NO FIWOTTS ALLOWED!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Stop.

Creators, stop boasting about your comic selling out. Maybe they should have printed more of the fuckers in the first place.

Fans, stop complaining that your favourite comic book doesn't come out on time. Yeah, it's shit. But moaning about it won't bring them out any fucking faster.

Nobody cares how you would save comics. Saving is for misers. Stick your plans up your arse, they'll do more use there stopping the shit from leaking out.

No more saying that Grant Morrison is just being weird for weird's sake. Find a new fuckin' cliche. Besides, it's still more interesting than being dull for dullness' sake.

John Byrne: Get off the bloody Internet. You're not doing yourself any favours.

Mark Millar: You can stay, but curb your enthusiasm, mate. It just makes you look stupid.

Bendis: Yes, 70s Marvel was great. It is now the 21st century.

Reading a political subtext into every single funny book ever created is all well and good, but it ain't the only way to read 'em.

Getting excited about a forthcoming comic book because it promises to kill off a character isn't big or clever. It's just fucking morbid.

Super-heroes don't kill. They're smarter and better than that.

The Punisher isn't a super-hero. For that matter, neither is Judge Dredd.

Step AWAY from the caption box, Mr Loeb....

Whoever designs covers and writes solicitations for the big companies: What the fuck are you doing? Are you even trying to sell these books?

If you don't like the direction a comic is taking, don't moan about it on a blog or message board, just stop fucking buying it until you do like it again. So what if you've been buying the title for more than 30 years? That hole won't hurt you.

...

Boy, that feels much better! Merry Christmas everyone!