals. I'm going to rub some oil on your beautiful casing. I'll rub it in deep, baby. Maybe I'll nibble at your corners. I know you like that. I do, too. We'll lay there together, exploring each other as only two in love can. I'll kiss you. I'll make gentle, caring love to you. You'll tweak my anus a bit. Just a bit. It will be beautiful, baby. But not as beautiful as you are. I love you. Come to me.

Yours,

Joe Rice

Cookies, Ice Cream, Girls and Comics

2006-11-12T18:43:00.000-05:00

Who says kids, women, and any combination thereof don't read comics? I'll tell you who: liars and fools. Don't be either one! Check out the latest Rocketship Party with Raina Telgemeier and Abby Denson!

Just TRY and deal with this cuteness.

Joe Rice Media Review 11/9/06

2006-11-09T17:13:00.000-05:00

Couple weeks' worth of comics, and some damn fine stuff in there. Gotta meet the old lady in a bit and I feel like I'm coming down with something. So forgive me if I'm brief. Or if I ramble. We'll see what the Emergen-C/Airborne combo cocktail does to me.

I think I missed an issue of Apocalypse Nerd. Not much made sense this issue, and that doesn't feel like Bagge. Dunno if that was the reason, but I didn't enjoy it at all. I'd much rather have more Hate.

I swear to almighty Kirby and Shulz, if you're not doing everything you can do to get your hands on Mouse Guard immediately, then you hate comics and should go read the backs of baseball cards or something. The penultimate issue frakkin ROCKED. Full of action and adventure, and the old-style book-thing in the middle was awesome. These are the baddest mice ever. You folks ARE reading this, right? It's not even indie snob stuff for you to hate. It's frakkin beauty.

Local had a nice one-off story. It's about Megan's younger male cousin in Arizona. You learn a lot about him with very little said . . .it's pretty impressive character work. Especially as he's hardly a cardboard cutout. Three dimensions in one issue. Makes it all look easy. Even though I'd be annoyed by the kid in real life, the book made me feel for him. That's even more impressive, as I hate all children.

I have a gripe about Other Side. If you're (Dave McCraig in specific) going to go for a semi-realistic, washed color scheme, then why can't we have Vietnamese people that don't look (coloring-wise) like the damn Yellow Claw in a 50s book? It was honestly distracting from the beautiful Cameron Stewart art. Anyway, always a sucker for a good war story, and this one's got more to say than most. And that art! Woo. Just fix the coloring guys.

The excitement of a good heist movie is pretty tricky to pull off. Most heist movies blow. And translating it to another medium is even harder. The pacing, the beats, they have to work just so. But Ed Brubaker is doing it in Criminal. This might be his tightest work since Sleeper. It's always a pleasure to see a creator work on something that's very clearly "his." Good character moments, and the unsurprising double-cross was handled surprisingly, which is nice. Good comics.

I never want to know how much X-Men outsells American Splendor. It is the number of stupid. One book with Pekar writing and illustrated by Dean, Ty the Guy, Rick Geary and more. Goddam is it good reading, too. Satisfying shorts, interesting thoughts, good commentary, and, yes, as the cover blurb from Publisher's Weekly says, Pekar finding "exceptional in the everyday" in a very mature way. Are any of you internet folks buying this? Sigh.

Alex put Stan Lee Meets Doctor Strange with my books and it was cute, I guess.

I wasn't expecting much out of Fantastic Four: The End. None of the End books have been very interesting outside of The Punisher. And although there's no doubt Davis is an amazing artist, I've just never cared about his work all that much. See, it's good even though I don't like it. But this was interesting. It's way-out sci-fi FF, which is how they work best. With this and the Godwar stuff in Ultimate FF (have I missed an issue of that?) it's a good FF time.

January's employer in Ex Machina shouldn't have been as surprising to me as it was. But it worked very well. The pot threads and the firefighter threads come together nicely in a book full of people, rather than the types that fill most rags with superpowers. And, boy, does Tony Harris keep getting better. Wow.

Agents of Atlas is a fun book. I think we've solidly established that. This issue was a bit less so, but still a great adventure book. Servicable, clear art and a fast-paced story full of fun and ideas. The craft of comic making is taken seriously, even when the subjects aren't so much. I like.

I've never been a Tim Sale admirer. Er, of his work, I mean. But I do love me some Darwyn Cooke. I dunno if it was this pairing or what, but I really enjoyed Superman Confidential. And who cares about continuity when you get a good story? Danger, nice character work, new ideas, and a thankfully unByrned Clark Kent. It hits all the bases and makes me want more. Now there's two good Superman books.

Where's Chris Sprouse been? I loved him on the Bierbaums Legionaires. He was amazing on Tom Strong. And he's been poofed for a while. But lo and behold, we get him AND Ennis on a kickass Midnighter book. It hits some beats you expect it to, and then some more you don't. It's super-violent, but it feels right. And that last page is a helluva twist. (Clearly, sensitive nerds, Ennis doesn't hate superheroes, he just hates terrible writing.)

Tales Designed to Thrizzle is a masterpiece on every page. If you don't agree you're stupid. Sorry. Next time don't be retarded.

whew gasp gasp that was last week gasp gasp moving on gasp gasp

I got Bullet Points. Mostly for the Edwards art. The old nerd in me likes what-if stories like this. It's kinda cool. The art isn't as good as Edwards' Question. Not yet, at least. Fun to see Parker as a delinquint. I dunno. It's OK.

DMZ took more turns I didn't expect. God bless you Brian Wood. Every time I think I have this book figured out, I don't. Matt goes undercover working for a company, Trustwell, contracted to rebuild parts of Manhattan. Terrorists, corruption, and even some boobies for the dopes among us. Good stuff. Getting used to Burchielli's work slowly but surely.

Speaking of unexpected twists, Eternals had a few. And I liked them. Romita's art is beautiful, of course, and Gaiman's having good fun here. Honestly, I can enjoy this more than a lot of his Sandman, even though the latter is clearly better. Some twists on the mythology here and I'm excited for the end. Got no idea how it's going to go and who exactly is in the right here.

Wonderful art, witty writing, a cracking story . . .Vaughn's Dr. Strange is top notch. Everyone gets great moments. Everyone gets to be a person (again, Vaughn's good at that). There's no reason anyone can give me that they're not buying this book. Is there?

I got Stormwatch for the Mahnke art. I won't be getting it again. A cliched "get a team together" issue with a few nice moments, but not enough to drown out the sheer averageness of the rest. A great big "eh" is a horrible sign.

You always know that Ennis' Punisher is going to pull it off in the end, but the beauty is in the telling. That's why I never get the upset-over-spoilers thing. You KNOW what's going to happen. The what is never important. The how is. The craft, the art of the storytelling. That's why I read. Not the silly plot details. Interchangable. It's the telling. And Ennis is telling it well.

Goddam you Grant Morrison. I can't deal with this rollercoaster of your Batman run. I love an issue and "eh" an issue. Back and forth. This was a great one. Maybe it's like Star Trek movies, only the even numbers are good. I read somewhere that the fill-ins start next issue. I'll be gone for those, I believe. But this was a hell of a capper for the first arc. I know more is coming, and I can't wait. (Ooops, just saw that it's a guest artist, not writer. That's extremely welcome.) This still isn't Seven Soldiers good, but it's fun superhero comics. Very fun. SO CONFOUNDING!

Readings of Seven Soldiers #1

2006-10-27T07:53:00.000-05:00

I'm gonna use this post as an editable, updatable compilation of links to various readings of Grant Morrison's latest major work. I may even have a thought or two of my own eventually.

An interesting take from Comic Book Resources' forums.

Jog's initial mini-review. UPDATE!!! His more in-depth review.

Patrick's Thoughts on Seven Soldiers.

Marc Singer masters the beast that is Seven Soldiers.

Joe Rice Media Review 10/26/06

2006-10-26T15:43:00.000-05:00

Comics comics comics comics! They are great when they are great. Sometimes they are. Other times they are not. It is a secret mystery how to tell! I will let you know the mystery sometime but not now! Because it is my secret.

I bought five comic books this week. Four of them were in some way good. One of them was not. Which one was not? New Avengers. I stopped buying this one a few issues back because, well, it was better than superhero comics usually are, but it wasn't good enough to spend money on. I bought this one because Ferry was drawing it and he is awesome. So how do they use this incredibly dynamic artist? Well, a short battle, yes, but LOTS OF TALKING! THERE IS A DINNER! PEOPLE SAY THINGS! INTIMATIONS ARE MADE! I don't mind talky-comics when it's called for, really. But using Pascual Ferry for talky comics is like using me for an ugliness model: we're just not good at it.

Daredevil was interesting. And I mean interesting both in that, yes, the story was interesting, but reading it was interesting in another way. You basically have a very pulpy "man searching for woman he barely knows in an unknown land" story but the guy is wearing red tights. It looks silly sometimes, and not in a way that's trying to look silly. It's no fault of the writer or the artist, who both are doing great work. It's just . . .in certain environments, guys in red bodysuits look silly. Tombstone was effective for what I must assume is the first time ever. Good book . . .just kind of standing on the border of how far a tights book can go.

Speaking of tights and borders, let's talk The Boys. It can be frustrating. There are always the kind of moments Ennis-haters use to talk shit in each issue, and even when they're well done (as in the "CHANGE!" scene and its implications) you almost feel like "stop giving them ammo, Garth!" And sometimes they're just not working, like the scene with Butcher and whassername. But there are also great, great, really working scenes in this . . .Homelander's confrontation with A-Train, and Hughie's blow-up at Butcher even moreso. Hughie is the integral part that will make or break the greatness of this book. He'll either be a pseudo-everyman like Kev or a true outsider "What the f*ck?" guy that this story needs. I'm still hoping for the latter and this issue points towards it.

Nextwave was a good issue. The last page, perhaps labored and late, was well-deserved. I'm actually glad this series has a known endpoint. I wish more did. Future minis will be very welcome. Beginnings and endings, what concepts.

Seven Soldiers. I think he did it. I think he pulled it off. It's hard to tell. This deserves re-readings, both just for this book and for the mega-series as a whole. Williams deserves laud and honor. But don't let his technical brilliance overshadow Morrison's, and don't let either's overshadow the goddam great work this was. It works "on multiple levels" as the cliche goes. Honestly I want more of everything. But how could any of this be used by anyone but Morrison? He's got faith in the DCU. But I don't. Klarion's set to appear in Robin. Can that possibly go well? I dunno. Here's hoping Grant's spell works. He's talking to Zor in this issue, but he's also talking to us, and he's also talking to the DCU I think. Many hands, many creators, but remade. Let's make it work this time.

Joe Rice Media Review 10/18/06

2006-10-18T19:06:00.000-05:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Didn't have time to write one of these in a while. I am very sorry. DO NOT HATE ME THOUGH! Because I write again now! I didn't get a whole lot of comics today, but by damn were most of them really good. Oh, hey, there's last week's comics. Might as well write them up, too!

I was not a regular reader of Dorkin its heyday. Eastern Kentucky was crap for carrying any comics without guys in tights hitting each other. So I think the latest issue may be my first. But it's certainly not my last. It's a gag-filled issue with actual humor found. It's got some "adult" content (less than Angry Youth, of course) but it's well worth most folks' three bucks. Very funny.

I got Pirates of Coney Island because I thought it might be a fun local-ish book. Oh, man. This was horrible. If there's anyone still out there that thinks I hate all superhero books and love everything else, let this book be an example. Completely terrible. The art is like, "What if Jaime Hewlett, instead of being awesome, really was awful! And couldn't tell a coherent story!" We have tired punk rock cliches stabbing each other's eyes out, spider-kissing, a scary death car, and BOY DO I NOT CARE. Avoid, folks.

If you want a comic set in a recognizable New York, make it DMZ. Odd that a comic set in a near-future American civil war in which Manhattan is a, well, DMZ, would be so much more recognizable than most comics that pretend to really know what NY is about. It's the feeling of the place and its inhabitants that Wood knows so well. This issue also features art/design by Mr. Wood and it's off the charts. Really, really recommended as the main character's news pieces and notes about Manhattan are displayed. Comments on past issues and perhaps future developments abound.

I knew something bad had to happen in The Escapists. It couldn't just be lollipops and awesome writing. But the "bad thing" feels real, feels legitimately threatening, and makes for some good reading. The characters' relationships also move in real/interesting ways that you wouldn't necessarily predict. Some of the jokes are a little to "in" for me, but I guess they'd kind of have to be. Very good mix of the super and the real in comics.

The Punisher is really good comics.

I almost forgot about 7 Brothers. John Woo's concept, Garth Ennis writing, beautiful cover, nice art inside . . .and it's interesting. Supposedly Chinese explorers secretly traversed the world six hundred years ago or so. I'm guessing the seven men of various racial backgrounds gathered by crazy kung-fu girl are descendents of explorer-bastards. They all seem to have a power, but more in the "7 Chinese Brother" style than Superman and company. It's a great set-up and I'm interested.

I got this week's 52 for the Bulleteer and Ambush Bug bits. They're pretty small. This book is pretty stupid and packed to the gills with poorly-defined characters who do weird things slowly. I guess the Bug was pretty funny. eh.

Runaways. .a great cross between a nice wrap-up and creepy possible forshadowing. God, this is really good young superhero comics. Gonna see if some of the kids at school can get into this. You all know it's good, though, right? That it's the comics that people seem to think Teen Titans or the X-Men were. Finally fully realized, here they are. And they're worth the wait.

I'm glad GI Joe Declassified is over so I can stop buying it and not enjoying it.

This week Grant Morrison's two relaunched Wildstorm titles hit the stands. ("Hit the stands" is a stupid phrase. I hate myself.) Interviews and early talk made them sound uncharacteristic for recent Morrison: Authority as "superheroes in the real world" and Wildcats as "adult superheroes." I was weary. And Jim Lee on the Wildcats art made me a bit wearier. Stupid me. I should have realized that, with Morrison, the phrase to add onto the quoted bits there was "done right." And those ideas aren't subtext, they are the text of the book. Its all there in the Wildcats dialogue: "But all these widescreen battles and public displays of stupidity: it's vulgar and frightening. Adolescent. How would truly adult superheroes behave?" I look forward to this. Yes, there's sex and violence, but they don't read as gratuitous. And they don't class with the villains and the action and the heroics. It's an interesting concept that's been done wrong a million times. How to age the superhero past adolescence. It's a ride I'm interested in.

The Authorty also seems to literally be taking the "superheroes in the real world" idea. The issue is about a government agent looking into a downed sub and, well, SPOILER, finding the Authority's carrier in the ocean. By all accounts, the world is basically our own, not a superhero universe one. The excitement comes from the muted tones and realistic Ha art being soon challenged by this larger-than-life four-color characters. It's the kind of story I'd trust to few writers. Morrison is one of them. Show 'em, Grant. Show those hacks what "adult" and "real world" really mean.

Brians Galore!

2006-10-14T07:01:00.000-05:00

Rocketship had another great party Friday. Brians Wood and K. Vaughn came by, lots of folks came by, lots of boozes were imbibed, and lots of comics were appreciated. Enjoy the photos!

Even the military wanted in:

Big line for Brian

Big line for Brian K.

A new fan

The Dungeon/The Beerhole

Author and sister

"The Cover of Vice" or "It Needed Grafitti"

Who's this handsome fella?

Mary and her hero

The Fightin' Funibashis

Alex Cox and Paul Levitz

Everyone loves peeing!

Awwww

He's SOOO good lookin!

It was great, really. Huge turnout, great folks in the crowd . . .good seeing the bloggers that made it out. Good meeting you, Alex (why you'd still read this blog is beyond me but thanks!), good time everyone!

Sort It Out

2006-10-09T22:04:00.000-05:00

There is a bit in both the film and book versions of High Fidelity where the main character, deep in the pit of despair, puts it all out of his mind by sitting down and organising his records into the order in which he bought them.

High Fidelity has literally dozens of little bits that are easy to relate to, from the sheer depression of being dumped through to the hideous banalities of working in retail, but this bit where an entire record collection is reorganised was the most recognisable to me. I knew exactly how he felt.

Not with a music collection though. Even with a few hundred albums, it doesn’t take long to put them into whatever nice, neat order that feels necessary. But when you’ve got thousands and thousands of different comics, getting lost in the organization of them can, as sad as it sounds, be sheer bliss.

Every serious comic book collector has their own way of storing their books. Some are carefully packaged in protective covers before being lovingly filed away, others toss them in a cupboard. Sticking them in bloody big piles in a spare room has always done all right for me. No bags, no boards. They won’t last as long, but I’ll read the hell out of them before they fall apart in my hands.

But one thing almost all comic collectors do have in common is the ability to file individual comics in such a way we can find them again with relatively ease. When you’re dealing with thousands of individual comic books, there can be a tiny thrill in having a huge pile of random comics, but if you actually want to ever read a complete story that spreads over several issues, you’ve got to have some sort of system.

The thing is, each collector has their own individual and idiosyncratic system. Putting all your Batman comics in the same box or pile makes sense, but how is each individual title stored for easy access within that? Should they go in alphabetical order? Numerical? The biggest lot at the bottom?

I know it sounds stupid, but over the years I’ve been storing comic books I’ve had a system evolve that takes all these things into account. And it’s a system that is absolutely impossible to explain to anybody else, but makes perfect sense to me.

Limited series are sorted by how long the series ran for. Eighties superhero comics printed on that lovely Baxter paper are kept separate from those that were printed on boring old newsprint. All of Alan Moore’s various comics for various publishers are in the same pile, except for the Swamp Things that are stored with the Vertigo books.

The more I talk about this, the stupider it sounds, but the point is, it all makes perfect sense to me. If I have a sudden urge to read the issues I’ve got of the Nightcrawler mini series that Dave Cockrum did, I know exactly where it is: right before Bob Layton’s first Hercules series. But not after it. I never found the last issue of that Nightcrawler series, but have all the Herculeses. The incomplete comes before the complete.

Comics are often held up by their fans as the one of the best examples of escapism you find it modern media, but I really do think it isn’t just the stories themselves that take you mind away from mundane reality.

Sometimes you can just sit down amongst a big pile of random comics, forget all your troubles and just sort that shit out.

Bliss.

Joe Rice Media Review 9/28/06

2006-09-28T20:53:00.000-05:00

First off, I just started Satsuma Gishiden, but it's so far frickin' awesome. It's a dirty, grimy, gory samurai manga. It opens with a convict being torn to pieces by samurai as part of a game to take his liver. That right there's enough to tell you if you'd like this 70s bloodsterpiece. So far I obviously do.

I also tried Silent Ghost, which seems to be another old-school kung fu epic, but I couldn't finish it. The art was sketchy, that I don't mind. But the coloring was so weird and muddy that the combination of the two (added to very wordy dialogue) made it a chore to get through. So I didn't.

Daredevil was good and kickass and perhaps the only time a matador has been threatening to anyone other than a PETA member. Uhh, that metaphor didn't work. I'm tired and not on my game tonight, folks. But Brubaker's on his game, Lark's on his game, and we get a Matt Murdock as James Bond kinda riff here with some interesting stuff going on behind the scenes. Also, very glad that Michael Murdock was a red herring. Good comics.

Eternals sported a twist I should have seen coming but didn't. This is fun adventure comics, a decent b-movie that you'd rent and not feel bad about. The art, however, is just beautiful. If I seem underwhelmed, I'm not, really. I look forward to this book. I'm just too tired to be too enthusiastic, I think.

I'll be honest, I'm having trouble remembering where all the characters in Punisher came from. I remember Rawlins, I remember the Russian hardass, but Yorkie . . .the IRA thing? And O'Brien? Not sure which girl she is. Nonetheless, it's a hell of a story. I don't get the people that don't buy the Punisher because he's morally abhorrent to them. That's the point. He's supposed to be. But the stories are good. Are fake people's morals more important than stories?

Batman. Christ. I dunno. This issue had none of the formal experimentations or twists that made the last so delightful. The art is very hard for me to look at. There were a few cool touches, like the Batcostumes and Batman's dressing down of his son (dishonored your sensei, etc). But I wasn't really feeling this book like I wanted to. It felt like . . .more current DC superhero melodrama. I dunno, man. That's sad to me. Last issue was so awesome. This one's just good at best, I think. Maybe I need to read it again.

I watched that Heroes show. What a lazy, easy-way-out show it seems to be. Sure, one episode, but . . .it seems so EASY. "We need sex appeal!" "Make a character a stripper!" "We need schlub appeal!" "Make characters 'lovable' losers the fatass nerds at home will love!" Some of the acting's OK, but I found myself agreeing with the "mean" brother about his dipshit little brother. The cheerleader I found interesting, some of the Japanese fella's dialogue was cute (but, really, "Hiro"? Ugh!), but I didn't really give a crap otherwise. Lisa might be hooked so maybe I'll see next week's episode, but I certainly wouldn't seek it out.

Lawmaster

2006-09-26T22:16:00.000-05:00

Judge Dredd has been a constant figure in nearly every issue of British science-fiction comic 2000ad over its 30-year history. For a character who pretty much started out as Dirty Harry in the future with a bucket on his head, this is really quite remarkable.

What is even more remarkable is that while a number of high profile creators have had their crack at writing Dredd, one writer has consistently written the best Dredd tales throughout the strip’s history and has, over the last decade, taken it to a whole new level.

In his time, Scots writer John Wagner has crafted literally thousands of different Dredd stories, from six-panel morality plays to six-month sagas with body counts in the hundreds of millions. The format can change, but the basics are always there – clear, crisp storytelling with a minimum of bullshit and just enough humour, getting straight to the point without skipping on the action.

Although he essentially created the character with artist Carlos Ezquerra, Wagner actually briefly left the strip before pre-publication, but soon returned. He still shared scripting duties over those first years, with Pat Mills writing much of the initial mythology that surrounded Dredd.

But after a couple of years, Wagner’s imagination went into overdrive, building up Dredd’s world with dozens of short, snappy tales and fleshing it out further in epics that ran for months in the weekly publication.

The initial clumsiness of the concept behind Dredd was burned away in this fire of storytelling. Over the years, Wagner further deepened the storyline. The fascist angle behind the whole judicial system of Mega-City One was fleshed out, eventually filling Dredd with so much doubt he walked off into the Cursed Earth to spread law amongst the lawless, never to return.

But, of course, as he always does, Dredd came back to save his city. In this, Wagner has followed in his greatest creation’s footsteps. Like many of his peers, he followed the money all the way to America, but his style and sense of humour never really caught on. Frequent collaborator Alan Grant did rather better with long runs on DC’s Batman and Lobo, but almost all of Wagner’s American efforts, such as the Outcasts and Last American mini-series, both written with Grant, along with the short-lived Chain Gang War, are now mostly forgotten.

At about this same time, Dredd was turned over to other writers such as Garth Ennis and Mark Millar. These writers would find much more success across the Atlantic, with most of their stories badly received by Dredd fans.

But when Wagner’s attentions moved back to Dredd, the quality of the stories shot through the roof. Beginning with The Pit saga, which saw Dredd take over the running of a Mega-City sector house, Wagner started building up a vast cast of characters to support the big man. With the notable help of fellow Scots writer Gordon Rennie, Wagner has put so much effort into these supporting characters, including his niece Vienna and fellow Judges Guthrie, Giant and Dredd clone Rico, that they have become a family around Dredd, able to point out his flaws while still standing beside him to the death.

And now, 30 years on, Wagner has gone right back to the beginning with the Origins epic that has just started in 2000ad, a story that promises to combine the usual huge action with the final look at where Dredd actually came from.

It is just so rare to see the same writer stick with the same creator for more than three decades, but it is even rarer for that writer to steadily improve over that time to this point, where Wagner’s work is greeted with almost pure joy by loyal Dredd readers.

In the past Wagner has said that Dredd’s origin will be the last Judge Dredd story he will ever write. It is a story that I personally can’t wait to see unfold and would mark the very best way for Wagner to move on and leave the character behind. But I hope there is still some more Dredd to come from Wagner, because he is, quite simply, an absolute fucking legend.

Joe Rice Media Review 9/21/06

2006-09-21T17:54:00.000-05:00

I didn't write one of these last week. Do you know why? It is because I did not buy any comic books last week. I was too tired. This week I was mad but not too tired. Now I am not mad. I am reviewing.

Anthologies are usually a real gamble. The Goon is usually awesome. SO WHAT ABOUT DWIGHT T. ALBATROSS'S THE GOOD NOIR?!? It was pretty good. The Oswalt/Ploog story was a nice one-off with great use of Goonspeak. I liked the start of the Little Unholy Bastards strip. The Bill Morrison comic was just as funny as you would expect: not funny. And the Big Ma was a bit too predictable and didn't go far enough but the Sook art made me drool. Three or two and a half out of four ain't bad for this sort of stuff.

I tried Ultimate Fantastic Four before and it was the boringest boring to ever boring. Whereas Stan and Jack would have like a thousand cool things happen on a page, one retread thing would happen per arc. But Carey is doing an interesting Kirby play here and Pacheco draws real good. Thanks for the recommendation, ED and KO. This is fun comics.

I've been enjoying the dumb action movie blockbuster nature of Civil War. This issue intensified the action and also the dumb. I'm afraid I'm done with this. From stupid character bits to the obvious BLACK GUY DIES FIRST it was just one big "meh." And what the hell is up with Cable, of all folks quitting a battle? Oh, well, it was fun for a while. Now it's just a superhero comic book.

The Escapists isn't, though. And it isn't quite a comic about superhero comics, either. (We really don't need anymore of those). It's about people making a comic and, uh, "finding what heroism is" except much less lame than how I said it. The imitation-Bond art is nice, the storylines are interesting, and the characters are individual and believable, as one would expect from a Vaughn book. I know CBR avoids indie stuff like PAD avoids fashion magazines, but this is Dark Horse, it's Vaughn, and it's nothing to be scared of, you goddam superhero pussies. Try it.

WHAT?!? MORE VAUGHN WORK?!? Ex Machina is still good? Tony Harris is more amazing all the time? The stories are complex, fascinating, and filled with real meaning? And someone has superpowers? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

Runaways (completing the two-week Vaughn tri-fecta) is also still good. The art suffered with a fill-in, but not to the point of distraction. The story cooks, and I'm curious as to whether the Whedon that takes over will be the Firefly/Serenity Whedon (yay) or the everything else Whedon (sob).

Why is Nextwave: agents of h.a.t.e. so fun? It's not the nihilism . . .in fact, I don't think it's nihilistic at all. Ellis has always seemed to be a false cynic . . .like his repeated character type, he acts cynical because he's a disappointed idealist. But Nextwave reads like the fun he always wanted to have but was embarrassed to. Of course, critiquing Ellis instead of his work is old hat, but I really do love this book. Smart as it is stupid and silly, it really works.

I got X-Men: First Class because I've enjoyed Parker's work on Agents of Atlas. This was unfortunately blander. It's a nice retelling of the X-Men early days. Well, not a re-telling, a "untold stories set in modern times but the X-Men are young). It'll make continuinerds crap their pants even more than they usually do, but it's not a very weighty comic. The character moments are nice, and the young X-Men finally have actual personalities rather than Lee generalities or Claremont stereotypes. I might try another issue. I dunno.

I've said for ages that DMZ is good. This issue was a fill-in, kinda. We get the background of Zee, the Manhattan med student punk girl, and it's pretty cool. Nice art from Kristian Donaldson. When AIT lost Brian Wood, the world gained a better writer. Check it out.

L' Auberge espagnole is a shitty movie even though Audrey Tautou is in it. Don't let your wife convince you to stay up late to watch it. It's a self-indulgent "WOW EUROPEANS ARE THE AWESOMEST BECAUSE WE ARE SO DIVERSE" piece of stupidity that made me angry. Wow, yeah, all you well-off Eurocrackers sure are diverse. Congrats on "bucking the system."

We Don't Talk About Love

2006-09-19T23:34:00.000-05:00

While the struggle to create well-crafted and entertaining comic books has been an ongoing process for much of the medium’s history, bitching and moaning about them has, in recent years, been raised into a goddamn artform.

The rise of the internet over the last decade has given comic readers the opportunity to complain, grumble, bewail, gripe, lament and whine about them in unprecedented numbers.

(Although it should be noted that complaints about comics are nothing new and have been seen since the first generation of comic readers grew up and discovered that they didn’t make them the way they used to be, so they can’t be any good. This retarded nostalgia for a golden age that never fucking existed in the first place seeps through into the history of comics, peering out from old letters pages and yellowed fanzines.)

But since everyone with an opinion, a keyboard and a few bucks to waste on an internet connection was given access to the rest of the comic reading community, this complaining has reached epidemic proportions, to the point where a genuinely positive review stands apart from the pack of negativity that greets any new release.

Unfortunately, while some of the bitching can be entertaining in its own way, the vast majority looks like nothing more than moaning for the sake of moaning, by people who can’t articulate their dissatisfaction with a particular comic, but don’t let that stop them spewing forth in all their grammatically challenged glory.

“This comic sucks? Why? Because it does! End of discussion!”

But why is this? Do readers really just read comics they know they’re going to hate, so they have something to talk about?

Or is it because it’s so much easier to say why you didn’t like something than it is to say why you did. The enjoyment you get out of a comic may be something you can’t possibly explain. It might trigger fond memories, or excite the mind with the freshness of something you’ve never seen before, but try explaining such things to another person and you’re fucked.

The best art, in any form, is almost by definition impossible to define. The finest pieces of literature or painting succeed because they make the person experiencing them feel something they might have always known was there inside them, even if they couldn’t articulate it.

Try explaining your love of, say, a John Byrne comic before explaining why you think Rob Liefeld’s art is a load of crap. Good luck.

There are, of course, always exceptions, with some bloggers such as Dave Campbell or Chris Sims showing no shame in their love for the good, bad and plain old ugly in the world of comics. But they stand out in their joy.

Who knows? Maybe the negativity that permeates comics criticism rises up out of the adolescent belief that everything is crap, and you look so much smarter by slagging something off, even if in your heart of hearts, you actually do kinda like it a bit.

Or maybe the comic reader’s expectations are just too high and the crushing disappointment that comes with yet another dreary rehash of the same old superhero conflicts is just too much to bear.

Or maybe, just maybe, it’s just because comics really are more shit than they used to be.

In Your Head

2006-09-17T02:22:00.000-05:00

Advertisements in comics have always aimed young. Genre movies, videogames and junk food have been staples, but in recent years, another category of advertisement has become more and more ubiquitous: the anti-drug message.

Even the Just Say No generation didn’t have to slog through the anti-drug ads that clog many of the comics from the major publishers. The message has shifted to show that drugs aren’t cool and that you’ll never achieve anything if you use them. Aside from the occasional use of a computer-generated grotesque, there is nothing really wrong with these ads, they are, after all, placed there with the best of intentions.

And yet, comics books are probably one of the worst places to put ads like that, because when it comes to reading material when you’re wasted, nuthin’ beats comics.

Smoke a joint, knock back a few wines, do what you will, but if you don’t have anybody to share it with or anyplace special to go, a comic book can be your best friend.

Much of it is a result of the actual stories, but the format itself also plays a big part. When the brain is swimming in its own juices, reading a big block of text can be nearly impossible. But when you add a page full of pictures, things become a lot easier.

With a comic, you can pause in the middle of a page and let the mind wander where it wants to and when it comes back, you can pick up the flow again with the greatest of ease. You can focus on an idea or phrase, or simply stare at a particularly eye-catching picture. You might be on Cloud Nine, but the comic page isn’t going anywhere.

And then there is the material itself. Although superhero fiction remains the dominant genre, there is an incredible amount of variety to wrap your head around.

Ironically, the more mindbending the comic, the less enjoyable it can actually be with a few chemicals sloshing around in the skull. The more simple the tale and art, the easier it can be processed. Something like Bone or a Donald Duck comic are not only easier to follow, they can hold prove much better at the opening the emotional floodgates.

The inevitable exception to this is, of course, Grant Morrison. Indeed, it is often asserted that for much of his work drugs are an absolute prerequisite, although this mostly comes from the sad belief that the only possible way to follow anything with hints of free association is to be fucked out of your skull.

But still, with short, snappy bits of dialogue and ideas rarely seen in any other form of mainstream media, Morrison’s comics also contain strong narrative threads to keep the attention. Even if those threads are hard to spot on a first reading, a buzzing brain can pick and choose its own themes, whether they exist or not.

Of course, taking drugs or drinking booze and curling up with a comic book is not recommended for everybody. A lot of comic readers are quite capable of reading their books without any chemical enhancement and get just as much out of them. This is to be commended.

But as somebody who has been moved beyond words while reading Love and Rockets through dope-hazed eyes on a sunny Saturday afternoon and saw the shape of the universe in an issue of The Invisibles after drinking four bottles of red wine, only to forget it 10 minutes later when I passed out on the stairs leading to my apartment, I can honestly say it’s always worked out all right for me.

It’s great when you’re straight, but sometimes it can be fucking awesome when you’re wasted.

Comics For Nobody!

2006-09-11T23:09:00.000-05:00

Comic book enthusiasts have many obsessions, but one of the most prevailing is to get more people involved in their hobby. To turn non-comic book readers into true connoisseurs of the artform, to spread the word, to turn them into one of us.

The desire for this might stem from the simple desire to have somebody to talk to about the latest issue of Genericman, or the desire to convert may come from a wider concern that unless new readers are found soon, the entire medium will roll up and die.

Unfortunately, you can expose somebody to the finest in graphic literature, show them the finest art the medium has to offer and you still won’t be able to compete with the fact that there are a lot of people out there who just won’t read them. Ever. Because they just don’t like them.

My fiancée is a fine, fine woman, and I’m not just saying that because she’s a journalist who wanders around the house in her underwear, just like Vicki Vale. She’s smart and funny and sexy as fuck, but by God, I couldn’t get her to read a comic book for anything.

She understands my passion and loves the way I can’t help doing a little happy dance whenever new comic books arrive in the mail, but she won’t ever read one for herself. Her reasons are her own and have something to do with the fact that she thinks they don’t let the reader rely on their own imagination, but no matter how much I debate this point with her, she won’t cave in.

A lot of it does have to do with the still widely-held perception that comics = super heroes and that is all there is to it, (even though I have tried with many, many, non-genre efforts). Fact is, the idea that an adult could pick up a super hero comic cold and find it fascinating is more than a little weird. Get ‘em when they’re young with that sort of thing. It’s the only way.

But that’s okay. So I can’t get her to read a comic book, big deal. It doesn’t harm my enjoyment of them. I don’t feel the overwhelming need to discuss the latest issue of All-Star Superman with anybody the instant it comes out and I figure the medium is strong enough to do without those extra sales.

And yet…

I fucking love comic books. I adore the way words and pictures go together like that. I like all kinds. I like intense autobiographical navel gazing and I adore big super-hero punch-ups. So how come I only buy, at most, half a dozen comics every month?

Every month the solicitations are released and every month it’s the same old shit, over and over again. I just can’t get excited about 99% of comics released every month, and the more insular and inward-looking they get, the less interest I have.

I don't live anywhere near a comic store, so I don't even have the option of stumbling across any independent comic that turns out to be a heart-wrenching work of genius. I don't have much money, so spending it on the sheer hope that something might be good based purely on the views of others is a hard fucking step to take.

So if there is little more than nothing for me, and nothing at all for most other people, who else is left? And what’s the fucking point? Why fucking bother?

All that you can do is ignore the vast majority, let it all slide by, let it go. Embrace the love and leave the rest. With that attitude I have little doubt that the death of the whole industry will come a little closer every day, but I just can’t be worried about that.

The industry may die, but the medium is forever.

Welcome to the House of Fun

2006-09-11T01:31:00.000-05:00

For all the four-colour joy that comics can bring, they really seem to mess with the heads of their creators. Sometimes this is a good thing. Most of the time it isn’t.

The history of the medium is littered with lost minds and suicides. Some of them showed a fair amount of imagination, some were horribly mundane.

On it’s own, the suicide list is extraordinary. Jack Cole writing that last letter to Hugh Hefner. Wally Wood reaching for the gun as his body gave out. Others hang themselves, or throw themselves off buildings.

In each case, the reasons are different. The crushing disrespect shown towards comic creators for much of the medium’s history is a guaranteed factor in some, but it can just as easily be financial pressures, health problems or a relationship break-up. Not every life ends in the gutter between the panels.

Of course, suicide is always the most extreme response to mental and social pressures, and the history of comics has its fair share of creators cracking under the strain, but stopping short of the ultimate end. It can be sudden, or it can slowly take place over a period of years, the creator’s audience often watching in disturbed fascination as it goes on.

The most prominent example of this is the last few decades is, of course, Dave Sim. Despite the extraordinary feat of completing a 300-issue tale and the amount of incredible moments that fill those issues, it is almost impossible to review his work without noting that Cerebus apparently drove the Canadian creator completely bugfuck crazy.

Sim would almost certainly be the first to argue this point and is very, very good at articulating his point of view. It might be one that is not shared by many of his readers, but his arguments do contain some good points, no matter how personally disagreeable they may be.

But you only have to read Cerebus to chart the progress of a man who, over 30 years, goes through some extraordinary changes, both professionally and personally. How much of his later writings against the great feminine void were a result of his divorce can be debated, although the religious themes that fill the last 50 issues of the series can be undoubtedly traced to his own conversion to the Church of Dave.

Still, if Sim has lost his mind, he has done it very well. He has channelled his energies into his work and has carved out his own place in the universe, which is something to be admired.

Much of the claims made against Sim are born in his work or in interviews, but the latter can be the worst place to judge him or anybody else. Interviews can frequently be read the wrong way, with sarcasm and irony lost in the transition from the initial conversation to the transcript. The interviewers themselves can mould the piece to their own ends and if they go into it with preconceived notions, the chances of it sticking to those initial impressions can be high.

Frank Miller can suffer particularly badly in this. Much of his work, particularly recent efforts such as the second Dark Knight series, appears to be misunderstood and those misconceptions can are only reinforced by further interviews with the man. It can be depressingly easy to view Miller as a right-wing fire-breathin’ terrorist-hatin’ man-of-war who lost it five years ago when the Twin Towers fell. The truth might be more complex, but who has time to consider I these days?

Even creators who command a lot of respect in the industry such as Alan Moore and Grant Morrison can appear to be absolute fucking loonies in interviews, especially when they discuss their various magick techniques. Even if their beliefs are no more outlandish than your average religion. Morrison in particular is ridiculously easy to misinterpret in interviews, without his knowing wink and sarcastic Scots accent, he can often come off in interviews as, well, a cock.

The internet has only fuelled this, and with its ability to allow creators to talk to their fans, can also lead to the conclusion that the creators have lost it. But this can often be due to those same people not thinking things properly through before posting their thoughts for all to read. Getting your opinion out to the world three seconds after an epiphany might sound like a good idea, but sometimes creators such as John Byrne and Mark Millar should show a bit more restraint or accusations of mental illness are inevitable.

And yet, those with genuine mental problems often use their comics to work through their troubles. Robert Crumb has raised his own sexual deviances to high art, while Evan Dorkin has also worked his problems out on the page, most obviously in the astonishing Dork #7. Dorkin might have a mind cluttered with popculture fueled neurosis, but putting it out to the world in his comics must help.

Perhaps, for all its bizarre history, comics are the best place for people not quite right in the head. The high level of imagination and productivity needed can push things to the surface, but with relatively few other collaborators, the creativity involved can only shine.

Besides, there are always those who work in the industry for decades, producing thousands of pages of quality work without ever losing it. Staying strong for years and living full, productive lives. The old school who came into the business during the war and stayed through the whole evolution without losing their minds: Joe Kubert, Jack Kirby, Carmine Infantino, Stan Lee, Gil Kane.

Well, maybe not Kane so much….

Holes

2006-09-10T01:32:00.000-05:00

Cheap trades and the internet have shot the traditional comic shop back issue market in the spine. It’s so easy to get that elusive issue of Iron Man through an internet auction and in a world where you can get a comprehensive amount of the Thunderbolts series in trade form, why bother looking?

It’s a shame, in more ways than one. Without an idiosyncratic selection of back issues, all comic shops begin to blend together. There are always the wonderful exceptions, but the formula is depressingly easy to replicate: A good selection of the latest issues from the big boys, a few independent comics that everybody likes, and the usual merchandise, much of which is getting creepier by the day.

Of course, there are benefits. Trade paperbacks are sexy and you get a good chunk of story for your money. It’s made it a piece of piss to get complete runs of series. The work of a creator like Alan Moore can be almost completely bought in trade form.

But still, while an internet auction can have a fair amount of excitement as you bid for that one issue you want more than any other comic that has ever existed, it’s still impersonal and strange. You might have to resist the odd temptation to buy complete runs of Power Pack on E-bay, but is it really as much fun as buying them one at a time, building up a complete collection over years?

Personally, when it comes to buying comics, nothing in the world beats the feeling of finding that elusive issue of Hellblazer that Gaiman did in a pile of New Universe crud. Digging through piles and piles of ‘80s Starman comics, only to turn up a few early issues of Matt Wagner’s Grendel that you never dreamed of seeing before.

It might be a real bitch reading a series out of order, but if it was good enough for William Burroughs, it’s got to be good enough for us geeks. Narrative cutup gives new perspective on the overall story, getting Frank Miller’s Daredevil comics when you see ‘em cheap sees Elektra return from the dead dozens of times, poor old Matt Murdock going from bad to worse to good again.

Ironically, the worst thing about collecting this way is when the goal is finally achieved. It took me 15 years to get all the stories in the original Love and Rockets series, but when I got the last the brief sense of jubilation was replaced by… nothing. Got ‘em all now. What’s next?

(And how come a week after I finally cave in and get the Chelo’s Burden book for $50 after never seeing it anywhere for more than a decade, it shows up at the local second-hand bookshop for $10 the next fucking week? Is the Universe laughing with me, or at me?)

Still, at least there is always something new. Once you’ve got a copy of every comic Garth Ennis ever wrote, there is always those early issues of Cerebus, or those three issues of John Byrne’s Next Men, or the latest Complete Peanuts book to find.

Besides, once the back issues vanish completely from comic stores, they have to go somewhere, don't they? They don't just evaporate. The dream of that perfect comic book shop, with copies of every comic ever published for sale, lives on...

Joe Rice Media Review 9/7/06

2006-09-07T20:22:00.000-05:00

GOTTA WRITE THIS FAST WHILE LISA SHOWERS!!!!!

The Punisher was good. Finally getting used to Fernandez' art style. I'm still a . . .little . . .uncomfortable with some of the portrayals. Something a bit off, but the story is too nice and tight to dismiss that easily. Looks like another epic in the overall Ennis Punisher mythology. This is just good writing. I don't care if you don't like the Punisher, he's a cypher for a writer to turn into a story. And Ennis does it well.

Jack Staff is so damn cool that it should be taught at Comic Book College. It's inventive without sacrificing story and fun. It's exciting without sacrificing intelligence. And Alan Moore guest stars as a magician! I only wish it came out more regularly. You guys are reading this, right? Right?

Wow, strike two for Detective Comics artists. And, no, a cute little reference to cheesecake as a guilty pleasure doesn't excuse what goes on in this issue. It was like Humberto Ramos combined with Jim Lee, except their flaws magnified and their skills made less. The story was a decent little thing I guess. These endings are getting boring to me. I'll be honest . . .I dunno if I'm up for much more of this. The first one was great, but I'm getting very bored very fast. Bring back Williams.

Why is Agents of Atlas so good? I bought it as cannon fodder one week. But goddam, this is a fun book. It's smart, too. And the art services the story well. This reminds me a BIT of BPRD . . .not because of nonhuman government operatives, but because it just tells a very good story very well and with lots of pulp-derived fun. All this from a superhero book! Seriously good.

Scarlett: Declassified had pretty art. Um. Hm. And we have a lot of stupid "OH THAT IS WHY _______" moments (fill in "she uses a stupid crossbow," "a woman got that kind of training," etc) all-too often seen in "prequel" origin stories. I only got it for the art and nostalgiac affection for the character. Do not buy this. It is bad.

Vertigo snagging American Splendor is probably their most significant achievement yet, above the Hernandez contributions, the Gaiman wanks, or even my beloved Flex. It's a different kind of storytelling, but it's getting it out to a much larger audience. HA HA HA HA just kidding. Pekar's work sells tons in bookstores. I do hope that more supposed comics fans will read his stuff now . . .like me. This was my first issue and I liked it a lot. His work's always been on my "should be reading this" list . . .now I cannot resist.

Teaching drama is frickin awesome. All kids are great, unless they are in fourth grade. My babies are doing well. I feel very good.

2006-08-31T21:41:00.000-05:00

Here's that video I mentioned

Fucking spaghetti western kung fu sci fi genius. And this song makes me want to make sex a lot. Also to thrash around during the solo and beat shit up. Not all at once, that would be awkward.

The Joe Rice Media Review 8/31/06

2006-08-31T06:08:00.000-05:00

Garth Ennis' The Boys was, last we saw, teetering on a dangerous fulcrum between Good Ennis and Bad Ennis. Now, I'm not saying we've got another masterpiece quite yet, as there are a couple of obvious dumbjokes. But as we meet the various members of the, uh, Boys (?), we get some insight. Two of them are fairly psychopathic, but in their own, surprising ways. Me, I'm just glad someone's not going with that stupid "French = wuss" meme. Talk about played out . . .anyway. Mother's Milk is interesting as a family man and Butcher makes some good points. In today's superhero comic book world, the damn bastards ARE pretty hatable. They deserve this kind of treatment. The book inched closer to Good Ennis. Here's hoping.

I generally like Kelly Plunkett's artwork, so I picked up the first issue in the arc he and Chaykin are doing for JLA: Classified. If you enjoy things like watching superheroes stiltedly debate modern political theory and generic terrorist countries, then this is the comic for you! Also, you are probably stupid. The art's nice, at least. But, Jesus, this makes last week's Justice League book look like EXCITEMENT TIME!!!!

I haven't had much exposure to Brendan McCarthy's work before his issue of Solo, so I'm speaking from a bit of ignorance here. It's really impressive, though. He really uses Solo as an artistic platform like no one else really did. I still prefer the overall quality of the Pope, Cooke, and Allred issues, but there's a certain gusto to the "Shit, I'll try THIS" attitude McCarthy seems to exude. The entire thing is a series of rather short bits, sometimes vaguely linked. It really reads like a dream. In fact, dreaming is a common theme in some of the bits, and a dream links it all together in the end. Plot-lovers won't get much out of this, and I didn't even understand some of it but it sure was nice to look at, like that pretty genius drunk at a party.

All-Star Superman is fucking amazing. You know that. Morrison and Quitely are not only at the top of their crafts, but they seem to expand it with each issue. The subtle storytelling bits in this book continue to be the real showcase of the utterly baffling talent of these two men. From Clark's early trip to the prison cross-section/splash page these men are pushing comics forward (apologies, Mr. Doane). Has anyone gotten Clark this well before? Jesus. I have a hard time reviewing this book. In all honesty, I'd rather study it. There's so much to love here, and I know I'll find more with each reading. If you're not loving this, you hate comics.

I saw that Pirates of the Carribean sequel. That was an entertaining use of two and a half summer hours. There were some great bits and set-pieces. Depp kind of outclasses the rest of the actors, but at least he's being hammy so it's not as embarrassing as it could be. The bad guys were creepy and effective. This is a well-done summer flicker and distraction.

The new(ish) Muse album, Black Holes and Revelations is completely blowing me away today. Imagine if Radiohead did the soundtrack to Flash Gordon with Queen. That's the best explanation I can give. Check out their video for Knights of Cydonia and glory in the kung fu cowboy sci fi action. It's not for everyone, of course (although the video should be because it's like the best movie ever) and see if you like it.

Also, Vast Aire's solo album, Look Mom . . .No Hands is fun as hell. My favorite MC and member of Cannibal Ox name drops Clark Kent, the FF, and other comics concepts with good regularity. It's nerd friendly hip hop. Check out some tunes on Itunes, especially Cannibal Ox's Battle for Asgaard. Goodness.

Tap tap is this thing on?

2006-08-24T11:33:00.000-05:00

I got a variety of stuff this week. For the first time in a long time I even got some superhero/genre stuff that I was pretty sure would suck. But, since I'm kinda writing reviews it gets boring if everything is "WOW! GREAT!" and I wanted to see if and how they'd suck.

Sometimes I wish the word "retcon" never got made. The latest issue of Daredevil sparked some readers to whine about a story IN THIS ARC being retconned already. No, you numbskulls, that's not a retcon. That's called "not revealing every secret on page one." Anyway, it's funny what Brubaker's doing here. I was getting bored with his Cap A, unfortunately, around the time his Daredevil started. But, hey, this was the guy who did Sleeper and the good parts of Gotham Central, so I gave it a whirl. It was good. But the first few issues . . .I just felt like I was on the verge of dropping it. But then, every issue afterwards SOMEthing happened. Something crazy in each one, but that made story sense and progressed everything. Every time I thought "I see what's going to happen" BOOM something nuts happened. And, not to toot my own horn (that's later), but after years of screenwriting and writing training, it's really, really easy to predict this shit. Not so with this book. Excellent stuff.

I'm surprised by how much I like The Eternals. If you were to list things that tend not to go so well it would be something like this:
Middle East Peace Talks
Kirby revivals
My excitement over Neil Gaiman's works
Religious discussions at CBR
Throw in a "we've all forgotten that we're heroes" bit and you've got quite a recipe (with 2 and 3) for disaster. But the Romita art is gorgeous, the writing flows interestingly, and Gaiman seems to have a handle on Kirby's scope AND is reigning in his flowery goth poetry side, thank Christ. Beautiful cover, too.

On to the first of the embarassing books I got this week. G.I. Joe Declassified is the story of the GI Joes I grew up with, the ones I really liked (the first ones, that is), written by their classic writer in a story set before the Marvel comic. The Marvel version is the thing that got me started on comics. The toys were my favorites growing up. But I do realize that everything outside of the toys is pretty awful. I just couldn't resist. In this book, you get some extremely uneven art, some clumsy exposition, and some unrealistic combat situations. This is a bad comic book. But I like it. See, enjoyment and quality are not the same thing. This is hitting my nostalgia buttons directly in my cerebrum and I can't help but like this crap. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, not even the guys I played with back in the day. I'll never re-read it, not even the "Snake Eyes makes coffee with a landmine" scene. It's just nice and reassuring in a way to see my old favorites that never got any face time in the comics. Ah, well.

Got an early reader of Bryan Wood's Park Slope issue of Local. Another strong short story in the life of Megan. Fun seeing a neighborhood I love in it, good reference work. Well, duh, the writer lives there. This is a comic book issue that all of CBR should buy. There's a pin-up by one of your favorite Brooklyn CBRians who's on vacation now. I think this comes out next week. Get it and enjoy the story and admire your fellow poster's work.

Hey, might as well do the other Wood comics I got this week. DMZ featured the end of the current storyline, "Body of a Journalist." There was a point where I thought this was falling into the "Vertigo trap." Interesting premise, great first arc, then a fall-off. No, this book is actually getting stronger with age. Wood flexes his political and satirical muscles without forgetting to tell a compelling story of a reporter caught in the DMZ of Manhattan. The politics aren't in the forefront and they're even-handed on both sides . . .nobody really comes off as angels here. Good, intriguing stuff. I'm still not a fan of the art, though.

Supermarket also comes to an end this week. Are you guys reading this? Slick art, and Wood's having a lot of fun here. In a future city where the suburbs are full of unbelievably rich familes and the city is one giant shopping mall run by two organized crime families: the Yakuza and the Swedish Porno Girls. Our main character is the daughter of a Romeo-Juliet paring between the two, and upon their murder, she's on the run. Fun action stuff. I enjoyed the hell out of this book. I'd be sad to see it go, but I remember that more comics should actually end rather than deteriorate over time.

I got my first issue of 52 yesterday. I feel kind of dirty. Yeah, I know it's not as bad as you think. You're right, it really wasn't. But, while still competently done, it's kind of What I Don't Like. We've got the Marvel Family, including Black Adam and Isis and they . . .talk. And talk. And talk. And talk. About feelings. About love. And, while I think it might be really interesting to see superheroes talking naturalistically about these things, these characters are still spouting dialogue, real speech. Also, if Black Adam's really killing all these people, what the fuck are the rest of them doing just letting it happen? The Montoya/Question stuff seemed stupid but whatever. Alex had me get the issue with the Great Ten, and they were neat, but that was another pointless series of pages and people in tights talking at each other. I just don't get why anyone is supposed to give a shit other than the book tries to tell you to. IT'S SO IMPORTANT! Yeah, but why?

But that's not my deepest shame this week. No. My deepest shame is that I actually bought that stupid Justice League of America book, knowing the writer's never impressed me and that the artist really creeps me out. But I figured people would go nuts over this and I wanted to judge with my own brain. On page one we get the narration and the chests! OH YEAH! NARRATION WITH CAPTION BOXES! We really see how well Meltzer "gets in the head" of our characters. And it's the kind of "tell don't show" stuff that hallmarks lazy fan fiction and cheap paperbacks. A choice quote, from Superman, PAGE ONE: "His heartbeat tells me it's the truth. And at forty beats per minute--that's fast for Bruce--he's actually excited. It still doesn't calm me down. Not that I'd tell him that." What the fuck? We also get a lot of WHO GIVES A SHIT Red Tornado scenes setting up future stories. Benes draws the worst Metal Men ever. The "Big Three" (ugh) discuss various other superheroes and whether they're "in" or not. Arsenal and Hal take out their peckers and swordfight. And Black Lightning is in with the bad guys. He's undercover. He's black, so crooks love him. Also blah blah blah Luthor blah blah blah continuity wank blah blah blah. Vixen apparently always stands with her ass shooting out. And says the names of animals she's using. I'll admit that Dr. Impossible could be neat. He probably won't be, but the idea isn't bad. And, of course, you get plenty of ass and boob shots throughout. Christ. Are superhero fans liking this or do even they say "Naw, bullshit." They like it, don't they? All they do is talk, and in hackneyed ways. And this ART! It's so ugly. All the women have the same face, if the face is actually in the panel rather than a naughty part. Ugh. I feel pain and sadness.

BUT WAIT! What's that? You say another superhero book came out that was actually good?!?? NO WAY! Yes way. Batman. I was disappointed with the first Morrison issue of Batman and then with the second Dini issue. My spirits were down. I was ready to quit. But here we go. Here's some good stuff. And with some actual artistic (not just drawing) density and meaning, too. First off, we'd all heard about the ninja Manbats before, but nothing can quite prepare you for legions of Manbats with Katanas. Awesome. There's more first-person caption narration here, but it's different. It feels more like actual speech/thought. We get a feeling for what Batman thinks about while he's kicking ass. It's not all Miller-style badassery, either. He jokes to himself (darkly, mind you), thinks of memories, etc. It's interesting, believable, and human. Batman's trying to help people here, he's being a hero. And we knew the big reveal at the end, but it's still satisfying. But I was most impressed with the art. Strange, as Kubert's work really turned me off last issue. And his figure work isn't necessarily better this time, it's his use of artwork in his art. Anyone who's read the issue knows what I mean, as Morrison had him place various "comic book pop art" pieces in the background that corresponded with various story points. It's a small touch but adds so much artistically . . .the kind of thing not everyone will really get into or dissect, but took plenty of time to do. That's craftsmanship, that's interest in the form, and that's the Grant Morrison we've been seeing lately but was absent last issue. Great, great stuff.

Congratulations, Rocketship!

2006-07-26T16:12:00.001-05:00

It's been a heck of a year. Take a bow folks.... you deserve it.

I create nerds

2006-06-17T10:00:00.000-05:00

That's right, I'm a nerd alchemist. You give me a class full of normal Brooklyn kids and by the end of the year, they are NERDS.

Can you possibly deal with that in your head? The answer is no, you cannot.

Like, seriously. DEAL with this:

You can't, you just can't.

Even their parents aren't safe from my viral nerdism.

Face it. You are defeated.

Was there another awesome Rocketship party?

2006-06-12T18:39:00.000-05:00

Oh, yes. It was shoulder-to-shoulder, cartoonist-filled enjoyment. Mocca got kicked off with a wonderful bang. Without further ado, here are the photos that are less blurry and shaky than the other ones Jinah took.

The crowd:

The art:

The unlikely pairing: (Panter + Batman)

AWESOME DUDE CLUB!!!

The official Rocketship Skirt, modelled by Amy:

The mid-party meditation:

The Mary and Sabrina:

The Joe and Alex:

The Unfortunate Photo:

The party was huge, it was nuts, and it was one of the most fun ones yet. Took me all weekend to recover.

Posted Sans Comment

2006-05-24T20:05:00.000-05:00

From this month's Previews:

Hotwire Comics and Capers Party at Rocketship

2006-05-20T14:52:00.000-05:00

After missing two parties in a row, I, Ms. Rocketship, got the pleasure of attending one again last night. And what a party it was. A release party for the excellent anthology Hotwire Comics and Capers, it was full of great cartoonists, funny stuff, puppies, beer, comics and lots of folks having a good time. Pictures, you ask? Why, yes, I do have pictures.

Yes, it was packed:

Kupperman and Cox discuss sci fi pulp illustrators.

Some of the lovely art:

Two species of bartenders:

Patty says, "Hello internet!"

Even Alex is moved.

It is no wonder I am their spokesmodel.

A GOOD TIME!!!! FOR COMICS!!!!

I wrote a book.

2006-05-19T06:53:00.000-05:00

You can buy it, too. It's here. It's a very vulgar and trashy story about a down and out former art photographer turned to sleazy private investigation. It's full of hard drinking, diarrhea, weird symbols, possible conspiracies, and attractive people (also unattractive ones). I'd love to get some feedback on it, so give it a try.

Your pal,

Joe

Comic Book Films

2006-05-15T07:06:00.000-05:00

So there, like, a slew of them coming out this summer. This past weekend my girlfriend and I went and saw the one I was most looking forward to, Art School Confidential. It may not have the advertising blitz of X-Men or Superman, but it has Dan Clowes, one of comics' most talented and observant writers.

This was Clowes' first foray into screenwriting, I believe. An adaptation of a short piece he did that cracked me up the first time I saw it. It was a pretty scathing critique of art school culture, and, I can say, a pretty dead-on one. So they took the three or four pages of gags and made a feature of it (they being Clowes and his film collaborator, Terry Zwigoff).

Is it as good as a Clowes comic? No, it isn't, but very few things are these days. The plotlines attatched to the gags at first seem arbitrary, but midway through it's almost as if Clowes finds his confidence and just incorporates them into his satire. Those who claim Clowes is a self-absorbed misanthropist might think they find evidence for their claims in this film. Not many people come out smelling very well. One of my favorite aspects of the film is how the central character is played very sympathetically until the viewer finally realizes, like his friend, that he's just a pathetic douchebag. The heroine is equally flawed . . .both of them are in love not with each other but with image. They think themselves above the petty art school posing, that they really want "great art," but their two "kisses" . . .when he kisses the picture he drew of her, and when they kiss through a glass partition, betrays their actual love. He loves the image of her, and she loves how he sees her.

Anyway, it was a very funny film with some very smart bits in it. Jim Broadbent is frickin' great in it, Malkovich does a very good job, and the gags are funny. I recommend the movie, especially if you have attended art school at any point in your life. (The transformation of Ethan Suplee into Kevin Smith was a wonderful jab, by the way.)

So, yeah, later in the month X-Men 3 is coming out. The first one was an OK dumb movie and the second one was actually pretty good. But trading Singer in for Rattner? I don't know if I'll waste my time. I WILL waste my time on Superman, and I'll even hope the time isn't a waste. The trailer looks fun, even with Kevin Spacey being Kevin Spacey. We'll see. But the one I wanted to be good the most, well, it was damn good.

Free Comics + My Class + Rocketship = Derby Day

2006-05-06T16:52:00.000-05:00

I had to hold up with the mint juleps this year. Couldn't start until I took my class of second graders to Brooklyn's own Rocketship Comics. It was a grand time for all. I must make it known that my kids were the best-behaved children at the shop, which was literally wall-to-wall kids and parents for a while.

NOW IT IS TIME FOR PHOTOS!

PS, good to be back.

Holy Hannah! BPRD is the King of All Comics

2006-05-04T12:28:00.000-05:00

If I were to list all the things I want to see in a comic book, it might look like this:

1. Abe Sapien in a smoking jacket.
2. An ape skelton dressed as a nun.
3. Headhunters.
4. 18th Century ghouls in powdered wigs.
5. A hunchback in a wooden crown.
6. Horrible gore.
7. A talking monkey in a spooky mask.
8. a voodoo jaguar god surrounded by doves.
9. A mysterious book that explains the alchemical workings of the universe.
10. Guy Davis art, as colored by Dave Stewart.

Is anyone not reading B.P.R.D.? If not, why are you depriving your soul of it's delicious perfection?

I pretty much have a heart attack every time I read an issue. I love it so much my eyes swell up with tears and I name my future children Johann and Abraham.

B.P.R.D.: THE UNIVERSAL MACHINE. Books like this are why comics are made. The only bad thing is that it makes so many other books even more mediocre in comparison.

Vote for me to win!

2006-04-21T21:08:00.000-05:00

Somebody posted a link to a script-writing contest at CBR, so I decided to enter and threw something together.

You can find it (and the other entries) here.

Mine's pretty obvious...it's "The Secret Undertakings of Commodore Osborne G. Bulwark." Posted by "Paul."

Everyone be kind...it's basically a first draft that I wrote over the weekend last weekend. If I had more time, it would have gone through numerous revisions.

But I think it's pretty fun and I hope people like it.

And if you do...please register at that website and vote for me to win! Voting starts Sunday.

Good evening.

(And remember...I love you.)

Semi-self promotion

2006-04-04T22:32:00.000-05:00

As you may now, I am a second grade teacher. I haven't been blogging much for a variety of reasons (including a move and some writing stuff), but one of the big reasons is that I was finishing the editing on my second graders' book. It's available now through lulu.com so check this out if you're interested. It's a bunch of fun stories written by my favorite seven-year-old geniuses. I hope you guys dig it.

Manarvel Comics

2006-03-29T18:42:00.000-05:00

It was recently announced that Milo Manara will be working with Master Wordsmith Chris Claremont on an X-Men title.

The blogs and message boards sounded up a HUZZAH... except for lone Voice of Reason Mike S. Miller, who had this to say....

"Does this mean we'll get to see the X-women getting it on with X-men, in gratuitously explicit sex scenes throughout the book?

Minara is a pornographer. Anyone who just 'googled' him knows that, why is it being kept so quiet on this thread?

I used to read his stuff. Excellent artist, but I wonder what sense it makes to put him on a book that is supposedly all-ages? What if a kid falls in love with his artwork and GOOGLES him?

"Kid, welcome to the wonderful world of graphic porn comics."

Nice"

Thank you Mr. Miller, for saying what needs to be said. Oh sure, the liberal elite thinks it's A OKAY to let a KNOWN PORNOGRAPHER work on a kiddie book.

Of course. Next thing you know, Richard Maplethorpe will be showing us all how far Batman can shove a bullwhip in his ass.

Well I got news for you pinkos. My boycott of X-Men starts Right NOW. Until they bring back the One True X-Artist (John Byrne), you can kiss my hard earned buckers goodbye.

As long as this FILTH is in print, I will fight it tooth and nail. The idea of Jean Grey's voluptious, silky, soft, freckled tits being rendered in soft, delicate lines absolutely repulses me.

Chris Claremont had better get to writing up some endless internal dialogue for these gals... maybe one of his painfully over-written thought ballooons will cover up the firm, smooth contours of Storm's long, chocolate thighs. If anyone can do it, he can.

The thought of this Smut makes me sick. I get all light-headed and dizzy, and I feel nervous and lose my appetite. Sexy women in comics should be drawn ineptly by guys with a tenuous grasp of anatomy, and they should be in costumes that make no sense. Period.

And all these Italians should stick to what they know best....

Fumetti.

Pics from the li'l sis

2006-02-21T00:49:00.000-05:00

Jinah the inlaw brought her camera to the recent Rocketship party/signing. She took many pictures. I will show some of them to you now. You will enjoy them. Perhaps you will comment below! Or you will link. It is up to you.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is how you have a comic signing:

Anders Nilson: human signing machine!

Sammy Harkham basks in the attention of the adoring public. No, you may not touch the beard!

Kevin Huizenga signs for infrequent blogger Brant.

Bloggas always be talkin' shit! (The best part was when many of the attending bloggers circled around Heidi and curried for her favor like some medieval court.)

This was the first meeting of the Rocketship No Boys Allowed! club.

Beer monsters were always trying to take my beer.

Comics and fashion: like the internet and complaining, natural partners

Overall, everyone gave it a big, happy Dave Yeah!

Hycodan Syrup Fueled Talk

2006-02-15T20:14:00.000-05:00

What a great week for comics. I'm always blown away by weeks like this, but if I look back, I have them more often than I think. That's because comics are so damn great. Naysayers may still whine about the lack of good comics, but they're just not looking in the right places. If you're still shocked that you're not enjoying Superhero Crossover 7, there's nothing I can do to help you, tard.

Angry Youth Comix? Pure flat-out hilarity. But not for everyone. I started to read it on the subway, but had to put it away. I didn't want to explain the "size of the tits on that concentration camp" to some uptight dweeb. If you're not an uptight dweeb, do go and enjoy this book.

Supermarket may be my favorite Brian Wood book yet, competing with Local for the top spot. It's tight, the art, by Kristian, is very cool, and it's damn compelling. Was this always supposed to be for IDW or is this another one AIT lost? Anyway, well worth your hard-earned cash here. Cool stuff that doesn't take too long to get moving.

It's good to have the Peter Milligan who is awesome back. I thought Marvel had killed him. Speaking of which, Brubaker's Daredevil is a damn sight more impressive than his Captain America seems these days. The Lark art helps, no doubt. Scary stuff, closer to Sleeper than he's been in a while.

Princess Powerful is my favorite superhero now that Captain Marvel is dead. A runaways issue focussing on her is like a little present for my heart, a day-late Valentines.

Just when the Goon seemed to be treading water, we get an issue that's alternately hilarious and ubercreepy and exciting and hilarious again. Eric Powell, do you drink awesome juice? Is it made of the sweat of beautiful rock stars? I need this knowledge.

PAUL POPE IS LUST. JOSE VILLARUBA IS COLOR LOVE. A good Batman book months before Morrison gets his shot? Yes, it is true. Paul Pope is a category unto himself. He transcends style, genre, sexual orientation, and hair style preference. Batman Year 100 is like a snort of future coke (in the future they make it not bad for you and it's not for dumbass fratboys anymore).

These are not thorough reviews, but I wanted to put them out there for you people to know.

Always remember to check out the size of the tits on that concentration camp.

Love,

Joe

Parties Designed To Thrizzle

2006-02-07T14:56:00.000-05:00

Friday night was the Brooklyn Premiere of Michael Kupperman's TALES DESIGNED TO THRIZZLE #2, a book we here at LTUWR love and heartily endorse.

Joe, Brant, and myself were in attendance at the Book Release party- the only LTUWR contributor missing was Paul. That is because he is lame.

Heidi MacDonald gives a nice report of the event here along with her reaction to THRIZZLE... she pretty well sums up what's so great about the book. It keeps you laughing long after you've finished it and put it down.

(Hopefully party pictures will be forthcoming... for info on future Brooklyn-type events, be sure to always check the ROCKETSHIP link to the right...)

edited to add pictures!

The crowd was Out Of Control...

We usually have lots of pictures of the artist signing away, or Joe Rice drunkenly mugging, but this time we only have crowd shots, and this curious shot of myself and Joe's sister-in-law....

It was a blast.

Act-I-Vate

2006-02-01T09:53:00.000-05:00

I'm sure this is probably all over the place, but there's a new spot for some ongoing online exclusive comics, from Dean Haspiel, Nick Bertozzi, Josh Neufeld, Leland Purvis, Tim Hamilton, Michael Fiffe, Dan Goldman, and Nikki Cook. Check Act-I-Vate out, because I said so.

Judging By the Cover

2006-01-30T23:08:00.000-05:00

A roundup of links:

Penguin Classics has commissioned Chris Ware, Art Spiegelman, and other comic book artists to give new covers to old books. The Millions has the art.

Michael Paulus has undertaken an anatomical study of cartoon characters such as Charlie Brown and Marvin the Martian, having drawn their skeletal systems.

Forbes Magazine has published a list of the ten most wealthy fictional characters, including Lex Luthor and Bruce Wayne, and estimates their wealth.

Quite Frankly

2006-01-23T09:59:00.000-05:00

Frank Quitely surely doesn't (or shouldn't) need my defense of his work, but I think his character work is SO subtle, that people may miss some of the details on first glance. I know I do.
So I will point out some of the things I missed the first time reading ALL STAR SUPERMAN 2, with regards to how the characters are behaving, body language, "performances", etc...

Please forgive my nerd obsessiveness here. It happens to the best of us.

Page 1- Notice Lois' pursed lips, and how she stares into space. Not only is she questioning him, but she's almost annoyed by it. She casually reads a paper as they fly; playing it cool. She's being the investigative journalist here- nonchalantly trying to find cracks in his story, as if she doesn't even care.
And in panel three, Superman is *pulling* the car through the air, not lifting it. A smoother ride, no doubt!

Page 2- Of course he opens the door for her. Of course.

Page 4- Okay, not only do the robots move in unison, but if you notice how Superman carries his arms as he walks (slightly lifted, with his hands dropped in loose fists), you'll see the robots move the same way.

Page 5- There is pride in Superman's face, as Lois grills him about the key. A sly smile, and arched eyebrows. Notice how he looks up at her eyes, as he sets the key down, and has a hand on her shoulder as she tries to lift it. Lois has palpable strain in her face there, not gritted teeth, and bugging eyes, but it's apparent she ain't gonna lift that key. And in the last panel, look at how she still get's amazed by him. Hand in the hair, eyes wide open, jaw slightly dropped... after all this time, she can still be floored.

And if that isn't a Classic-lookin' Superman, as he looks off into the Fortress, I dunno what is.

Page 8- Superman gives Lois flowers, and he's kinda shy about it, standing there like a little kid. Lois also seems a little shy, with her hands crossed in front of her, and her back straight, as if she's nervous. They're both like kids on a first date... and if you think about it, that's what this is.

Page 9- Lois is back to being slightly annoyed and pensive. She doesn't believe that he's Clark kent, and is irritated that he's saying it. (Let's face it... whether she believes him or not is beside the point- she wanted to break that story, and now he's ruined it for her.)
Arms crossed, not looking at him, teasing him. She's questioning everything he says ("Kal Kent, Huh?")
Superman, on the other hand, is trying to show some pride in his home without letting his secret slip. Look at him there, as he looks at the floor when he lies to her about his health. His shoulders are drooped, he's leaning in the wall for support. He hates this lie.
The last panel is one more look of Total Sincerity from Big Blue. "The Dawn of the Age of Superheroes." You know he means it... that fortress really isn't for him- it's his gift to posterity. Total selflessness.

Page 10- Lois peering into the pit cautiously. Superman striking the anvil, like Hephaestus, in a perfect classical pose. Casually and happily throwing stars to the pit, like confetti. It all still makes him smile. Lois still acting unimpressed, with those arms crossed and a sideways smile. It's the world's strangest Bogart and Bacall scene.

Page 11- You can see the apprehension in Lois' face, even though she's mostly looking the other way. Those hands are up again, nervously playing with each other. There's fear and confusion as she reaches for her chest. And genuine surprise when superman startles her. As they walk away, look at her face, and tell me Quitely isn't, in a few small lines, telling the reader a multitude of emotions.
Superman, distracted by the fun he's having feeding the sun-eater, has let her wander off. When he pops back in, he's stern but not angry, and as they walk away, he's got that gentle hand on her shoulder again.

Page 12- They stare into each other's eyes, and lean into the conversation like a couple about to make out for the first time.

Page 13- Lois is using her fork as a prop, punctuating her words with it like a little weapon. There is genuine hurt in Superman's eyes when he sees that she really doesn't trust him. He can't even look at her as she storms away from the table.

Page 14- First of all, Lois is typing so furiously that her hands have an after-image. But check out Superman- He's looking at those Kent glasses, questioning the entire ruse. There's guilt there, and shame, and you can tell he's wondering if it was all worth it.

Page 15- In my favorite moment from the book, Superman slumps as Clark, but the Mirror of Truth still shows Superman standing tall.
And then there's Lois, angry. She's worked herself up into a frenzy, and she's looking like one of those rage-filled Corben women, ready to drink blood.

Page 16- Look at that run! Again, with the Windsor McKay!

Page 17- She leans right in to grill that hologram, in full journalist mode. Look at the surprise and wonder on her face, before she slowly leans back, confused.

Page 18, 19- In full paranoid mode, she's frantic, filled with rage, worried and on edge. She's hunched over, ready to strike. Knees bent, ready to sprint, and clutching that gun like it's her last hope. No arch-backed Witchblade posing here... her fear is totally real, and she's drawn herself in, huddling with that gun.

Page 20- I love the way she lifts off the ground, just a little, as she fires the gun, and catches Superman in mid-stride.
Superman's look here is absolutely great. He's not hurt, not in pain, not angry, not sad. He's surprised. He's looking at himself, amazed. he can't believe he's not hurt, and continues with this amazement in his next panel, staring at his unfazed hands.
Lois, on the other hand, is more conflicted than ever. Snapped out of the paranoid frenzy, she is wrought with shock, and shame, and sadness, and worry. The way she's standing in the last panel says it all; she's about to drop that gun, and she's frozen there, hunched over and pigeon-toed, worried about what she's done.

Page 21- What a great first panel. THIS is waht Superman is all about. Lois just tried to kill him, and look at her face; total shame, like a small child. But Superman couldn't be more gentle about it. He's smiling at her, and slowly taking the gun away with both hands... What a great moment.
Then he's comforting her, with that hand back on her shoulder.
Lois is covering her face through this, with a mix of guilt and physical discomfort... The effects of the gas are wearing off, and you can tell that she's dizzy and confused.
But when he tells her what her present is, she perks up slightly. Sadness is in her eyes, but her mouth is starting to smile again.

Page 22- The pride in his eyes, and the understated joy in her face say all there is to say. She's not looking at the reader, but man, you get it all from the way she's standing, the placement of her arms, the way her jaw has dropped, how straight she's standing.... very subtle, very perfect.

It's all so wonderful, and this is just the body language! No word on the layouts or the design, or the pacing.

This Quitely guy is some sort of master.

Oh, Paul . . .

2006-01-20T16:02:00.000-05:00

Don't you know that boners are SO All Star Superman #1? God. You're an embarrassment to this blog and to all comic fans everywhere. Also to your mother, who was always nice to me. But not your dad, he doesn't care.

I'm not going to talk about boners in this post about All Star Superman #2. But I'll say this: before getting All Star Superman #2 I had horrible runny poo, the worst stomach virus I've ever had. Since getting it: AOK #1 Good Time Joe!

So there's that. It cures horrible runny poos. Even before you insert it into your anus slowly using a water-based lubricant.

Superman: Murderer

2006-01-19T10:41:00.000-05:00

Good morning.

Well, I guess you can call it that. It is a morning of mixed emotion for me. Let me explain.

I killed eighteen people on my way to work this morning.

I guess I should back up a little more. Yesterday, as you know, All-Star Superman #2 came out. In case you were wondering, I did decide to go ahead and buy it. I was on the fence for a long time about that, but I finally said what the hell and plunked down the dough.

When I got home and read it, I finished the last page and my imagination immediately coopted all of my bodily functions. And much like our friend Joe, I was drained of all my fluids. Unlike Joe, it was because my body was undergoing some sort of metamorphosis. I was placed into a kind of oneiric coma while my physical form encased itself in a cocoon composed of pure quixotic energy. That's the only way I can think of to describe it.

Anyway, these are all kind of details. When I awoke seventeen hours later, I found myself...different. Words kind of fail me on the metaphysics of it all, so I'll speak to what I can...I have no arms or legs anymore. My heart thumps dramatically throughout my body now. My trunk or torso has almost...ossified, for lack of a better term. My head...my head is single-minded and driven, pounding towards its goal with a crystal clarity that I haven't felt in a very long time (Since I was a teenager rifling through my neighbor's underwear drawer, curiously). I'm sorry I'm doing such a crappy job of describing all this, but you can imagine how traumatic this must be for me.

Instinctively I guess, I found myself on my way to work. I tried the car at first, but that was problematic. This next part is where it gets hard for me, so bear with me, please. Anyway, I kind of...kegel-ly thrusted myself to my building today. And, oh god, this is where I start to cry. I...god...I...don't...no...I...I impaled them. All 18 of them.

I'M A LIVING GODDAMN BONER AND I IMPALED ALL EIGHTEEN OF THEM, OKAY?!?!?????

Jesus, fuck...so now I'm a murderer, right? Murder by erectile transmogrification. I didn't mean to do it, I didn't even think it could be possible. I mean, would you? WOULD YOU?? Oh, shit, those people have families. They have FAMILIES.

I can't...I can't just...I don't want to...wait a second...what's this rolled up in my back pocket?

Oh...when my wife was dressing me this morning...she must've thought...

She let me bring ASS #2 to work!

Fucking sweet!

Wait...how am I going to turn the pages?

NOOOOOOOO!!!!! Argh!

2006-01-18T10:23:00.000-05:00

It's my birthday today!

All Star Superman comes out today!

Runaways, Mr. Miracle, and Schizo too!

And Amazing Joy Buzzards came out last week!

But guess what.

I got a stomach virus this morning and can't leave my goddam toilet for more than an hour!

ARRRRRGHGHGHGHGHGGGG!!!!!!!!!!

An Important Story

2006-01-17T11:32:00.000-05:00

For some reason, we have no heat in our apartment.
This is a "bad thing", being that it's somewhere shy of freezing outside.
It's a strange phenomenon, as our building's steam heat has been blasting full throttle for the past few weeks, during the fluke warm spell when we needed it least. No longer though, and our radiators are as cold as delicious frozen tofutti.

The thermostat is in the apartment on the ground floor, and it appears that those folks are "gone fishin'" or something. No sign of human life. So I am currently wearing:
-pajamas
-sweatpants
-long-sleeve tee
-fleece housecoat
-hoodie sweatshirt
-and the thickest socks imaginable. I am under a heavy blanket, and wrapping my hands around a hot coffee mug. The cats are huddled with me for warmth. I am thinking about going somewhere warm, but that would involve changing clothes, which would be a cold, cold, cold five minutes. I'm mostly warm where I am.

The point is, I call bullshit on the Fortress of Solitude. Arctic homes are losing more and more appeal as the day goes on.

On a related note, ALL STAR SUPERMAN #2 ships tomorrow, which warms my heart. Also arriving is MISTER MIRACLE #3, which might be the most disturbing SEVEN SOLDIERS yet. I was totally horrified reading it, and had to turn away a few times, like my girlfriend does during horror movies. I liked it quite a bit, but it gave me the willies. I'm interested in hearing other reactions...

2005: It Sucked!

2006-01-06T09:55:00.000-05:00

Oh yes, it sucked, but in ways both Good and Bad. I had quite a year; in many ways it was the Year I Grew Up. In other ways, it was the Year I Grew A Beard. Let us look back, shall we?

-I GOT TWO CATS
Wee Linus and Lucy came to live with me. The are fat and fluffy and love to beat the shit out of each other. I love those goddamn cats.

-ALL STAR SUPERMAN
The original Man in Tights is back. My favorite author and one of my favorite artists brought me a simple story about a man who only does good. I ate it up with a wooden spoon, and re-read it until the staples fell out. I drank in the art like milk with cookies, and I felt like an eight year old all over again. Not since NEW FRONTIER has my nerd weiner been so fondled. SEVEN SOLDIERS came out of the heavens as well, pulled from the rushes in a basket, and delivered to me in swaddling clothes. It was a good year to read comics. Aside from Grant Morrison, there were lots of delicious treats. But everyone knows that. It was a good year.

-I WAS FIRED.
Yes, dear hearts, I was fired from my job, a first time for yours truly. You could say that it was foolhardy to start planning a store while working in another, but due to a myriad of reasons, I had no choice. The timetable and the schedule was tight and prickly. So I was fired from my job, when my former employer found out I would be opening my own store. C'est La Vie! I hated that job anyway. It was pretty much the worst work situation I've ever been in, and the honest truth is that I was damn near suicidal. I won't go into details as to why it was as bad as it was (and it was bad), but I would walk into work and stare off into space and want to die. Anyone who knows me has (no doubt) seen my demeanor go from despondent and hopeless to stressed and frantic. A great improvement, thanks to being fired.

-MY GIRLFRIEND MOVED IN
I'm all growed up, now! The Love of My Life, my sweet blonde baby, moved into my Brooklyn home and proceeded to make it all messy with screen print paints and shoes. Great Odin's Raven does that girl have shoes! I've never seen so many! Aside from the mess she has brought to my once-spotless home, I now drink more coffee (she makes a full pot every morning, and only drinks half a cup), I am sometimes made to change my clothes if they do not "work", and I feel bad about practicing my banjo when she's trying to read. It's great. We still have Hellboy toys on the shelf and comic art on the walls, but now there are a few more throw pillows and votive holders. And it smells like flowers rather than musty books. Good times!

-KING KONG
As long as DVDs have existed, I've been waiting for the beautiful, restored, super-duper edition of the 1933 masterpiece about a monster who bites people's heads off. It's probably my favorite adventure, full of high seas adventure, dinosaurs, violence, savages, bi-planes, and one sultry blonde vixen. And now the DVD is mine all mine!

-I OPENED A STORE
I co-own a business now. All growed up! Trying to make this place something wonderful has been a fun five months, and sometimes, it almost makes me happy. We've done far better than either of us expected, and I think we'll be around for a long, long time. There's a lot of doom and gloom and naysaying about The State of Comics, but from our point of view, things are rosy. Everybody loves comics!

-I'M STILL NOT THIRTY
I'm in my twenties for a few more months. For some reason I thought I was supposed to turn thirty this year, but my girlfriend pointed out that I was wrong. I'm not so good at math.

Here's hoping that 2006 isn't as crappy as every other shitty year in my stupid life. Hooray!

WHY KAMANDI IS THE BEST COMIC EVER (and if you disagree you are wrong)

2006-01-04T13:46:00.000-05:00

Want a recipe for delicious comic goodness?

Take one cup of cut-off pants.
Add a tablespoon of feathered hair and a laser gun.
Mix in an ample portion of talking animals, including Tiger Pirates and Dogs dressed as Prussians.
Pour in a gallon of Apocolyptic wasteland filled with Giant Grasshoppers and Atomic Mutant Men with Cyclotronic hearts.
Stir it all into a Jack Kirby casserole dish and let simmer at a million dgrees for twenty years.

When that pie comes out, it will be the most tasty thing you've ever put in your mouth.

KAMANDI rules with an iron fist clutching a toblerone. It is my favorite comic series ever, and this is probably my fourth or fifth blog post about it. I can't stop kneeling at it's altar. It beckons me into the heavens with an unearthly light, and there are one hundered virgins waiting for me on the other side.

First of all, the protagonist is named Kamandi, which is the best name ever. He was named after the bomb shelter underworld he grew up in. Minnesota Fats, Tennessee Williams and "Command D" Kamandi. Secondly, he wears the coolest outfit ever. Feathered hair like Keith Partridge, no shirt (who needs one?), and cut off jeans with cavalry boots. Add a holster with laser pistol, and you have the perfect ensemble for a Last Boy on the Go. He is a tough little joe with spunk and wits and a mute girlfriend named Flower who is retarded. His best friend is a scientist dog, but he also hangs with Ben Boxer and the Mutant Boys, three hippies with Cyclotronic hearts.

(Apparently if you have a cyclotronic heart, you can punch yourself in the chest and turn to steel. Tell me that doesn't kick ass.)

The art is late-seventies kirby at it's most insane; fluid and clunky at the same time, with strange POVs, maddening splash pages, and dizzying spectacle. It will make your head hurt with crazy-dynamic panels poking you in the eye at every turn. The designs of talking animals look like people in bad costumes... you can almost hear their muffled lines under latex masks. But that only adds to the deliciousness. You still want to scratch all those doggies behind the ears, even if they are pointing cannons at you and enslaving humans. Cute widdle guys!

KAMANDI is what happens when you watch PLANET OF THE APES and then think, "Charlton Heston is a pussy. And what's with only having the post-apocolyptic world ruled by apes? How about some giant slave-trading snakes and sharks?" Then you draw a kid in a raft paddling away from the half-sunk Statue of Liberty, and everyone who reads it has to have a butthole replacement because their ASSES GET BLOWN OUT. That's how awesome it is.

I encourage everyone to visit their Local Comic Shop and purchase some KAMANDI for themsleves. Then change your freshly soiled undies, ladies and gents.

(If you don't enjoy it you have no soul and probably can not see your own reflection.)

Types of Bloggers

2006-01-04T12:02:00.000-05:00

I thought it would be helpful and informative were I to collect a list of the various comic blogger types out there. Now, of course, none of these types are set in stone. You'll often, maybe almost all the time, see some mixing and matching. And some that defy explanation completely. But here are your basic types.

1. The Snarkster: The Snarkster loves nothing more than to make fun of things he doesn't like. Some of them are true egalitarians, making fun of everything. All-too-often, though, you've got the partisan Snarkster. This person LOVES snark, as long as it's not directed towards something he likes. You'll see a lot of pro-mainstream DC partisan Snarksters. They roll their eyes when people make fun of Infinite stuff, but revel in the degradation of something they themselves do not like.

2. The Jokester: The Jokester is like the Snarkster, but without the malice. They're just having fun. Dave's Long Box is probably the finest example of this sort of blog.

3. The Mangaphile: On the plus side, they have an unrivalled knowledge of manga on these shores. On the minus side, they share said knowledge all the time. They are very interested in expanding the market, and often have ideas about how to do so. Unfortunately, these ideas rarely go past "sell more manga." They often look down on American mainstream books, as if the tastes of 13 year old girls were somehow infinitely superior to those of 13 year old boys (Fruits Basket isn't Eightball, folks, you've got nothing to look down on). Well, their hearts are in the right place. This group is mostly comprised of women and gay men, for some reason.

4. The Intellectual: Not to be confused with the "Intellectual." The Intellectual specializes in long, well-thought-out posts that often have more in common with thesis papers than internet comics criticism. (This can be a very good thing, mind you.) Everyone links to them, and hopes their two sentence reply will somehow forward the conversation.

5. The "Intellectual": Tries very hard to be number four, but fails rather miserably. Long, boring, rambling posts that make little-to-no sense and often bring in outside sources that don't really fit at all. They want feedback quite desperately, but do not handle criticism well.

6. The Anti-Bloggers: Actually more prominent than the "blogosphere" they so desperately want not to be, these are the folks that see themselves as the lone sane voice in a sea of Scott Pilgrim and Street Angel love. They taut their love of crappy mainstream stuff like a badge of honor. They often make snide comments about "hipsters" without having ever witnessed one in real life. There's a hell ton of them, they all love each other, but they think they're outnumbered for some reason. They hate Alan David Doane even more than other people do. (Sorry, Alan. You know I don't.)

7. The Perfect Blogger: They post at Listen to Us, We're Right, and nowhere else.

I don't get it.

2005-12-31T13:27:00.000-05:00

Everyone in the Blogosphere loves ALL STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN (although they always preface positive reviews by saying "I know everyone else hates this" or "I must be the only one that Gets The Joke" or "I know what he's trying to do here- everyone else is missing the point"). I am led to believe that there is some sort of "satire" or "commentary" or "just crazy fun fun big crazy comics!!!". Everyone else out there seems to be laughing out loud and in on some sort of ur-joke that I am missing.

Is this comic actually funny? I am aware that it is ridiculous and over-the-top and whatnot, but I am missing the Big Hilarious Satire that everyone else seems to be reading. I am not a prudish DC nerd upset that Batman is an angry Goddamn Batman. I am not a humorless tee-totaler upset by the (implied) sex and (grisly) violence. I love Sin City and I love insane Comic Booky nonsense.

But I am missing the joke here. I am not laughing out loud. I am looking at this ALL STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN, and thinking that it is written for some other demographic than the one I am in. It's like watching the REAL WORLD or a LIFETIME original movie; it just makes no sense to me. It is possible that Miller just pooped this out, and is spending more time signing checks than doing re-writes, correct? Can we all agree that that is at least a possiblity?

The pacing is bizarre, the strange repetition of phrases is very, very (very) weird, and three issues in, we're still sitting in the Batmobile. I'm mostly bored by this book, and often befuddled. I guess it's me. I guess I'm not "in on the joke". It couldn't be that this simply isn't all that well constructed a comic. That would be impossible, I guess.

I am willing to admit that am just missing the brilliant satire here.

I even sorta enjoyed the absurd shenanigens of the first two issues, but the third issue's interlude with Black Canary just lost me. Is it possible the joke isn't some large parodic commentary, but maybe a big laugh at the reader, for slogging through shit that makes no sense? Because if that's the case, the joke isn't just on the DC nerds who are up in arms... it's on the guys who "get the joke" as well. I am just not seeing the difference in quality between this and say, any other poorly plotted, bullshit comic about Men In Capes.

I mean, as long as it sells well, I guess I should be happy. I just think that the sales might be a hair better if there wasn't suddenly a fifteen page sequence about a bartender getting hassled in the middle of what was previously a cool scene between the Goddamn Batman and Dick Grayson. (And seriously, what the fuck was up with the Superman epilogue? Is this shit really so hilarious to everyone?) I can only imagine the sales if it wasn't trying so hard to be clever and "funny", and just gave us a solid, action-packed story about Batman and Robin. Remember how fun those used to be? I guess I've reached a point in my life where I get my laughs from other sources than mainstream superhero comics.

Maybe someone can explain it to me. I am, after all, a bear of very little brain.

The Joe Rice Imaginary Media Review

2005-12-21T17:01:00.000-05:00

So, here in New York, we have a thing called a "transit strike." That's when one group of people want one thing and another group of people want another so they decide that they're not adults anymore and a tantrum is thrown. Due to this situation, I can't actually go to a real comic book store. So, instead, I imagined that I went to an imaginary comic book store. Here I will tell you what I got and what I imagine I thought of them.

Let me tell you, the new Eightball? Even better than Ice Haven and the Ray combined! It's a sprawling story taking place over several decades, with a detective in the thirties, a knight in medieval times, and some ninjas in the future all trying to deal with their lots in life. It's difficult to explain properly, but the way the story is told, the format of the drawings, actually starts to twist time and space around in a very unique way. The guest page by Chris Ware was something to behold, as well.

Steve Martin's new DC superhero book The Jester is also holding up pretty well. Phillip Bond really handles both the every-day sequences and the wild super action with aplomb. I don't want to ruin any of the jokes, but the sequence with the typewriter is frickin comedy GOLD!

Captain Comet/Adam Strange: Attack of the Galaxy Leeches isn't quite as good as I hoped, but it still kicks plenty of ass. Andy Diggle seems less restrained by editorial mandate here, and Cameron Stewart really gets the feel of pulp science down. Lasers, ships, quips, and intelligent bravado abound in this penultimate issue of the buddy book from space.

Eric Powell hits another issue of The Incredible Hulk out of the park. Just the right combination of action, humor, and spectacle. I know I never say much specific or new about this one, but what else can I say? It's damn awesome.

Quentin Quire: Kid Omega continues to surprise. This "mission of learning and peace" thing really seems to be going somewhere. The conversation with the waitress seemed very authentic. It still feels weird seeing Tomine working on a Marvel book, a mutant book at that. But it's only four issues in. The phone call? Jesus, I felt that.

OK, JLA had some pretty insane stuff this month. Zatanna and Plastic Man's encounter with the Incorrection Board was amazing and spooky at the same time. Cliff's disdain for Red Tornado's dorkiness still cracks me up. And you know I'm not making up that moment that Batgirl and Captain Marvel shared. That was cuter than a bag of puppies. When they turned around and whipped up the house New World's Finest style, I called out a big FUKYEA!

Speaking of which, the new Marvel Family Giant simply cannot be stopped. Oh, man. From the lead story by Morrison and Quitely to Mahfood's goofy bit to Pope's Cap Jr. solo story to Horrocks and Xaime's kickASS Mary story . . .was there a bad story in this? The Vaughn piece was a little weak, and Maggin wasn't at his best, but still . . .this was the best issue yet. Really, really blew me away.

The Amazing Joy Buzzards/Adventures in Rock and Roll/Grammar Police Megabook was a delight unseen by mortal eyes until now. In fact, I'm not sure if I can see it anyway. I can not talk about it further, I'm jizzing too hard and too much to type. Must think of a bad comic.

Oh, yeah. Kurt Busiek's Thor was boring.

Anyway, that's what I got this week. Pretty great, overall. I had to pass up the Absolute Flex Mentallo with all the extras. A little birdy told me it was going to be a Christmas gift.

What did you all think?

Required Reading

2005-12-16T14:23:00.000-05:00

Ian Brill has a great post up about Seven Soldiers. Check it out.

On the other hand . . .

2005-12-16T09:53:00.000-05:00

I also inexplicably love some characters. There are characters who haven't been in a great book for years or decades or even EVER for whom, for some reason, I have this undue affection. It's hard to explain in most cases. Much of it is a gutteral feeling, maybe stemming from childhood love. For this list, I'm going to exclude characters who are currently in a great book (i.e. Plastic Man) or who pretty much ONLY existed in a great book (i.e. Flex Mentallo). I'm talking superheroes that are in bad or terrible books that, who knows why, I still like deep down inside. I don't have much character loyalty; I don't understand buying, say, Thor, just because Thor is in it. But whenever I hear about the following characters showing up, I hope and pray it's finally going to be good, either again or for the first time.

Anyway.

1. The first one is obvious to anyone who knows me at all. I goddam love Captain I also inexplicably love some characters. There are characters who haven't been in a great book for years or decades or even EVER for whom, for some reason, I have this undue affection. It's hard to explain in most cases. Much of it is a gutteral feeling, maybe stemming from childhood love. For this list, I'm going to exclude characters who are currently in a great book (i.e. Plastic Man) or who pretty much ONLY existed in a great book (i.e. Flex Mentallo). I'm talking superheroes that are in bad or terrible books that, who knows why, I still like deep down inside. I don't have much character loyalty; I don't understand buying, say, Thor, just because Thor is in it. But whenever I hear about the following characters showing up, I hope and pray it's finally going to be good, either again or for the first time.

Anyway.

1. The first one is obvious to anyone who knows me at all. I goddam love Captain Marvel. The real one, not some alien who died of cancer or some bland Jheri-Curl (thanks for the catch, there) nobody. Billy Batson. The kid who can turn into the world's mightiest mortal. His great golden age stuff still holds up, unlike a lot of the big superheroes. The entire Marvel Family is awesome (in theory). Great design, great idea, great adventures, just all around great. Unfortunately, they've been mishandled worse than pretty much any other characters since DC got them. The Maggin/O'Neil stories were good, but it didn't last long. Not even Jerry Ordway, with obvious love, could really make them pop in today's world. I have to think that they can work. I tell my students about them and they go wild. Captain Marvel can work, especially if you don't worry about the grown ups who want him to participate in Infinite Crisis or whatever. Give him to the kids. It's sure fire, I guarantee it.

2. Iceman. Yeah, Alex hates him. And he's not been in a good comic since, uh . . .has he ever been in a good comic? Maybe it's because of that Spider-man cartoon. I have absolutely no reason to like this character at all. He's bland, his powers are silly, he looks stupid, and in thirty, forty years he's had ZERO development. But, still, when I think of favorite superheroes, he comes to mind.

I must interrupt this important list to vent. I just wrote the whole thing, tried to post it, and it was lost. Oh, man. I had ten characters with detailed analysis and explanation. Oh, man. This sucks.

IT HAPPENED AGAIN! I WAS TO NUMBER NINE THIS TIME AND IT WENT KABLOOEY AGAIN! ARRRRRRRGHHHHH!!!! That’s it, I’m moving this to Word for now.

Anyway. Jesus. Here we go.

3. Cassandra Cain/Batgirl. Not even Dylan Horrocks made her work, but I think a uberfighting teenage girl with language difficulties has a lot of potential. It’s just never been met.
4. Longshot. Mullet, glowing eye, vague powers, he’s got a lot of hallmarks of suckitude. Somehow, though, that first Mini was awesome. Art Adams was a big part of it, no doubt. But, unfortunately, this favorite of mine got stuck in the Claremont X-Men, which destroys even Alan Moore characters. Dazzler? Shatterstar? Never happened. Longshot may not ever need to come back.
5. Lorelei. Because I liked Longshot, I loved the “L” issue of the Marvel Handbook. And second grade li’l Joey felt funny in his bathing suit parts when he stared at the Enchantress’ sister. For that, I’ll always be grateful.
6. Thermite. An obscure Squadron Supreme character that I only really liked because he had one of those full-body costumes. It’s the Snake Eyes effect.
7. Timber Wolf. I can’t read the Legion after 5YL, it’s crap to me. And the earlier stuff doesn’t do much either. But I loved wolves as a kid, so I loved Timber Wolf. Take equal parts werewolf, Wolverine, Han Solo, and Superman and you’ve got Timber Wolf. I just got myself all excited.
8. Freedom Fighters/Quality Characters: So weird and bizarre, so charming, so underutilized. I always saw them as the “weird cousins” of the rest of the DCU. The ones they all knew about, but tried not to think about. Sigh. Dead now.
9. Madison Jeffries/Box. OK, awesome robot suit? The mutant power to make it do anything? It’s like Green Lantern, Iron Man, and Robotech had this awesome baby that no one ever really used well. I hear Frank Tieri messed with him recently. A shame.
10. I’m forgetting someone. Stupid blogger and its nosaving and stupid school and its firewalls. What EXTREMELY IMPORTANT CHARACTER am I forgetting? This is driving me crazy. Wesley Dodds? No, he was used pretty well. Oh, I remember. Dr. Fate. The first time I heard of him, a friend brought his action figure to school. He was new, different, and therefore I loved him. Unfortunately, he’s boring as a white person talking about white stuff.

OK, that ought to do it for a while. Who are your unexplainable beloveds?

An anecdote

2005-12-15T09:22:00.000-05:00

So I went to my favorite comic shop, Rocketship, yesterday. I was perusing the racks and talking with the fair owners thereof and some foreign person. One of them, I'll call him Mr. C., he was going around recommending books for me to try that I hadn't tried yet. We discussed the fact that Fantastic Four/Iron Man: Big in Japan is frickin AMAZING and not enough people are talking about it. Really, folks, it's GREAT FF stuff, with weird monsters, unbelievably good art, fun moments, everything you could want.

So we keep moving along the shelves and we get to X-Factor. I'm all ready to start making fun of it. Mr. C. points at it and I work up a chuckle.

"This is really good," says he.

"What? Seriously?" I reply.

"Yeah. Actually, yeah." He points out the beautiful Ryan Sook art, can't go wrong there. But, really, the last time I was genuinely entertained by a Peter David book was, hm, X-Factor. There's talk of playing with conventions, that David's annoying habits are reigned in to the betterment of the story, and, yeah, there's that beautiful art. And I've got a soft spot for noir detectives and, uh, Jaime Madrox.

So I give it a try.

And he was right, it was good. A good PAD comic featuring mutants post-Decimation. I can recommend it without reservation, and it makes me feel funny. It's not FF/Iron Man good, but it's good.

Amazing Joy Buzzards continues to thrill and entertain with a slew of guest artists, some that work better than others, but even the least among them gets the job done. You just can't help but love these characters.

Finally got the first two issues of DMZ and Local, and, uh, local boy Brian Wood done good.

Anyway, just basically wanted to talk up FF/Iron Man the amount it deserves and man up and actually admit I enjoyed a PAD book. What a world.

EDIT: I just remembered a PAD-ism that bothered me about this book. He worked in Bill Mumy AND Harlan Ellison into the VERY FIRST ISSUE of his new book. It's like a first year film student that uses all his high school buddies' names in his screenplay. Amateurish and silly.

The rest was good, though.

My Heart Can Feel Hate Too

2005-12-15T00:15:00.000-05:00

Joe and Paul think that they can hate superheroes.... Well so can I! Boy can I ever!

1. Mister Terrific.
First of all, before I even get into the problems with both versions, let me point out that you have to be some sort of self-centered prick asshole to call yourself Mr. Terrific. You might as well call yourself Huge Testicles or Captain Richer Than You or Super Man or something. Jeez Guys! Get over yourselves!
Anyway, you have this rich guy who's good at everything. So does he go to Hollywood and sodomize starlets? Does he arm wrestle Errol Flynn? Does he defeat Howard Hughes in greco-roman wrestling on the moon, winning control of the TWA empire, as he pins him? No. He puts on one of the worst costumes ever, and fights crime by making criminals feel bad about themselves.

He doesn't even have gadgets or gimmicks. He just thinks he's awesome. I hate that guy.

Presently, there's some douchebag in a leather jacket, and the second-worst costume ever. He has stupid things on his ears, and what is either a mask that makes no sense, or shitty Prog Rock stage make-up. Apparently he's not only a surgeon (doctors give you drugs, by the way- and Users are Losers), but he's a triathlete or something lame like that. I really don't know. Geoff Johns writes that book, so I'm pretty sure whatever the deal is with the new Mister Terrific, it's lame. I mean, the guy can't even think of a new name. He took the name of some lame whitey from the forties.

Also, he took some of the suck.

2. ICEMAN
Ice is pretty easy to break. And also, it melts. If you put Iceman up against The Supervillain Duo Flamethrower and Claw Hammer, he'd be over. And those guys suck.

Also, fuck him and those Ice Slides. I never bought into those things, and if there is, in fact, some way to make that shit work, there would be hunks of ice falling out of the sky onto people all day. Not in MY city, you Mutie Asshole.

Let's examine his costume; okay, boots and snow, then just ice. Ice. All over his body. Just ice. That's not a costume, that's performance art.

3. DOC SAMSON
He has a new book coming out from Marvel, by the way. Excuse my while I go roll my eyes for a while.

4. GAMBIT
I know it's fairly common for people to pick on Gambit, but if a lot of people hate him, that's only because he's so goshdarned easy to hate. He has a stupid dialect, always witten by someone with Claremontine habit of finding a few steretypical linguistic tics and using them ad nauseum. He has stupid hair, a horrible costume, and he fights with a stick even though his mutant power involves throwing things. Let me re-iterate here.... He basically creates grenades, yet he chooses to fight people up close, right next to them, with his stick. That's just bad tactics, folks.

I hate "sexy" characters in general, but Gambit and his hard-on for all the female muties is downright creepy. In the mire that has become the X-books in the past ten years* or more, I have completely lost track of Gambit. And for that, I am grateful.

-a

*I would admit to really enjoying Morrison's run, but since you can't say you like anything that Morrison writes without someone saying that all Morrison fans are slavering drones, I will just not mention it.

Superheroes I Hate More Than Joe Hates The Ones He Hates

2005-12-14T14:48:00.000-05:00

I'm not feeling as negative as Joe, but any excuse to bitch, right?

1.) 1990's Superman supporting character heroes. Every single fucking one of these things is an offense against God. Eradicator, Strange Visitor, Gangbuster (he may have been late 80's), the Supermen of America, Agent Liberty, that blue guy with the horns. Et cetera, et cetera, ET FUCKING CETERA. Even as a wee teenager, I knew these characters were bad ideas badly executed. The only possible exceptions to this are Steel and Superboy, who have both only had mere moments of goodness or possibility. 99.99% of the time even they have fucking sucked. Of course, everything about 90's Superman comics sucked, didn't it? Oh, well. We mustn't dwell on it. We have All-Star to keep us warm at night now.

Ok, #1 was just a warm-up. Now to the controversial stuff.

2.) Legion of Super-Heroes. I've tried, God help me, I've tried, but I just do not see the appeal. Keep in mind, though, that I've never read the Giffen 5 Years Later run. I think I need to read that and maybe more of the wacky old stuff with Superboy in it to really get a true appreciation, but everything else I've read hasn't done it for me one bit. A big part of the appeal of the super-hero is, to me, the origin. I think that may be a part of why I'm not such a big fan of Marvel's mutants, too. But the LoSH...most of these kids aren't special, they're just born on the right planet. That's dullsville, daddio.

3.) Daredevil. I may get hung out to dry for this one, but I just think he's stupid. Doesn't mean there haven't been some good comics with him, but I just don't think I get the concept. Why is he the Man Without Fear? Is it because he can't see what he needs to be afraid of? Where does the actual "daredevil" part of it come into play? I just think I haven't read the right origin stories or something, because "blind guy with radar powers" doesn't necessarily translate into "fearless" for me.

4.) Firestorm. Nobody correct me if I'm remembering wrong, but I'm pretty sure that Firestorm was the first character added to the Justice League that didn't get voted in. And that right there was the beginning of the end, wasn't it? I mean, what came next? Detroit. Not that I believe the voting method would work again today, but I'll always feel that things started to go downhill for the JLA as soon as Gerry Conway decided that HIS pet character should be allowed to join. Start of a baaaaaaaaad trend. Fortunately, we got the Giffen and Morrison Leagues out of it. Unfortunately, we got every League before and after. Getting rid of the voting meant that you absolutely had to have a great creator with the right vision on the book. Anyway, Firestorm is lame. What do his matter-conversion powers do, again? Oh, yeah, anything. And he flies...I guess by, uh, changing the air around him into something that, uh, pushes him upward? And if he can make ANYTHING out of ANYTHING ELSE, why doesn't he convert his costume into something a little less horrible? Even Daredevil is afraid of that costume.

5.) Thor. Yea, verily, Thor talks dumb.

6.) The Vision. I'm not a huge Avengers fan, but I always hated the Vision. Oh, woe is me, I'm not human! Shut up, you're a robot! Robots are cool! The Red Tornado was in a similar boat for a while, but I liked that he had a little bit better motif, with the cyclones and shit. Plus he was a Justice Leaguer, and thus better by default. I've actually softend a lot on ol' Reddy, so maybe the Vision will get his due someday. But not likely.

7.) Sub-Mariner. Who cares? Wear pants next time and maybe I will like you.

8.) Hal Jordan. Yes, he was great in his heyday. Yes, he was fantastic in 'New Frontier.' But the modern day? Ultra-Boring. (Geoff Johns, at the very least, is not the right person to try to recapture his magic.) I feel the same way about Oliver Queen. Soon I'll probably feel the same way about Aquaman/Arthur Curry and the Atom/Ray Palmer (and whoever else DC decides to replace after Infinite Crisis). Outside Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman, I think any time you replace one of these characters and intend to keep it that way, it's best to just keep moving forward. The replacement doesn't work out? Come up with a new replacement. This is especially true for Green Lantern, whose concept is very simple and hard to mess up...brave/honest person bestowed with magic ring. Any time you have people leaving and coming back and drama like "OH WHO WILL BE GL" it's usually crap.

9.) The end...for now.

Hey, Bloggers!

2005-12-13T21:27:00.000-05:00

Come vote! Chris Tamarri (distant ancestor of Johnny Tomorrow), the brain behind Crisis/Boring Change has started what I think could be a cool idea. He's taking a poll of comics bloggers about the "best comics of 2005," sort of the way the Village Voice does for music. So if you're another blogger (and you're not a FIWOTT), go on over and vote.

Superheroes I Hate

2005-12-13T11:15:00.000-05:00

I'm feeling a bit negative today, I don't know why. I only read the comics I know will be good, so it's not that. Just a mood thing. My man period.

But I'm going to feed my own negativity and finally post the superheroes I hate. I've been wanting to rant about this for a while. It's embarrassingly nerdy and petty, but, by gum, it's what I feel. So here we go.

1. Green Arrow/Hawkeye: brash "iconoclast" with a bow and arrow. I hate that. It's stupid. Swords are cool in certain situations even in modern times. But bows and arrows are dumb in a superhero setting. And why do the guys who shoot them have the same stupid personality? Oh, they clash with authority! That's so awesome! Except they clash with authority in ways only authority-fearing nerds could imagine. "OOOH BOOTS ON THE TABLE!" I hate these stupid characters.

2. Photon/Captain Marvel/Pulsar/Whatever: Nobody with Jerry Curl should ever be seen again, let alone be called "Captain Marvel." This stupid character seems to have a rabid cult following that I'll never understand. Bland character, stupid powers, awful costume, is there anything appealing about this character at all? The answer is no. She is stupid.

3. Wally West: Ultimate Mary Sue character, to get ubernerdier. He was once a square mid-west guy, even conservative. Then he was a money-loving womanizer. But then Mark Waid wrote him (pretty well, mind you) and he became Mark Waid. Geoff Johns gets him and he's a blue collar workaday guy. He works on that cartoon as a comic relief fellow, and that's kind of how Morrison seemed to use him. But the fact is he's so bland that every writer has to put some part of himself into him. Also, running fast is a stupid super power. And "speedster" is a stupid word that I often can't believe even exists. Because Barry Allen was in the JLA then all the sudden every superhero universe needs a bunch of dorks who run fast. It's stupid. I hate it.

4. Now that you mention it, I pretty much hate all the Wolfman-era Titans. Even if they were neat before, he turned them into whiney soap opera characters and they've never recovered. Dick Grayson, ugh. Raven, zzzzz. Cyborg, snicker. Starfire ROLLEYES. Arsenal, plop. (I don't know what that last part meant.) But look at them, they're all these touchy feely talk about your emotions types and it makes me want to cut off my anus. I hate them, mostly because as the cartoon and cartoony comic has shown us, these could be fun characters, if only Marv Wolfman never decided to write soap opera Marvel stuff at DC.

5. Jean Grey: Stay dead, crapface.

That's it for now. I'm sure I actually hate a lot more of them. Discuss why I'm right.

Smell #2

2005-12-02T11:12:00.000-05:00

I mean "Fell." Fell #2.

I bought this issue on a whim and I tell you I was pleasantly surprised. Ellis loses a lot of the annoying tics that have come to define his work. And though his protagonist is only a shade away from becoming the typical Ellis mouthpiece, I think the format has caused him to have to shed a lot of that extraneous cynicism. This work, at least this issue anyway, feels a lot less...overwhelmingly negative than normal. Which is odd, considering the subject matter and the very fact that it's called "Fell."

Ok, THAT'S an annoying tic that he didn't get rid of...he really desperately needs to stop giving his characters proper names that're actual nouns and verbs! I'm waiting for "SWIRL" starring Thomas Toilet and Jonathan Flush. Can you guys tell I have to go to the bathroom as I write this? This is not a gimmick for the sake of potty humor. I actually have to go, right now. Wish me luck in there.

And I may be alone on this, but I love the artwork.

I'm going to go back and find #1. If #1 and #3 are as good as #2, I'll be adding it to my pull list. I'm not a huge fan of the cheapass binding, but for $1.99, it's worth it. I'm not reading this shit because I care about that.

OK GOD I HAVE TO LEAVE NOW

Claypool, We Hardly Knew Ye

2005-11-30T09:26:00.000-05:00

I realize that this will make me the eight-billionth person to blog about Claypool, but I type nonetheless. It is a sad situation, this eminent demise of Claypool, and I wonder why. Magazines start and fold all the time. TV shows (hell, TV networks!) come and go, but no one seems to get depressed about it. But a comics company that no one knows about folds, and it's really sad. Go figure.

In another life, I worked at a store that ostensibly carried Every Comic Published. That actually only meant that if it was solicited in Previews, we would get at least a copy or two, and in a more specific sense, it meant we carried an issue of each Claypool title. Actually, it meant that we had Claypool books that would sit on a shelf, until they got bagged and filed as back issues. Or sent to the fifty cent boxes.

I never, ever once saw anyone buy a Claypool comic. This is in one of the largest markets in the country. It's certainly not a judgement on the quality of the books, just an anecdotal observation of their sales.

So they may be producing the finest comics ever read by man or beast, but it's all for naught, because they can't seem to sell them. So they go under. Supply and demand. It happens all the time, but for some reason, it seems particularly sad in this case. Why is that?

A lot of Claypool's supporters point out that they've been publishing for ten solid years. So they've published monthly non-stop for a decade, diligently producing books that no one really reads. Am I sad to see them go because I respect their publishing ethic?

The design of the covers is bland, the content is nothing that grabs me, and aside from Elvira's boobies, I can see nothing in these books that exites me at all. They don't make the sales cut, and the axe should fall. It happens all the time in every other form of entertainment media. "This TV show is boring and no one watches it." Cancelled. Easy. But comicdom is a tiny kingdom, and the death of any village always feels like the possible start of a plague.

We meet these creators at conventions, we commune with fellow readers every wednesday, we check the blogs and news sites.... This isn't just business. It's a friend of a friend about to die, and even if that guy got on your nerves and was too loud anytime he drank a few beers, your still sad to hear the news. There are creators involved with Claypool that we kinda know about, and now they have these wee labors of love on a chopping block. The fact that no one reads them is kinda beside the point... it's a sad state of affairs! These are nice guys, making books because they love them, and bugger all if no one else cares. They're in it for the love, and they're about to get the axe. It depresses me to think of it. Ten years is long enough to garner some passing familiarity, and to the Comic Fan (like myself) familiarity is warm and inviting. (Now, if Speakeasy or Alias were to go the way of the Dodo next week, I odubt too many folks would be upset. They haven't had a comforting presence at the bottom of the rack for a decade...)

I think as the next few years come and go, we will see alot of folks fold up their handful of cards and leave the table. We will also see some folks take off their shirts and throw them on a pile of chips, only to be asked to get out anyway. The market is changing, and no one can predict how it will play out. I know that not changing you cover dress for ten years, and not adjusting your failing marketing strategies is no way to go. I know that ignoring the rise of Trade Paperback dominance is not a good thing. I know that if your book is sitting in the Brave New World of book designs by Kidd, Ware, Seth, etc... and can't remotely compare, you will get lost in the shuffle. Still, I hate to see anyone get lost- comics are egalitarian if nothing else. Where else can fat, myopic, awkward greaseballs gain the same respect as slick L.A. television writers? I love comics, and I love the Comics Scene. When part of it dies, one shakes his head and sighs.

So despite the fact that I don't care about the books, and I have actually never seen anyone buy one, I am sad to see Claypool go*. It is kind of comforting, though, to be involved in a hobby where the demise of a company that no one seems to care about can generate this kind of sympathy.
Ahh, the life of a comic fan- I'm depressed for Claypool, but I'm not gonna go out of my way to help prevent it. Cest la vie!

-a

*- I know you're saying "Alex, they ain't gone yet!", but even if they manage to stick around, does it make a difference? At this point, Claypool's biggest exposure is as the company that couldn't meet a minimum order requirement after ten years publishing. It's a bummer, but THEY issued the press release...

Collaboration

2005-11-30T07:25:00.000-05:00

Via Eric Reynolds at Fantagraphics:

Really, though, it was a fairly benign story; the only reason I mention it was the final graph, which featured the following choice words from DC Publisher and legendary Legion of Super-Heroes scribe PAUL LEVITZ, who clearly has his finger to the pulse of the contemporary comics-as-art scene:

"Because comics are done collaboratively, a lot of the best stuff is 'Can you top this?' You've got three or four top practicioners of the art sitting around saying, 'Wouldn't it be cool if'? That's how the best of this stuff builds."

Word UP, man! That's TOTALLY how the best of this art shit builds. Stan Lee couldn't have put it any better. It's like that time Chris Ware was sitting around with his inker, and the inker was all, like, "Shit man, wouldn't it be cool if Jimmy Corrigan had a grandpa that totally went to the old Chicago World's Fair an' shit? I'd love to ink me some of them motherfuckin' buildings!" Or that time when Dan Clowes was talking about Ice Haven over lattes with his letterer, and the letter dude was all, "Bro, I could make some BITCHIN' logos for all of these characters, you should totally break this up into different strips that add up to a more gnarly whole. Let's build this shit UP!"

Heh. I love the FantaBlog.

Quick Seven Soldiers Notes

2005-11-28T11:52:00.000-05:00

OK, first of all, both the last issue of Zatanna and the first of Frankenstein were great. Wonderful art both, though completely different in style. Good stories, great lines, and interesting meanings. My "sister" Jinah is in love with Frankenstein now. And I couldn't help myself but "touch" Zatanna's hand as she reached out for me.

Here are some quick, not-completely-formed thoughts:

1. The Seven Unknown Men seem to be some sort of metafictional device. Two ideas. They could all be different Grant Morrisons, who each wrote the different books. That sees unlikely. Also unlikely but a bit neater, what if (since they're all supposed to be previously-appearing characters) they're all comic writers that have appeared in DC comics? Morrison, Maggin, Schwartz counts . . .I dunno.

2. Zor = Moore? The name, the beard comment, the "bad" magic, in Morrison's mind . . .or is he the Johns/Winnick crew, trying to rewrite reality in a crap fashion?

Anyway, today is my last Make Believe War at Comic Book Galaxy for a while. Blogging here, writing a novel, planning a wedding, and my teaching duties are kind of pushing it aside for now. Hopefully I'll be able to come back to it at a later date.

Amazing Joy Buzzards last week was pretty frickin awesome, from the Yeti sex and Stevo's origin, to katana race car battles to everything else. I love love love that book, and I would even if my name and part of a review weren't printed on the inside back cover.

Gotta go do some other stuff. Enjoy, folks. Hope you had a great Turkey Day.

MY NIGHT WITH SUPERFRANKENSTEIN

2005-11-21T12:56:00.000-05:00

"Uh, Hello, is Dusty there?"

It was six or seven years ago. I was six or seven years younger at that time, maybe. I was working the night shift on a customer service hotline. And spending a lot of my time in a chat room, since I had nothing else to do. I was a sad, sad person.

But I wasn't sad that night. Because Tom Peyer was in the chat with us for a short time. Tom Peyer, of Legion of Super-Heroes fame! I was a big fan. I still am a big fan. But he's also been a part of my secret shame for lo these many years.

See, as wonderfully charismatic and supremely confident as I am on the internet, in person I can be a little awkward if I haven't warmed up (Oh, that old story). In person...and on the telephone, as well.

Mr. Peyer, through my sheer force of personality (and other reasons), was compelled to call the customer service hotline that night. And of course there was a miscommunication right off the bat. I, for reasons that will never become clear ever to anyone, had been chatting that night under the alias of "Dusty Lovelace." So you can imagine Mr. Peyer's confusion when someone named "Paul" answered. "Paul" also appeared to be very slow, possibly mentally handicapped. Because rather than stopping to take a breath and just explain, I instead repeated "No, this is Dusty" two or three times for good measure, talking over him clumsily.

I hate myself a little more just typing this.

When Mr. Peyer realized what type of person he was dealing with, he did his best to calm my nerves and ask me how things were going. Great. Smalltalk. Because that's exactly what I'm going to be able to do right now. I think I stuttered and stammered a bit and probably locked up. It's also possible that I depressed him by actually telling him how things were going. That was the worst year of my life.

The one bit of our short conversation I do fondly remember was me getting the chance to tell him what a great moment he wrote in an issue of R.E.B.E.L.S. The rebels were stranded in the alien dimension that spawned their ship. They were making their escape when one of the characters upturned an overhanging container for cover. The contents of the container rained to the ground, and the character uttered the phrase that would stick with me in my young adulthood:

"Those brains were bouncing around like moopsballs!"

I can't be positive, but it may have been that one scene that inspired me to take a semester of neuroscience as a post-grad. I dropped out of the program when I realized that brains didn't bounce at all. That I'd been lied to once more. Man, it was bad enough my childhood idol Colonel Hogan died from being a sex maniac. Now I had to deal with this, too.

So in conclusion, Tom Peyer, thanks for nothing. No, I mean, that's not what I meant. Thanks for calling me. That was neat, even though I bungled it. I wish I could do it over again, this time without me making you nervous for your life.

Almost as Good

2005-11-19T11:38:00.000-05:00

While ALL STAR SUPERMAN pretty well takes up our whole hearts, there were some other damn fine comics his week.

FANTATIC FOUR/IRON MAN: BIG IN JAPAN #2 was about as good an FF book as there is right now, for my money. Giant monsters and over-the-top superhero action, drawn by one of the most under-rated artists out there. Anytime a kaiju mistakes Iron man for Ultraman, and then makes him a giant sandwich, that's okay by me. I dunno where this Zeb Wells guy came from, but I've really enjoyed everything that I've read by him. His take on the New Warriors was really funny, and this book is just great. Of course, Seth Fisher doesn't hurt things. When the Thing starts to control an antique Giant Robot, it's hard not to smile, and Reed Richards using the trachea of a sea monster to call out in the "Ancient Toungue" is classic. And for those who judge a book by how hot the women are drawn, Fisher's pouty-lipped Sue Storm is pretty darned cute. This is my favorite FF book since Simonson. That's saying something.

The story of "Clyde Fans" continues in PALOOKAVILLE 18, and the plot, as they say, thickens. This will no doubt read betterin one long book, as opposed to annual installments, but I personally think that Seth gets better with age, and it's nice to see the story get more involving with each issue. Almost worth picking up just for the design- these comics are turning into little deco art objects or something...

RUNAWAYS continues to be a really satisfying read, and CRAVAN was a lot of fun. Any week with a Rick Geary book is a good week.

Man, what a fun trip to the comic shop. It's week like this where being a comic fan makes me all giddy and happy.

I'm sure I'll be back to staring into the Void next week, though....

Uh oh! What's this I see?

SEP051682D AMAZING JOY BUZZARDS VOL 2 #2
AUG050264D EX MACHINA #16
SEP050260D SEVEN SOLDIERS FRANKENSTEIN #1 (OF 4)
AUG050234D SEVEN SOLDIERS ZATANNA #4 (OF 4)

Yay next week! Life is okay for another seven days or so!

-a

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

2005-11-18T10:57:00.000-05:00

1. A rescue mission... TO THE SUN. No fucking around here.

2. A new power that is visaully striking, and just downright cool.

3. Blowing a monster into the sun... BY LOOKING AT IT WITH SUPERCRAZY VISION.

4. A four panel origin that sums up the tragedy of Superman like a brilliant haiku

5. The two panel spread of Superman flying around the sun- look at his expression.... does he know he's doomed? He looks like a man ready to die to save just one life... but there's no extended internal monologue explaining everything to us.... just a subtle bit of drawing around the eyes.

6. "Death. Courtesy of Lex Luthor!" When was the last time Luthor was actually scary?

7. Jimmy Olsen has a super-watch and a Jetpack. No six-issue miniseries explaining where they came from, it just simply, awesomely is the way it is.

8. No long winded crap about how much Lois loves Superman. Just a guy who's jealous, and that says it all. She has so much faith in the Big Guy that she writes the headline before she knows anything for sure...

9. The Daily Planet rises above everything else on a serene, sunny day. It's apparently the last bastion of integrity, about to take down an evil man, despite the world against them.

10. Luthor's anger as he stares down a high ranking general. Chilling.

11. "Only NOTHING is impossible..."

12. Superman pushing a testing machine so hard that the whole array comes unbolted.... quietly, in the background.

13. The tour of Quintum's lab... science fiction at it's most insane and lovely.

14. Quintum and his his partner... what strange, vivid supporting characters. Not just scientists in labcoats this time, no sir....

15. "There's ALWAYS a way." Isn't that kinda the point of it all?

16. Superman's determination in his profile, as he looks ahead to death, brave as ever.

17. He saves a boy and his dog. We don't even see it... does anyone? Does it matter?

18. Clark fumbling in a sequence straight out of a Windsor McKay strip. Classic.

19. Clark saves someone. Again, it's not even in the foreground... but he saves everyone he can.

20. Of course the last page; more subtletly and power in showing a dropped basket of fruit than any other version of this scene I've ever read. Superman's sincerity and a quiet sense of importance in what he has to do.

21. Lois is capable and self-confident, but not annoying or obnoxious. Superman is the strong, quiet, likable, and inspiring. Perry White is the kind of editor we wish all newspapers had, and Lex Luthor is genuinely creepy and dangerous. Clark is pigeon-toed.

This is all in one issue. Four plus Superman book a month for the past ten years, and not all of them combined have summed up what is amazing about this character the way this One Comic Book has.

It's pretty okay.

My Erection

2005-11-17T11:20:00.000-05:00

Because I think each of us should post about All-Star Superman at least once a day for the rest of eternity, I thought I would tell you all about what it did to my wiener.

After reading All-Star Superman I popped such a violent stiffy that it socked me in the jaw and knocked me out cold for 13 hours. While I was unconscious, I dreamed I was the man that Clark Kent saved from the train.

When I awoke, I found that my engorgement had not subsided. And, in fact, I now had two black eyes from raucously thrusting my hips in excitement. It's been my misfortune that I've been unable to see enough to type until now. And now I notice that the bulbs on my ceiling fan have been shattered, leaving me only enough light from the windows and the computer monitor to barely make out gorgeous Frank Quitely artwork. I still cannot reread the words on the printed page, and this fills me with sorrow.

But, what's this? Gazing upon Quitely's lines has reinvigorated my priapism. I see now a hole has been smashed through my ceiling. I hear birds chirping. Like Jack from the Fable, I begin to ascend up the mighty stalk to find out where it takes me.

These clouds. Never have I been witness to such fluffy delight. But who is that, resting 'pon them as though he's totally fucking dope-ass chill? Be it a bird? Be it a plane? Lo, it's Superman! Here waiting, in the heavens, to complete my life!

Yes, of course I'll marry you, Superman! But oh! My throbbing member! It is exposed to you! Please, we must save it for our honeymoon! Superman, don't be silly! Of course you can wai--Oh, all right, but we mustn't let my parents find out.

We make love among the clouds and in the swirling flares of Sol. We are taken to places we've never been before. We are rescued. We are free.

Thank you, Grant Morrison.

Thank you, Frank Quitely.

Thank you, boner.

How Awesome Was It?

2005-11-16T22:02:00.000-05:00

Awesome enough for me to spend some time updating an old ugly wallpaper collage I made. Awesome enough for this collection of awesome to go, "Holy crap! That was awesomer than us!" Awesome enough for me to be willing to screw up the look of our site for another week or two.

MY HEART BEATS FAST

2005-11-16T15:31:00.000-05:00

Okay.

Superman is back now.

And not the one that has extended domestic conversations with his wiife and bores us all to tears.

SUPERMAN IS BACK!

The real one, the one that saves everyone, all the time, and lives in a world of super science and amazing nonsense and can bench press a quintillion tons. He can do things we can't even desribe in words, and this is the Superman that made the world love superheroes. This is the man from Krypton that came from the sky to do only good and protect us from evils we can't imagine... He loves the most beautiful reporter in the Biggest city, and his best friend has a jetpack. He always saves the day, even when we have no idea how he's gonna do it....

This is the MAN OF STEEL, and I don't know where he's been, but he's back....

SUPERMAN IS BACK!!!!

A Day That Shall Live in Famy

2005-11-16T12:06:00.000-05:00

Yes, "famy," the opposite of "infamy." Today is the day All Star Superman by Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely comes out. Two brilliant, attractive men working on the world's most famous superhero. Finally. Almost total creative freedom. I'm sweating, I can't wait. I want this school day over with. If I could, I'd send my kids home early, or take them on a field trip to Rocketship. Oh, god.

Oh, man.

This is going to be so awesome. I was less excited about losing my virginity than this. And both instances carry a high probability of early jizzing. Oh, man. How can anyone stand it?

I bet Alex already read it, that jerk. That bastard. You with your comic shop and reading things when they come out. I hate you. I hate you for having something I want a few hours before I have it.

I don't hate you anymore. I love you. You supply me with greatness. A direct line to Morriso-Quitelian genius book. Oh, yes.

Here it comes.

Fantard Rampage

2005-11-09T19:40:00.000-05:00

Haven't blogged much. Writing one of those novel things for NaNoWriMo. When I am a rich pulp writer, I'll forget all about you peons.

But here is a belated tribute to Fanboy Rampage. It is a link to some of the goddam stupidest things I've ever read.

It's about Gene Ha's cover to some Fantastic Four wedding book. Not his strongest work, but it's Gene Ha, people.

The Shadow: Man that was a fun comic!

Anyone know who did the cover art?

Thanks in advance!!!

Doom Hammer: I saw that cover in the previews...I have nightmares, man. Sue looked like a guy. A homely guy.

The Shadow: LOL

They should have got Greg Land to draw it!

I'm just curious who the artist is because I'll know to avoid whoever it is next time! LOL

Greg G-D Land?

Man, there's no saving these people.

GO ASK ALEX

2005-11-09T19:15:00.000-05:00

These are the books that I read today, and some lame capsule reviews.

WALKING DEAD 23
Tough guys beat the shit out of each other. They talk about events I forgot. I long for zombies to eat them. I flip through the pages faster and faster.

LOCAL 1
Nice little character study, with lovely art and a well executed structure. The art is Paul Pope lite with zip-a-tone, and that ain't a bad thing. I really like the main character, and this looks to be a fun road trip of a series.

DMZ 1
Scarily believable. Terrific art and a cool premise. Again, looking forward to where it goes.

ESCAPIST 8
The Escapist books are usually pretty fun, and the talent that they get to work on them is impressive, but I always finish reading them with a shrug and never really remember what happened. It's like smoking bad hash. Pretty art and stories that make me turn the page, but when it's all said and done, I can't say that I pooped myself or anything. (The last time I read a Philip Bond story it was VIMANARAMA and I DID poop myslef, so my standards are pretty high.)

INFINITE CRISIS 2
Glutton for punishment or bored on a rainy day? Both, I guess. This is a big weird aimless mess, with WAY WAY WAY too much backstory exposition for my taste. Can't we just assume that anyone reading this already knows the entire fucking history of the DCU, and stop with the boring-ass crisis re-caps? And what's up with Power Girl's saggy tits? I mean, come on!

STUFF I LOOKED AT OR FLIPPED THROUGH OR WHATEVER

DANGER GIRL: BACK IN BLACK
I'll admit it; DANGER GIRL is pretty fun, and that Campbell guy, despite the hype, still draws some good comics. This has a cheesecake cover, which I can support, and some cheesecake insides, which I can support, but the story just never grabbed me. I'll probably give it another shake. I'm sure it will be entertaining, in a THREE'S COMPANY kinda way.

ULTIMATE CASPER
Ohhhhh yeah. That's the stuff. Save that for later. Spooky? Wendy? Hell yes.

GOTHAM CENTRAL
Blah blah blah blah. That's what I saw when I flipped through. Not really a fair review, but I swear I could care less about these characters in this situation. This book runs more hot and cold than any book I've ever read. When it's good, it makes my head explode like a sniper hollow tip. When it's lame (see: any Montoya story... ever.), I black out from boredom and somehow end up in Omaha with no shoes. THAT'S bored, my friends.

My pick this week? Either DMZ or LOCAL. Or CASPER for sure. Harvey books rule with an iron fist.

-a

POWER!!!!

2005-11-02T21:12:00.000-05:00

The Power of Seven Soldiers: I can read the first issue of Bulleteer and think, "Hm. That was kind of neat," but not just think that, because every other time I've thought that with this series, the next issue quickly made me go, "HOLY CRAP THAT WAS AMAZING!" So now, what might have been a disappointing issue just makes me excited about the next one. You know, how great days usually follow totally crappy days, so sometimes in the middle of getting splashed by garbage water you're like, "Oh MAN tomorrow's going to rock!"

The Power of Full Issue Advertisements: It was a good idea, Mr. Kirkman, and I hope it works. Your boy got some great lines and let's hope some of these Marvel/DC-only nerds can cross over to your better work.

The Power of Real Cathartic Build: Jeez Louise, I haven't wanted Frank Castle to kill bad guys more than this ever.

The Power of Great Lines Uttered by Russians: "I'm surrounded by caucasions." "That was unlikely." "I keep telling you, this isn't an American story. It's Russian." Enjoy Winter Men, guys. The story is keeping up with Leon's patented gorgeosity.

Party Party Party NERD

2005-10-30T15:56:00.001-05:00

As mentioned over at our sister blog, Rocketship, there was a big nerd shindig this weekend. Here are some more photos from the event.

The only time in the history of mankind that a firearm has been this close to an issue of Optic Nerve:

Your Humble Bloggers with Mr. Ed Cunard:

And, of course, people eating cookies:

Next time, be there!

A Good Mormon

2005-10-27T19:09:00.000-05:00

Go out and buy a few copies of the Mike Allred Solo if you haven't already. Man, it's fun. It's more fun than playing lazer tag in an abandoned building in the dark, and that's REAL FUN. The art is, of course, beautiful. My favorite story was the Teen Titans party, which is everything that Teen Titans comics should be, but haven't been (in the DCU) since the sixties or so. Get Allred on a Teen Titans title immediately. Quicker than immediately.

There's also an "Adam West" Batman story that certain walking catty stereotypes are taking personally. It's both an allegory about today's superhero comics and an examination of art and philosophy. It's also pretty and fun. Of course, it comes down on the side of "Adolescent, nihilistic superhero comics are pretty stupid." And it's also, generally, preaching to the choir. The folks who are going to agree with Allred are the ones who generally are already reading his stuff. He's right, but I didn't really need to read it. But that almost sounds negative . . .this book is incredibly fun. It is the love of superhero comics. Enjoy it.

Coming Soon!

2005-10-25T16:45:00.000-05:00

Get ready for...

Oh how silly!
Do you think that's ridiculous? Of course you do! Well, on Bizarro World, where it's called "Sexy Chix", it's coming soon from a major publisher. On Bizarro world, BIZARRO LOIS NO MAKE COMICS! WOMEN IN COMICS AM STRANGE! BIZARRO MAKE ANTHOLOGY SHOWING HOW FEW WOMEN MAKE COMICS, IGNORING THE MANY MANY POPULAR FEMALES IN ALTERNATIVE PUBLISHING! DESPITE YEARS AND YEARS OF TOP NOTCH WOMEN CARTOONISTS, BIZARRO ANTHOLOGY WILL FEATURE MANY WRITERS WHO NO DRAW AT ALL!

ON BIZARRO WORLD, "SEXY CHIX" AM GREAT TITLE!

Oh, wait. That's not on Bizarro World at all.

Uh oh....

(This post brought to you by the Bizarro World Chamber of Commerce)

Continuity

2005-10-25T16:36:00.000-05:00

Ok, nerds, let's get nerdy.

Today I came upon this quote from a writer I once liked as a younger man, but whose "stuff" I haven't been able to stand since before his first DC tenure was over, Peter David. Let's read, shall we?

"A shared universe, like any fictional construct, hinges on suspension of disbelief. When continuity is tossed away, it tatters the construct. Undermines it."

I read it and got annoyed. [A side note here: I'm trying to write this so that I can still access it from my work computer on my off-periods. There are vulgarity filters at work. I'm finding it rather difficult.]

Let's take it apart, piece by piece.

The first statement is that fictional constructs hinge on suspension of disbelief. I call total horseshit on that. I have never, ever, ever read a comic book or seen a movie where fantastic things were happening and thought, "Hey, yeah, that could happen," or "Hey, that's not possible!" It's fiction. I don't need to believe it. I need to enjoy it or feel enlightened by it. When Wolverine shows up in eleven different books, that doesn't affect my reading of any of them (if I actually read them). Suspension of disbelief is a stupid little crutch that people fall back on when they don't like how something is being done or portrayed. Especially in superhero comics. I can't believe my eyes when I see people complain about losing their "suspension of disbelief" in a book about guys shooting lasers out of their eyes at each other. Where is that line of "Oh, this is total bull now"? It's apparently not at someone flying or breathing water. But one story contradicting another, WHOAAAA NOW! HOLD UP THERE SOLDIER! That's silly. It's some weird anal need for everything in the world to fit together neatly. It doesn't, so why should it in fiction?

Next, "When continuity is tossed away, it tatters the construct." More melodramatic bull. When continuity is tossed away, it frees writers to write stories. Green Lantern: Rebirth had a talented writer and an admirable goal. But the entire thing became so mired in making sure every little continuity point ever was addressed and placated, it became more of a terrible fan fic reference book than a story. A lot of the worst stories in mainstream comics came about from some need to address continuity. Anything with "crisis" in it not written by Grant Morrison or Gardner Fox, for instance. Marvel's X-books post Morrison for another. There may have been good stories written with heavy continuity, but they weren't good because of it, they were good in spite of it.

"It undermines it."

It just blows my mind that there are people out there for whom this is an issue. The "undermining" of the "tapestry" or whatever. It's not a real place, folks. It's a collection of stories. Do you need to believe in it so that you can pretend to be there? Isn't that taking "escapism" a little too far? Let writers write. If they want to tie stories into something else, that's great. If not, don't force it. You'll get a poorer story for it. And loosen up. For proponents of such escapist fare, these continuinerds get all worked up about it. Enjoy the stories you enjoy and ignore the ones you don't. But don't bring other people down because you want everything a certain way. Grow up and let go.

The Fun Stuff

2005-10-24T10:15:00.000-05:00

I wanted to highlight some smaller works that deserve greater attention:

Jesse Reklaw over at Slow Wave draws four-panel comics of different people's dreams. They're often surprisingly funny and sad at the same time.

Craig Robinson at the amusingly lo-fi Flip Flop Flyin' has two "What If" charts where, in the first, he plots the possibile turns his life might've taken up until this point, and, in the second, the turns it might still take.

Jason Shiga at Shiga Books has published an online version of his inventively designed choose-your-own-adventure comic book Meanwhile.

Lastly, I'd like to recommend anything by Tom Gauld over at Cabanon Press. His longer works aren't available for viewing online but are well worth buying. Guardians of the Kingdom and Three Very Small Comics, Volume Two are both tours de force of fantastical dry wit.

One week till Halloween

2005-10-24T09:43:00.000-05:00

So what could be more gruesome than a Make-Believe War about the horror comic known as Optic Nerve? Read it and find out!

Also note that Optic Nerve is not really a horror comic, but I just desperately needed a segue.

Amazing Cartoon

2005-10-19T21:08:00.000-05:00

A fellow by the nome de plume of CRAZY OLD NIGG@ just posted a cartoon I can't stop laughing about at CBR. Now it goes on ourwebsite until it gets pushed off. Enjoy it with me, folks.

Cartoonists! Stop Trying!

2005-10-19T10:06:00.000-05:00

According to THE NEW YORKER (clickie on yon title of this very post), it's already as good as it's gonna get! JIMMY CORRIGAN is the shit! Stop bothering to do great work, because according to one of America's premiere magazines of cultural criticism, JIMMY CORRIGAN is as good as it will ever get.

Beaucoup Kevin (http://www.beaucoupkevin.com/) has already ripped it apart, but for fuck's sake! What a ridiculous article! I still can't get this one quote out of my brain...

"Accordingly, there may never be another graphic novel as good as Jimmy Corrigan, even by Ware himself...."

Let's play a game for a moment.

Accordingly, there may never be another rock album as good as Surfer Rosa, even by the Pixies themselves....

Accordingly, there may never be another painting as good as Madame X, even by Sargent himself....

Accordingly, there may never be another movie as good as Sunset Boulevard, even by Wilder himself....

Accordingly, there may never be another religion as good as Islam, even by Mohamet himself....

This is fun!

Try it for your very own, in the comments! The winner gets a prize!

-a

Ah, crap.

2005-10-17T17:42:00.000-05:00

Gone are the days when I can tease Alex about how much GL crap comes out week after week. All the expensive replicas and statues and snowglobes, when the Big Red Cheese only occasionally gets a cheap action figure.

But things are changing.

Looks like it's time to stop liking Captain Marvel. I heard they "killed" him, anyway. Now I need to start collecting all the Amazing Joy Buzzards stuff I can find.

Including the first issue of the new volume, out this week!

My Favoritest New Blog

2005-10-17T15:09:00.000-05:00

I almost never "link-blog" or whatever the kids are a'callin' it, but I check this one place every single day, and whenever he hasn't posted anything new, I get sad as the dickens.

DAVE'S LONG BOX, you rule!

He's in the midst of giving out his favorite comic "Fuck Yeah" moments, so I give him the LISTEN TO US "Fuck Yeah!" salute, from our bud Awol...

Dave's Long Box, this Bud's for you.

-a

Your Humble Narrators

2005-10-16T14:17:00.000-05:00

Could we be any handsomer?

Verily, we are the handsomerest.

Cartoonists of My Youth

2005-10-15T19:04:00.000-05:00

Number One

I remember fairly clearly the moment, as a youngster, when I realized that I enjoyed the work of certain artists more than others. For years, I followed characters. If it had Spider-man in it, I wanted it. Cyclops. The Beast. Superman. I would pick up whatever I could with these guys featured in betwixt the covers.

And then came Uncle Walt.

I was a fan of the original X-Men, so if a book had Cyclops, The Beast, or Iceman, I was reading it. CLASSIC X-MEN and X-FACTOR were my Dirty Mutie books of choice, and while both were good, when Walt Simonson took over the drawy chores on X-FACTOR, my wee heart took notice. There was something in his scratchy (yet deliberate) linework that resonated in my pre-teen brain. After that, I started reading the credits of my funnybooks more closely, and following certain artists with obsessive aplomb. I was lucky to have a quality comic shop nearby, so I was exposed to a wide variety of cartoonists, and before I was ten I was treated to the likes of Dave Sim, Bob Burden, and Howard Chaykin, as well as the more mainstream work (at that time) of Mike Mignola, Arthur Adams, John Byrne, and the aforementioned Unca Walt Simonson.

So over the next few weeks, I will recount my childlike love for these Few and Proud, and bring the world up to date with the current status of my love. We will start with a little controversy:

JOHN BYRNE

Oh Canada!

Remember fondly, I do, NAMOR, in his zip-a-toned incarnation as a businessman with a pet gryphon (or whatever the fuck it was). I remember digging out back issues of that book at CENTAUR BOOKS AND COMICS, with frantic anticipation, as I had come to it late in the game and I had no clue whatsoever what was going on. Namor is rich? Why is he not crazy? Who are these vaguely incestuous twins? To this day, I have no answer for those questions.

(Which is weird, because I eventually tracked dow a full run- maybe the questions were more memorable than the answers.)

Anyway, I think my first exposure to the work of Byrne was in his ill-fated SUPERMAN redux MAN OF STEEL. (I say ill-fated, because let's face it, Superman as a character has sucked ass ever since, and like it or not, Earth 2 Supes is coming back to kick ass as we speak. I could give two shits about INFINITE CRISIS, but it's nice to see that a version of Superman that isn't a cry-baby yuppie piece of shit is gonna throw a few punches here shortly. NEW FRONTIER only made me long for Cool Superman even more than usual... but I digress.)

I was unfamiliar with "re-booting" as a tot, so all I could think as I read MAN OF STEEL was that Superman's parent's were sure dressed awfully funny, and whre the hell are they that the buildings look so weird? Accustomed as I was to the Flash Gordon style trappings of Krypton-that-was, all the talk of "gestation matrixes" and "exposed flesh" was awfully strange. But when Kal-El hit Kansas, all was well, and I enjoyed that year or so of Superman ala Byrne. It was fun, as I recall; lots of solid action and ridiculous psuedo science and art that I still hold up as "classic" Superman in many ways.

I was also (as mentioned above) and avid reader of the Marvel reprints. CLASSIC X-MEN was chock full of vintage Byne goodness, and as soon as I put two and two together, my life was all about trading for CLASSIC X-MEN on the playground with the other nerds. Finding old issues of his FF run was a mission as well. The melodrama of it all was spellbinding when I was eleven, and the cosmic wildness that swim around his best issues was dizzying. Also, lest we forget, he could write and draw DOCTOR DOOM second only to the King himself.

After Superman, he spent some time at Marvel doing things that never grabbed me ('cept for NAMOR, which still gives me the weirdies), and then came NEXT MEN, birthed fully formed from his woolly head like a derivative, mostly boring Athena.

I bought NEXT MEN, month after month, hoping that something would happen. Something new and crazy, at least. I was a hopelessly naive young man, and for the most part, comics and the artists that made them never failed to make me giddy. But here I was, getting.... goodness forbid... well, bored. It was a new experience. I was actually deciding to give up a book by an artist I loved, because I wasn't into it.

(Of course, since then, I've become so used to disappointment that being snarky and critical and bitter fits like a sweet tuxedo. Good times...)

I haven't looked back since. His SPIDER-MAN relaunch was hard to take and immediately forgotten by the whole world. In my worthless lil' opinion, his illustrations have lost much of what I loved in the first place; nuances of character and an even balance of subtle and dynamic storytelling. When comparing his current work to something from say, 1986, the current style looks like layouts for something better to come.

Then there's the sad state of DOOM PATROL, and his willingness to dismiss one of my most favoritest books ever in one fell swoop.(If he thinks that a Leatherdaddy Negative Man is more interesting than the REBIS, the world is a sadder place for it...) His forum is notorious as a Bad Place, where he holds court with strange, mean opinions. It's hard not to let his internet persona taint the reading of his work. I guess there is more charisma to his anti-social rants than there is in his comics, because one sure outshines the other. It's a strange state of affairs; CEREBUS, as I read it, suffers not at all from the knowledge that Dave Sim is probably no one you want to spend time with socially.This no doubt speaks to the terrible, awesome talent that burns up the newsprint of CEREBUS as you tear through it like delicious candy. Sim is a master cartoonist, and he transcends the medium despite himself. (Maybe this is why Roman Polanski's movies have lost nothing despite him being a pederast and rapist. A fucking pederast! But KNIFE IN THE WATER never goes sour. Talent can overcome the social ills of an artist... and vice versa.) Of course one hates to judge someone's work based on an impression created by message board posts, but for fuck's sake, getting mad about people calling Superman "Supes"?

Just think about how fucking ludicrous that is for a moment. Just let it sink in. Now get depressed.

His fans (well, two or three loud ones) are a whole other ball of painful wax. They can be so onerous and tiresome that it's hard to count yourelf among them.(Again, it's unfair to judge the world based solely on that forum. I apologize. I'm an asshole.)

And there we are. It's 2005, and with several Byrne books available every month, I read not a one. But goodness gracious, do those glory days of the late seventies and early eighties hold up. They still yield tasty reads, and his Galactus haunts me! I love me some Alpha Flight, and for my money, no one else need ever draw GLADIATOR. His run on STAR BRAND was easily the brightest highlight of the New Universe, and GANTHET'S TALE is one of my favorite Green Lantern stories, based damn near entirely on his incredible sense of pacing a page.

So thanks, Mr. Byrne, for kicking the awesome superheroics at me like a football when I was a younger man. It was great while it lasted.

Next time... Walt Simonson. From X-FACTOR to ELRIC and getting tastier like fine wine.

GRADY
(subbing for alex)

I'm only reviewing this thing once

2005-10-13T19:25:00.000-05:00

So, yeah, a book came out and I keep reading and hearing about it. People seem to love it. It's not really my thing, but I thought I'd give it a chance. I want to review this book, I want to talk about it fairly. No hyperbole. No fanboy idiocy of any kind.

The thing is, as much as its fans like it, this book is not good. The art is completely inadequate. Some art I don't like but I can see why someone else would. I do not understand why anyone would ever look at this and like it. And the story? Well, there isn't really a story, is there? It's just a series of scenes meant to delight a small, insular audience. These pages here are pretty much everything this book is: cloying, poorly-drawn, and unappealing to pretty much anyone in the world outside of a select, tiny audience.

I'm talking, of course, about Will You Still Love Me if I Wet the Bed by Liz Prince. It's very sweet, yes. That's really all it is. It's like a whole book of those moments you never want to be around couples. It, in theory, has some jokes in it, but the punchlines are all on the "Your armpits smell like celery." "I know *CUDDLE*" variety.

People have liked this? This isn't comics. This is Liz Prince's diary, and not even the interesting parts. Just the part where she talks about how she and her boyfriend love each other. That's great, it really is. I guess there's no way to critique this book without sounding like a heartless jerk.

I don't want to be around my friends when they're behaving like this. If Lisa and I acted like this, I wouldn't want to be around us, either.

Avoid it, guys. Yikes. There's such a thing as "too personal" when it comes to some media.

There are some good comics out this week. Legends of the Dark Knight, Ex Machina, the Goon, and the Keep. Fun stuff, all. The last of those is kind of like if Guy Davis and Mike Mignola, during the making of BPRD, made sweet love and had a baby. I like.

Enjoy the good stuff, folks.

For Immediate Release

2005-10-11T15:15:00.000-05:00

The Brooklyn Superhero Supply Co. Spring 2006 Collection
An evening of readings, comedy, and superhero fashion to benefit 826NYC. The event includes new designs for superheroes by Marc Jacobs, Behnaz Sarafpour, Jack Spade, Rebecca Taylor, Built By Wendy, and many more, modeled by Amy Sedaris, the Daily Show correspondents Ed Helms, Samantha Bee, and Rob Corddry, along with Le Tigre frontwoman Kathleen Hanna.If you are in the market for such things, all costumes and
heroic attire will be auctioned after the event, during a private wine reception (see below for details).

Edna Mode, fashion designer from The Incredibles, will be giving her predictions for the coming season, comedian Patton Oswalt appears in a new short film of his making, Sarah Vowell relates her experiences of being invisible, and John Hodgman, renowned expert on so many topics (and author of the forthcoming The Areas of My Expertise) hosts. Music and theme songs will be provided by The Hungry March Band.

This is a one of a kind event not to be missed.

Thursday, October 20th, 8pm.
Symphony Space, 2537 Broadway (at 95th St.)
Tickets are $25 and $75.
$75 tickets include priority seating and access to the silent auction
and wine reception, to be held after the event.
For tickets, call 212-864-5400 or go to www.symphonyspace.org.

Invent Teleporters, Dangit!

2005-10-10T08:10:00.000-05:00

All weekend I've been screwed around by various airports. Let's hope that doesn't continue on my way back to the greatest city on God's green earth. Hope everyone enjoyed your weekends a bit more than me. But, still I give to you, my public. A new Make Believe War is up for your perusal. Today's theme is apologies.

A Special Message

2005-10-07T05:59:00.000-05:00

We of the Ridiculous Stereotype Corps, Red Injun Division would like to wish you all a very happy Genocide Weekend. Thanks a lot for celebrating that asshole Columbus. Because of him, eventually it was OK for major corporations to portray Native Americans like this and be praised for their diversity. You don't see Ebony or the Yellow Claw anymore, but we're fine and dandy. Thanks, America, you stupid crackers.

Memories are made of this

2005-10-06T18:18:00.000-05:00

Ever had a random memory pop into your head? I had one earlier today and I have no idea why. But it's a memory from high school, probably around sophomore year. It was to be a grand project I was working on. I was writing up notes, drawing character sketches, and had no idea for a plot.

See, I was going to update Peanuts. Age them to high school years. Charlie Brown was a punk, anti-establishment. Shroeder was experimenting with drugs and playing guitar. Lucy was a rich slut bitch. Linus was the only popular kid that would still talk to "Chuck." Pigpen had cleaned up and gone preppy. It was to be a biting satire of high school class structure, a real invective. I thought it was awesome.

Of course, at the time I was a adolescent loser mad at the world for the perceived injustice of Kristi Thomas not wanting to go out with me and the outrage of my lack of blowjobs. When you're at that point, taking children's characters and making "commentary" about how shitty life is seems like a great idea.

If only I could relate this anecdote to corporate comics these days, but I can't quite see the connection.

Creepy Comic Moment for the Week

2005-10-05T16:30:00.000-05:00

Guy Gardner moons Batman from outside the Watchtower. Batman's response? "Tell Guy he needs a shave."

What the fuck?

Nerd Notes for the Week

2005-10-05T09:05:00.000-05:00

First off, there's a good interview with Frank Quitely at Silver Bullet. Gets across the man's charm and skill. Also how cute he is. If there's one thing readers of this blog know, it's that we all have a huge crush on Frank Quitely. I want to kiss his face.

Second, I know that pretty much every science fiction movie ever is terrible, especially in the last twenty or thirty years. And I know that Joss Whedon's TV shows are extremely annoying with their incessant "clever" dialogue and terrible actors (I'm looking at you, entire cast of Buffy). But, by damn, if Serenity isn't one of the best flicks I've seen in a while I don't know what to say. Great characterization. The dialogue is a bit more subdued and therefore not annoying. The plot is a fucking train that will not stop no matter how much you want it to. And the fact that it isn't one of the "big franchise" sci-fi movies means that any character is at risk for any danger at any time. You can't kill Han Solo, but . . .well, you get the point.

Speaking of Mr. Solo, it was blogpal Brant who first said the TV show was, "Like what the Star Wars prequels would have been if they were about Han Solo instead of Darth Vader." That, combined with a more subtle understanding of the US Civil War/War of Northern Aggression than usually found in American media, adds to the appeal of the movie. In short, this is a fun movie that's very well done. Shit, it even gets me a bit excited about Whedon's Wonder Woman. But don't tell anyone. Wanting to physically pleasure Frank Quitely is near the limit of my homosexuality.

We Are Handsome

2005-10-03T11:09:00.000-05:00

If you need proof, go check out those beautiful/swarthy models at the Rocketship blog. It's pure hotness personified.

Superheroes that Cry

2005-09-28T19:49:00.000-05:00

Kyle Baker's frustration with/ridicule of current DC comics is often seen in his interviews. But it hasn't been seen so explicitly in his comics until this week. The whole "Prelude to Edwina Crisis Pt. 4" was such a spot-on parody of current DC editorial positions I could hardly stand it. We get death, weeping, pain, anxiety, the Spectre, resurrections, bizarre clues ...and good jokes. This was a really, really good issue. Those of you who stopped reading because it became a humor comic rather than a superhero humor comic should pick this issue up. Looks like Baker's going out with a bang.

Invincible was good fun. I got two issues of New Avengers, an issue of the Sentry, and an issue of Young Avengers. These are very light comics, but they're superhero comics. I mean light-weight, by the way, not fluffy kid comics, though I do believe kids could read them. Straight ahead storytelling with twists, mysteries, and action. I've never liked the Bendis school of comics writing, but it doesn't seem so bad now. It's not great, but in a time where very few superhero comics are readable at all, decent stuff can seem better.

BPRD kicked ass, as you would imagine. God, what a great book. Second best after the brilliant Plastic Man issue. Losers was OK, but it's time for it to end, I think. When Jock isn't drawing it I get bored.

And I heard all this buzz about Peng, so I tried it. Christ, I couldn't get past page five. I guess I'm too old or something, but the combination of art and text styles made this impossible for me to read. I'm a fogey now, right? Shit.

Still haven't read Lady Snowblade, but I have a good feeling about it. So far you are negligent without buying BPRD and Plastic Man. You'll have fun reading Invincible and maybe all the million Avengers books. You will be younger than me if you enjoy Peng.

Mmmmm, oatmeal.

2005-09-26T05:55:00.000-05:00

1. New Make-Believe War.

2. Chris Ware and Charles Burns am awesome guys.

3. Hip hop + Kirby goest together like peanut butter and chocolate or big distorted guitars and moogs; that is to say, awesomely. From MF Doom to Mister Miracle, the two seem to always go spookily well together. Oh, and the psychiatrist is definitely Dr. Bedlam. Look at that "hair" pattern!

Seduction of the Indifferent

2005-09-20T11:24:00.000-05:00

You may or may not have noticed a new blog on the blogroll. Oh, who am I kidding? Until the damn big Superman graphic is gone, nobody's scrolling that far down. So I thought I'd tell you about the new link. It's Seduction of the Indifferent, a new blog from Friend of Listen To Us, Scott M. He mostly deals in older comics, but has a keen eye for quality and recently bought a bunch of new things recommended by Alex and I. So keep a look out, folks, it should be good.

Reminders

2005-09-20T06:07:00.000-05:00

Ian Brill reminds us that if Mike Allred draws a real person in a corporate comic, legal pisses their pants.

DC reminds us that super-"realistic" Plastic Man is dumb as poop.

They also remind us that Japanese perverts aren't the only people in the world who wack off to statues, sadly.

Now you remember.